"Hi Pete... I have a question. Do guys give girls gifts or anything, just because or is there hidden meaning behind what they give us women?
Thank you. Tara"
When a not-so-specific type of guy gives you a gift, there's always a meaning behind it.
However, what is actually being hid from you is not so obvious to him and possibly to you.
I recently had a conversation with a gentlemen who believed it was okay to give a woman a gift early in the dating stage and I don't agree with him.
He said it was a "romantic gesture" to show her that he felt she was special and how he would go the extra mile for her. He explained there's nothing wrong with showing a woman that he cares for her.
In his mind - SHOWING HE CARES and GIFT GIVING were connected and that he would expect the woman to "get his hint".
Clearly he missed the fact that there are countless ways to show a woman you care for her that don't have a physical gift attached to it, but that's neither here nor there now.
According to him there was a definite meaning to his gesture. He's hinting at something he wants you to get, but can not (or does not) want to say it directly.
He's interested in you beyond friendship. He's hoping you'll like him more or at least begin to feel something based on the intended sincerity behind the gift.
Then what IS he trying to hide from you or himself? What's the REAL hidden meaning?
He doesn't feel good or skillful enough to attract you.
He's trying to impress you.
He believes he has to make himself look better in your eyes, that you're better than him.
He's trying to prove he's make a great provider someday and he'd be there to take care of you.
He is trying to buy your love and affection behind the mask of "supposed" romance.
He believes you're in charge of a mating process he does not understand.
YOU are the chooser.
HE is the chaser.
Clearly, he doesn't understand how attraction works for women, the human mating process, and won't admit it to himself or others that if he wants a more productive path to love and dating, he must learn some other way to make things easier on him and women too.
He doesn't want you to know he's a type two guy who just doesn't get it.
*A type one might give you a gift if it's a deeper part of their character, but as far as his interest or intention to further date you, it won't reveal much and leave you more confused. So for type ones- please don't read into it too much because you'll only get more confused.
So yeah -there's definitely a lot more going on underneath the surface but is now no longer hidden from you.
The ACTUAL gifts, what they are, what they represent, and the message a guy might be intending to send you are somewhat of a different story because of the connection you've already made and the endless gifts which can be given to you.
Here's an article I wrote which breaks down a few real gifts given and the message a guy might be trying to send you:
Here's some other meanings behind the gift giving based on his type and the relationship you have with him.
When it's a symbol of your love you already share, a sweet something to remember, an encouragement to make you laugh smile or reach out and grab us - then yes... "Just because" seems to work great and I wouldn't expect an ulterior motive.
When it's a plea for your heart - an attempt to raise your attraction - a blatant attempt to prove his worth over another guy - then yes... the meaning is not so hidden and was covered above.
When it comes from a guy who tends to give more than he accepts and although it may be a little selfish, it's just who he is... it's hard to tell if THAT gift means more than the gift he gave to someone else.
In THAT case I'd assume it means nothing sexual - since all his friends receive something from him too.
When you're both single means he's trying to court you, convince you to date him, and wants to show you how special he thinks you are to him.
If he does it too early, unless it's a social thing, he probably doesn't believe he can attract you without it and he's hoping you'll get the hint.
If he does it in a relationship and is not trying to make up for a mistake he thinks he made, it's probably meant to be symbol of his love for you.
All in all.
A gift ALWAYS means something and it can tell you a lot about the person giving it.
Thank you Tara for the wonderful gift of your great question.
We'll talk again real soon.
Some further reading just for you:
Your question reminds me of an article in the "man-chives" at DiaLteG TM. Carlos gives advice to men on the rules of gift-giving. Although it is written for men, it can help you decipher why a guy might be giving you a gift based on your current relationship with him.
Gifts early on should be geared toward enhancing the experience of your time together, not to impress a woman.
Hold off on the flowers and the candy until you’ve built up some genuine rapport and interest from her, then your gifts will be appreciated.
From Why Do Guys: