You say that how a woman is dressed doesn’t make a difference in how a guy becomes attracted to a girl in this article but in another article you say if a girl allows guys to see more they will imagine her nude, and that is does make a difference in attraction.
So which one is it?
Because if I’m at the beach in a bikini that’s what guys gonna see first. It does make a difference on how people see you.
Can you clarify that?
Great point! I understand how confusing it can be so I'd be happy to clarify it all for you.
A man's initial gut-level attraction is a sight thing. That's a well-known fact.
We see - we feel it... or not. This happens in a fraction of a second AND is beyond our control.
If a woman is dressed where most of her body is out there showing lots of skin, it becomes easy for a guy to imagine her naked, and so that's where his mind will most likely go AND when the "sexual" first part of attraction becomes more prominent.
That's not to say if a guy sees a woman hiding everything or dressed-down that he won't imagine her naked, but you must admit the sexual edge (depending on his culture, age, and sexual experience) won't be as great.
Depending several factors such as how long it's been since he's had sex and his imagination.
The men with the greater ability to strip a woman's clothes off in his mind when she's barely showing anything, can have him doing it with any woman he sees no matter what she's wearing that day.
Making it more likely he'll indulge in his fantasies.
If you're dressed in a bikini it requires no imagination at all for a man to picture you naked which opens up every guy who cares to do it or finds him himself doing it.
I'm not going to guess how many do it - I'm sure it's a lot but I don't have the actual numbers for you.
This is what I wrote in the article:
"It does NOT matter how attractive you think you are at that stage (mostly) or how you’re dressed, where you’re going, what you’re doing, who you’re with, whether you’re married, engaged, in a relationship, NOTHING makes a difference."
In most men's minds they can be attracted to your body type - as in the ass or breasts or legs - and for lots of men that's where their eyes will either start, or end up on.
BUT your face, specifically your EYES is where it all starts as we're (sort of) programmed to make eye contact as part of the human mating ritual.
Which means HOW you dress is NOT always the most important part of what triggers our sight attraction with the understanding of a few certain variables:
A lesser confident guy will try to hide his stares and is less likely to make eye contact with you, which might make him go for the body first.
If you just walked past, he looked up, and got a glimpse of your ass this can also stir his attraction, BUT his instinct will be to see your face before he's fully feeling attracted to you.
In that case, WHAT you're wearing can make a difference as in wearing baggy clothes that don't show off your body or anything clothing which may hide your figure or shape.
If you're in a bikini showing lots of skin the eyes might come last because of the distance factor.
Meaning - It's easier to take notice of a full body from further away than it is to see your eyes; so the body comes first - depending on the guy and the situation the eyes will follow.
A single guy might try to make eye contact where a married or committed man might avoid eye contact because as stated above - eye contact is the natural start of the mating ritual, and a man who is in a relationship will feel unsettled or uneasy making eye contact with a woman he's attracted to, for hopefully obvious reasons.
Now you should have a basic idea of the differences and a little closer to answering your question in full.
What it really comes down to is:
ATTRACTION - finding a woman attractive based on an instinctive gut feeling or reaction to any kind of visual (or sometimes aural - what he hears) stimulus can and does happen regardless of what you're wearing, if the guy can at least see your FACE and EYES.
The rest - as in your body - well if that is seen first, attraction can still happen; based on what you're wearing, what you're doing, where you're doing it, who he's with, what he's into, if he someone's boyfriend or husband, etc... are all situational things and all will cause a guy to react a certain way BUT attraction IS attraction.
What also changes based on those circumstances is the strong sexual urges a man feels towards you.
Sure, attraction is kind of a sexual thing, but what you're wearing AND what he's into, can engage more of a sexual urge inside the guy which may or may not override the typical being attractive to him.
Obviously if you're half-naked you would expect it to be more sexual for lots of guys.
Not all though, because I guarantee there are plenty of guys who become very sexually aroused by a woman who is fully clothed in whatever "floats his boat" or fantasies he has conjured up or developed in his life experiences with women.
What's been covered so far is physical attraction and with guys, there's more to his attraction and what drives him than sights and sounds.
As a man progresses from the physical and beyond he experiences another level of attraction which is his THOUGHT process.
This is where communication, selection, connection, his self-esteem, his confidence, his past experiences, etc... and how it's all related to YOU comes into play.
You can find two men who appear similar in many respects to the physical attraction part progress to the next level in completely two different ways.
There are too many variables to mention so I'll relate it to your experience with wearing a bikini at the beach.
Take two men who notice you and feel attracted to you by sight alone.
One will feel extremely attracted to you and NEVER allow it to go further just because of how you look, what you're wearing, and how strong sexually is feeling towards you.
While another will fully engage you.
He might even approach you and get to know you.
He might get to the next level with you or just choose or opt for sex, based on his sexual urges and the next level won't matter to him.
The two very same men can react or ACT entirely differently if you were to meet on a bus where you were not dressed up or showing any skin at all.
Partly because the sexual edge is taken off the guys and partly because of how men deal with women when they are strongly physically attracted to your body.
Take the same two guys and they see you not dressed up or showing much bare skin, but you're getting out of an expensive sports car and walking towards them.
Now the sexual edge is less but you have two different presumptions the guys make about you - with regards to WHO you are because in one - you're riding a bus and in the other you're driving an expensive car.
How they proceed or be willing to act and make it to the second stage partly comes down again to THEM and is entirely up to their life-experience, choices in women, etc..
The two forms or stages of attraction is the main difference along with who he is and the connection you may make with him.
What you're wearing, or what you're doing, or where you meet or see each other CAN affect a guy in a way which is above and beyond physical or sexual attraction; which will either cause him to act or not act, react or not react, despite him being triggered to feel attracted to you.
Regardless of what you're wearing a guy can feel a physical attraction towards you.
That's what I call his FIRST stage attraction which may vary from guy to guy but there are more common elements than differences.
What you're wearing can bring about more sexual urges and cause him to undress you in his mind or imagine you naked.
If you're showing lots of skin or the obvious shape of your body then it's very likely his mind will go there.
The page below gets deep into all that and more and it's free here at why do guys... no sign up. Just read and learn!
"The truth is, men are only turned on by a small set of variables that are biologically hardwired into their brains.
The most powerful of these variables are the ones that differentiate women from men.
Tomboys make for good friends but rarely have men longing for a special kind of committed relationship with them.
In other words, your femininity is sexy.
You'll want to fully embrace all the aspects of your body that differentiate you from a man."
When happens to men after is called the SECOND stage of attraction and what you're wearing, what you're doing, etc... is what becomes more relevant AND will affect a guy one way or another as to him proceeding or moving forward.
There are way too many variables to mention how or why men get to this next stage so I'll mention the very basics:
Who he is, his beliefs, his experience with women, where he sees you, what he sees you doing, who you are, your beliefs, who you're with, and yes there's more... will lead him there or not.
What you're wearing at first plays its part - that's for sure - but the overall importance is debatable because you can (with the right communication skills and attitude) override his initial resistance and help him get there.
OR you can (all too easily) STOP him from going there too.
Making the second stage attraction a very important and CRITICAL step in the process.
You have the physical attraction. It would seem you have no problem attracting men that way.
Which is great and all.
But to really "attract" a guy you must connect with him in a way which makes the second stage of attraction happen for him just as easy and natural as the physical part does for him.
AND it must be done in a way which also leads to a "A Deep Emotional Bond" because that's where relationships and commitments are truly made and flourish too.
Despite the common belief that men are only into looks and beauty, most REAL men want something more from a woman before they're made to feel ready to take the next step AND the next step after that...
You must realize that your beauty or sexiness is never enough for that to happen or else it would be easy to attract a great guy, right?
Men generally have two stages of attraction.
The first is the physical part which is beyond their control.
They see (sometimes hear) and it's triggered.
The second stage is where it all happens IF you want something more from a man and the key to making THAT happen is to communicate in such a way that it NATURALLY happens so it feels like the first stage to him... in other words...
The deeper feelings he has with you also become...
Beyond his control.
With so many variables and ways the second part can either happen or not (up to and including who he is inside) it's best to focus on that, while maintaining the look you feel best suits you and makes you feel physically attractive and wonderfully exciting inside.
That's partly what is covered in the report:
The second stage in created by HOW you CONNECT with a man and how he connects with you. This connection is covered above because often it begins at first sight (depending on who he is or where and how it's made) but can be quite easily developed into something more.
You CAN override his initial sight connection with attractive communication.
The darling Rori Raye in all her "feminine" wisdom and how she instructs women to make that connection is covered in many of her programs.
The introductory or starter book covers many of the basics and works perfectly to help you make the RIGHT CONNECTION.
Sometimes it's all that is needed.
You can pick it up below at the perfect price using my affiliate link which doesn't cost you any more even though I do earn a commission.
The BEST FULL option is covered in her Modern Siren series where she steers you clear of any and all wrong connections you make with a guy, to assure NOTHING gets in the way of his progression to a deeper second stage attraction.
And we're just about done...
It can all be confusing, that's totally understandable.
The relationships between men and women is not always a "this or that" conclusion because of all the variables or circumstances which come into play BUT...
This remains consistent and is very clear and simple:
HOW you dress can trigger his attraction and how you dress can also trigger his desire to CONNECT with you, and when BOTH are BEYOND HIS CONTROL, that's where the real magic happens and often does.
Just the same - how you dress can have the opposite effect because some men, based on what they see, will prejudge you and refuse to connect with you on that much needed deeper level UNLESS you learn the skill to override his thought process and...
Questions are always welcome - see you below or on my free newsletter.