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Why Do Guys…?

What Happens After Eye Contact – Is What Comes Next, Everything?

in Reading A Man’s Mind
Eye Contact Before After Why Mean Everything

Eye contact can mean everything to guys.

It’s the prelude to a few things:


Flee. (Flight)


Courtship. Yep, the classic mating sequence we all share. 😉

Actually there is no “OR” –

It’s either fight:

The internal struggle with failure or success. Do we MAN UP and approach you? Do we let you know we’re checking you out? Do we pump up our chest and grumble?

Or it’s flee:

Hide in shame. Hide the fact we were checking you out. Whimper away and hope to do it again. Are we really that intimidated by your beauty? Perhaps sometimes, yes.

Let’s not get too technical.

I’d rather just give you some dirt.

The “weakness?” of men. 🙂

When it comes to “types of women” most average healthy men have one type which really does it for them. Since our first stage of attraction is by sight, this type stands out and we’re more likely to be making eye contact with her.

For me, it’s ALWAYS been younger blue-eyed blondes. Yeah I know, typical right? Haha! But that is just a type and if you really want to know what type of women turns me on, read something I wrote explaining my “infatuation” with beautiful women – What Does It Really Mean To Only Want To Date Beautiful Women?.

Anyways, here’s a recent “experience” I’ve been through which will reveal what this “eye contact” thing means to guys.

Let me tell you this one woman was amazing!

We made eye contact with her but kept my distance. She was busy, so was I. And no I did NOT look away first.

I looked again but this time I was drawn to her entire body. My aim was to avoid getting caught and making her feel awkward.

Yep, it’s why us guys do that sort of thing and to selflessly divulge our sexual drive associated with sight.

Later on, when the moment came, I so classically and confidently introduced myself. I can be quite smooth. 😉

I reached out my hand put it a foot from her heart, where it belongs, and she understood.

She put out her hand and we shook as we exchanged our names and how wonderful it was to meet each other.

Great story. Right? Hahaha!!!

That was it.

It wasn’t a “meet cute”. It wasn’t a prelude to a passionate night. We did not exchange contact information or even saliva.

I walked away rather slowly and continued to “do my thing”.

The secret of all this is what I was doing…

Planting a seed. ( As some have called it. )

She saw some guy. She might have felt I was checking her out. She might be thinking I’m attracted to her. She felt my presence though, I made sure that happened.

Before things got too distant and strange I made sure we met. That’s all.

She met some guy who wasn’t afraid of her beauty. A guy who wasn’t interested in seeing how quick I could sleep with her.

A guy who was confident enough to:

Make Eye contact – Fight. Yes. I approached her to open up something later.

It’s what some of us do.

It also reveals the types of men you’re going to deal with on an everyday basis.

Some flee. Cower. Run. Avoid. Procrastinate. Some fight. Chest up or whatever. Get right to the point.

Take a closer look at what I wrote you and you’ll see something very interesting.

Notice the timing.

When we were busy or she was distracted, yes I DID manage to divulge myself a little, BUT I held back from approaching her.

So what would have happened if I never got the moment to alleviate the tension eye contact can create for a couple days?

She could have easily been misled into believing or thinking – WHY? Why is he staring at ME?

It shows us how easily you can mistake something when you take it out of context.

It also tells us there’s absolutely no way of telling what type of guy you’re dealing because of circumstance. If I didn’t get the moment to approach her I could have come off as some slimy stalker, pathetic fool, or just another guy gawking at her body. Let’s face it, she had to know at some level how “hot” she was.

Okay in a way I was, “gawking” but I have no reservations about my sexual appetite. 😉 I mean she was pretty hot and I’m positive women even do the same thing – except they add, “She’s so beautiful!”

This is how us guys think.

When it comes to eye contact, if the moment doesn’t arrive, we tend to resort to the “worst possible outcome” making it much more difficult to once again, begin the courtship process.

I would say most of the time we WANT to “plant a seed” and sometimes we do, but because of circumstance, personal inhibitions, luck, and more… the seed doesn’t get watered or firmly planted.

We’re left with a staring contest… and forever unsure.

Eye contact can mean everything because of what happens after and not necessarily why it happens between a sexually aware man or woman.

Think about all this the next time you catch a guy “checking you out” or making prolonged eye contact with you and I’m sure this understanding will leave you in a better place, smiling in that coy way you do.

About the author: Peter White… Showing men and women ways to attract each other naturally by helping you to understand each other. Over ten years experience which has shown me how to see things clearly and get to the root cause of most dating and relationships problems. Hope you learn and enjoy your why do guys experience.

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6 comments… add one
  • Amber Gardner

    “‘So what would have happened if I never got the moment to alleviate the tension eye contact can create for a couple days?””

    A couple of days? Months.

    • Peter White


      I’m going to say that if it lasts for months it’s probably that the guy can not approach her. Meaning he’s not single OR doesn’t know what to say AND/OR doesn’t have much confidence around women.

      I’ve mentioned before that when a guy crosses a line and stares for too long, he’s less likely to ever act on it. The guy feels at this point, either SHE doesn’t want him to approach OR she’ll think he’s creepy OR even might be thinking, “Why bother at this point. She must know I’m checking her out and since she hasn’t come forward, she must not be interested or find me attractive anyways.”

      I wrote this not too long ago:
      What Goes On Inside His Mind – From The Moment Of Approach And Beyond

      If you’re interested what goes on inside our minds which might cause the staring to go on indefinitely – read it.


  • MaryH

    I hugged this man once & gave a ‘tight squeeze’ just as i was leaving.
    Afterwards; he gave piercing eye-contact & with a very serious face.
    I was afraid he actually hated me for doing it, like i’d done something wrong. Thought he was going to fight & annihilate me. It was quite an intense experience.
    Now i don’t know what to think!?

    What do you think Peter?

    • Peter White

      I will admit that yes, there are rare circumstances where the guy might feel that way after a tight hug BUT they are definitely not the norm. A guy might be harboring deep feelings and feels rejected. Therefore he’d resent her for “doing that” to him OR if a past experience might in unsuitable to do something like that (in public.) There may be a few more I haven’t thought of yet.

      Still – my intuition tells me this is a feeling you’ve crafted yourself.

      YOU were afraid he hated you for doing it.
      YOU felt like YOU did something wrong.
      YOU imagined his serious stare as a prelude to a fight because…

      YOU went in flight or flee mode after the eye contact.

      When you experience something which feels intense to you, your emotions are heightened and are more likely to “project” on to someone else and easily misread the situation.

      This type of thing happens a lot to guys who are afraid to approach women AND because men are not usually as good as women in reading subtleties of social interactions with women.

      Okay, yes MaryH – I’m willing to say that his stare was probably misread by you, meaning you projected a little BUT there IS a chance, because of that last statement, he was definitely reading or guessing the hug meant something else.

      I’m sure, based on your knowledge of the experience and how it relates to your life with him in it – and from what I’ve given you – you’ll have the answer which fits perfectly.

      That’s what I think. 🙂

  • MaryH

    Thanks very much Peter.
    You really help to alleviate my mental anguish i appreciate you!

    I am worried just encase he was reading or guessing the hug meant something else.
    ( Yep, i feel its wrong, but this was only after seeing his reaction, i started to second guess myself. I wasn’t expecting that outcome. i.e the piercing gaze!)
    It felt uncharacteristically intense & different from our usual easy breezy interactions.

    I really need to be more aware of boundaries and it all gets a bit overwhelming at times.

  • MaryH

    It wasn’t a prolonged squeeze i gave.
    (He actually did that to me once, i think he was trying to lift me up off the ground, i felt crushed to death in a bear-like grip!)
    He always gave a hug on greeting and leaving so this time i kind of
    gave a quick squeeze whilst hugging as he was leaving.
    (Gosh, never thought hugs could be such hard work! haha! )

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