Why Do Men Flirt and Does it Have Anything To Do With Love?

Man Flirting With Woman

HI 🙂

I did feel so much better after listening to your answer on why guys watch girls have sex even if they're happily married.

Thanks alot 😀

My next question is why do guys want to flirt and why is this so much important for them that they can even fall in love with the girl who was flirting with him.

Is it to do with sexual feelings too??

Whenever i asked my husband what's more important for you to fall in love with a girl, he said if she's just flirting and doing nothing else, I could easily loved her for her ways whatever kind of person she was...kindly answer me..

Thank you and you're welcome - glad you feel better now. Men flirt for lots of different reasons but I highly doubt any of those have anything to do with love directly.

Men flirt to show off their wit and charm and of course to perfect and practice them too.

Men flirt to prove to themselves they can make a woman smile and make her feel good AND feel slightly attracted to them.

Men flirt to give a sexual edge to the conversation - sometimes to let you know they see you as an option and sometimes just to not get thrown in the friends zone if and when they decide they want something more.

Flirting successful also boosts their confidence around women when it's done successfully.

Men also flirt with a woman to test for her interest in him - if she flirts back it's sometimes assumed she is interested and/or attracted to him.

Flirting is (generally) a sub-textual language and what lies underneath it all is often perceived and felt by both who are flirting with each especially when innuendos are being used and fantastic and far-far-fetched stories are being made up.

Flirting is a human connection on a level which can transcend society, age, and circumstance such as when a young man flirts with a much older woman or when the opposite happens.

From our first moment of sexual discovery we're carefully honing our ability to flirt.

This sometimes subtle form of communication plays a major part in the mating ritual of us humans AND it's often a skill that requires practice.

I'm not sure or convinced we (man or woman) is born knowing how to flirt vocally. It may be hard-wired to flirt with our bodies and through our body language but the art of flirting with our words certainly requires time and practice so the skill can be perfected.

The importance of flirting for men comes from knowing - if she flirts back - if she opens up with it - that she is feelings something beyond a casual friendship and there may be a slight sexual tension between them leading him to believe she likes him in "that" way.

LOVE does not seem to come into play here and I don't see the connection.

Of course a man can and has often fallen in love with a woman that has flirted back with him or flirted with him initially but the real love a man experiences requires much more of a deeper connection.

When your husband mentioned he can easily fall in love with a woman who flirts with him and how she doesn't have to do anything else AND how at that point it may not even matter what type of person she is - I believe what he's really saying is mentioned above:

  • She's proving to him she's sexually attracted to him.
  • She's giving his confidence a little boost.
  • She's proving her wit, charm, and intelligence to him.
  • She's proving to him that she GETS him in a way another might not.

AND... most importantly...

She's REACTING positively and sexually to something he is doing.

A man's attraction often hinders on making a woman feel good - physically and emotionally.

When she smiles, when she laughs, when she screams out his name in ecstasy, when her reaction comes from something he is doing directly or indirectly - THAT MAKES HIM FEEL GOOD, accomplished, attractive, smart, and so more connected to her.

Granted, when all those things happen it CAN lead to love and it's certainly a necessary process BUT all that can happen without her flirting with him because...

There are MANY men (especially the type twos) who either can not flirt or won't flirt for many personal reasons such as:

  • They don't feel comfortable doing it.
  • They don't know how or think they know how to do it.
  • It feels like a player move or a sleazy thing to do.

AND since a lot of those guys believe or actually do fall in love rather quickly with a woman often confusing lust, attraction, and love as being the same - the flirting part just doesn't seem to come into play there.

So...

There you have it...

Why guys flirt and how it really doesn't have anything to do with love.

That's the guy side of flirting - if you're having trouble knowing how to flirt with a guy then the article below is a great and short tutorial to get you started:

Flirting With Men - How To Do It With Compliments and Fun

You can also ask me questions below.

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This article was posted in How Men Attract Women – Games, Techniques, Tricks – The Good & The Bad, Why Do Guys – Understanding Men and The Things They Do To Confuse You

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11 comments… add one
  • John

    This man doesn’t flirt. But I like it when women try to flirt with me — it’s a quick way for me to identify women who are insecure, stupid, immature, desperate, and/or slutty. Women who act flirty immediately go into the “ignore” pile. I’m not interested in dating a woman who never grew past her teenage years.

    • Strange how you would relate flirting to being immature. I understand how if the flirting technique doesn’t develop into something more “adult” like it can be quite childish like pulling hair or calling names but I’d say lots of women progress beyond that and it’s certainly a big part of the human mating ritual. Sorry to hear that you’re missing out on that but thanks for sharing John. Much appreciated.

      From my perspective:

      Insecure women don’t flirt, they flaunt OR act extremely introvert.

      Stupid – probably not because they “right” type of flirting requires intelligence, wit, and charm. Immature – I still don’t think it’s immature to engage in a long-standing human mating game.

      Desperate women rarely flirt – they act needy, sometimes bitter, sometimes overly nice which is not flirting – more in line with approval seeking.

      Slutty – I suppose that would depend more on HOW she flirts and then the ACTS she performs more than the words she uses, right?

      Again though – thanks for the comment. Always great to hear everyone’s views here at why do guys.

  • Joseph

    Is there like a pepper spray or some curse spell that stops flirting.

    • Sorry to hear you don’t like flirting that much but let’s not get too drastic.

  • Shade

    Thanks for your share!! Great read and not just for guys….I am female and found that your article hits the nail on the head in terms of explaining my motives behind flirting.

    • Peter White

      You’re welcome Shade and thank you for sharing.

  • saira

    Thanks for your wonderful reply 🙂 u told me to remind u to tell everything about flirting.

    • Peter White

      That I did and I appreciate the reminder Saira. I’ll set my “flirting” alarm for sometime in the near future.
      Most welcome,
      Pete

    • Ms. Kim A. Domangue

      A good article and very well thought about and researched before writing about it Mr. Peter White. This article makes complete sense about why men flirt.

    • Juanita

      I just wanted to leave a comment saying THANK YOU! It’s beautiful how you take time out of your life to speak and teach women like myself things about men and a mans behavior. It’s a real gift you’re giving us all.

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