"Hi Pete... I have a question. Do guys give girls gifts or anything, just because or is there hidden meaning behind what they give us women?
Thank you. Tara"
Hi Tara, I had this type of discussion with a guy a few days ago. HE believed gift giving was a "romantic gesture" which was okay to do (early on) and how it showed the woman he believed she was special. How was he was willing to go the extra mile just for her.
If you listen to him - then yes, there was a definite meaning to his gesture AND he's hoping it's not hidden - that you'll get the hint or take it the right way:
He's interested in you.
He's hoping you'll actually like him more by doing it.
Of course - I argued with him and said,
"I'd refrain from giving gifts too early because it only tells a woman you believe you're not good enough for her. How you feel you have to buy her love. How you have to prove to her you'd make a great provider AND you're kind of telling some women that she's the type of person who expect gifts and therefore can only fall for a guy who can afford to lavish gifts."
I don't think I made him see my side because he kept saying it was okay and how he's the type of guy who likes to do those things anyways. How he doesn't see anything wrong with showing a woman he cares for her in that way.
In all honestly, he doesn't truly understand what attracts a woman to a guy and how it has little to do with any physical gifts he gives her.
He's trying to increase YOUR attraction to him by giving or buying you a gift.
MOST of the time - this means he's a TYPE TWO guy. Type ones - unless it's a deeper part of their character which you would look elsewhere to figure out - rarely ever give gifts early on.
(Sign up below and I'll tell you all about the two types of guys and when it comes to giving gifts and what it means - it's ALWAYS important to know his type.)
This is why it's a problem and why this makes him a type two guy:
If you felt nothing to begin with, it becomes creepy and you'll respect him less.
It cheapens the experience you two are sharing.
If you felt a little for him then it may feel more sincere but becomes just a sweet gesture.
Underneath you'll begin to hope he could naturally make you feel more for him through his actions and words and NOT by trying to BUY your love or affection.
If you've already loved him and he knows you so well, then he "finds" something just for you... of course THAT gift would mean or represent everything to you.
This is how I see it all:
When it's a symbol of your love you already share, a sweet something to remember, an encouragement to make you laugh smile or reach out and grab us - then yes... "Just because" seems to work great and I wouldn't expect an ulterior motive.
When it's a plea for your heart - an attempt to raise your attraction - a blatant attempt to prove his worth over another guy - then yes... the meaning is not so hidden, is it?
When it comes from a guy who tends to give more than he accepts and although it may be a little selfish, it's just who he is... it's hard to tell if THAT gift means more than the gift he gave to someone else.
In THAT case I'd assume it means nothing sexual - since all his friends receive something from him too.
Your question reminds me of an article in the "man archives" at DiaLteG TM. You'll find the article below gives some great solid advice to guys on the rules of gift-giving so we don't go and mess up with you.
Here's a quote from it.
Gifts early on should be geared toward enhancing the experience of your time together, not to impress a woman.
Hold off on the flowers and the candy until you’ve built up some genuine rapport and interest from her, then your gifts will be appreciated.
Although it is designed for guys it can help you decipher why a guy might be giving you a gift based on your current relationship with him or from a guy you're dating or thinking about dating.
Honestly I would mostly and safely assume...
A gift from a guy when you're both single means he's trying to court you, convince you to date him, and wants to show you how special he thinks you are to him.
If he does it too early, unless it's a social thing, he probably doesn't believe he can attract you without it AND he's hoping you'll get the hint.
If he does it in a relationship AND is not lamely making up for a mistake, it's probably meant to be symbol of his love for you.
I'd say in the generalized world - a gift ALWAYS means something and it can tell you a lot about the person giving it.
Thanks for the gift of your great question Tara.
You'll definitely be interested in reading an article about "gift giving" that breaks down what each gift may mean to you, to him, whether you like the gift or in this case - not: