Pole dancing or "pole exercising" certainly raises some interesting and often heated discussions between men and women. The most recent discussion involved my wife as we talked about the sexuality of the sport and if we (us men) find it erotic and sexually exciting.
Here are events in Pole Sports that led our chat:
On October 2, 2017 - the GAISF (Global Association of International Sports Federations) gained Observer Status to use and develop their sports which could help make Pole Dancing or more appropriately Pole Sports an Olympic Sport. The IPSF (International Pole Sports Foundation) want to set,
"...in place format that will be accepted by international sport governing bodies, the IPSF’s goal is for the Olympic committee to recognise Pole Sports as an official sport and to become part of the Olympic Games."
My wife is very passionate about her pole sport routines and practices it often. A few years ago she developed one for me as birthday gift. It was an amazing gift you might imagine lots of men would be happy to receive, as I certainly was too.
I obviously find my wife extremely sexy but the gift led us on the topic of if I actually find pole dancing sexy... or not, and if men in general feel the same way.
She was surprised when I told her that "pole dancing" is not really sexually exciting to me.
Sure, her enthusiasm and passion doing what she loves is always exciting for me, and I support her in any endeavor; but the truth is I don't find it that erotic at all.
I fully understand the difference between a stripper swinging on a pole half-naked and the full athleticism it takes to perform pole sports. I understand what a stripper does is much easier (athletically speaking) and just maybe that's why I don't see pole sports as a sexual thing.
I thought about it and wasn't sure if I was alone in my thoughts.
Was I the only man who felt this way?
Do lots of men find pole sports not as sexually exciting as a woman dancing around a pole while stripping?
That remains to be answered as I do encourage you to ask you male friends, husband, or boyfriend their thoughts on the subject and leave them below in the comment section.
For now... lot's consider this:
When you add "athlete" or "sport" to something does it then become less sexual and merely something else?
Our discussion went on until something strange entered my mind.
I don't believe I find pole dancing sexual but I do find it somewhat fun to watch as a sport. The same as I would watching any sport aligned with my favorites.
This WAS my initial thought process.
It's a sport - therefore it's ineffective in turning me on.
However, with her clever ways and curiosity, she began showing me a video of a guy doing some amazing and clearly athletic moves on a pole, and I felt a little disgusted. Quite literally turned OFF.
Sure, he was impressive. The moves were very advanced and difficult. He must've taken the time and effort to get it right which entices my athletic voyeurism, but then why was I taken back from it?
It just did not have the same effect on me as watching a guy doing the rings or even any gymnastic sport during the Olympics? Those things I enjoy and are far from disgusted by their barely clothed muscular bodies showing off their strength and technical skills.
Why this happened and the difference can hopefully shed some light on this subject.
I concluded is must have something to do with pole dancing being such a prominent feature of a stripper which is clouding or bending my attraction to feel this way.
Since I don't find men attractive, or I'm not gay, the sight of seeing a guy perform wasn't as pleasurable as watching a woman do the very same moves on the pole.
Therefore there MUST some sexual attachment to pole sports my mind is not seeing, but the man inside me is recognizing as sexually attractive.
It only stands to reason that this goes quite deep and as a guy, it's certainly a struggle to come to grips as to what this all means.
I certainly find my wife highly attractive, sexy, beautiful, and she has an amazing body. She turns me on in so many ways and despite her beauty, it's not always her looks.
BUT I'm not the type of guy to enjoy or ever have enjoyed paying a woman I don't know to tease me in a strip club.
Sure if my wife wants to strip for me personally, she WILL turn me on, and I will always encourage her to do whatever she is comfortable doing while we are alone.
Maybe it's the athleticism of pole sports which stops me from enjoying the sexuality of it, or how sexy it can be.
Maybe it's the muscle thing. When I'm watching a guy and see more muscles, I don't feel excited because I'm not attracted to muscles on a woman, and I know the type of strength it takes to perform in some seemingly simple pole moves.
Although I will admit I've seen a few women "polers" who were not that muscular, they were in good shape but it didn't make much of a difference for me sexually. They still didn't do it for me (realistically) but it was more pleasurable to watch over some guy on the pole.
And I'm positive I'm not alone in these feeling among men.
If you ask a man which is more sexually exciting, going to a pole dancing event or a strip club, he will have to admit watching a stripper is certainly more exciting, but that's probably because she will be taking her clothes off and dancing around sexually.
My intention is not to compare the two, one being a sport, the other being eroticism, merely pointing out in the modern reality of men, up until recently, a pole and a woman typically meant she was stripping.
We (men) never considered or even knew that history dates back pole dancing to men, and not to women, and it goes back at least eight hundred years:
"The use of pole for sports and exercise has been traced back at least eight hundred years to the traditional Indian sport of mallakhamb." -
In my short life, as with most modern men, the introduction of the pole was strictly in a "gentlemen's club" because Pole Art and Pole Exercising wasn't introduced until much later in our life:
"The pole dance craze is believed to have kicked off in Canada in the 1980’s. A woman named Fawnia Dietrich initiated the first ever class in teaching pole to non-performers in 1994, and has gone on to create the world’s first pole dancing school and produced various instructional videos."
In my mind - pole "dancing" can be an exercise routine, it IS an art form, it IS a sport and deserves to be in the Olympics.
It's amazing what we can train our bodies to do and this sport rises above many others in body training and so rightfully deserves its place.
However, the act of stripping around a pole, or watching my wife put on a private "show" just for me, is definitely much more erotic to me.
It's tough to say what exactly turns all men on considering their many fetishes and what the huge range of what they find sexually appealing.
I'm sure there are lots of guys who DO get turned on watching a woman perform on a pole athletically as opposed to me, who sees it more as a sport than a "turn on".
Now that the pole has evolved or technically is going back to its roots, it's a good thing it's moving away from an erotic dance where the performer is not really doing much more than dancing around a phallic symbol, to something which highlights our amazing human physical abilities.
Pole Art is an athletic sport and therefore is the main reason why it is not sexually appealing to me. Male or female, sports are fun to watch but clearly not erotic by any stretch of my sexual imagination.
Strippers who casually use the pole is much more sexually appealing as I can see it, but honestly, it's not something I seek out or have ever bothered seeking in my life.
A man on the pole IS an athletic event and why it's less exciting to watch is most likely related to what I've connected in my life based on the public prominence of pole dancing, before it went back to its roots - was associated with half-naked ladies in strip clubs.
I have no real experimental basis to conclude that pole dancing (aside from erotic dancers) are sexually attractive to a majority of men who live where it's socially accepted and legal to perform.
THAT is something to consider and I look forward to hearing your views or experiences with men on this matter.
Give your responses below.
For those of you who have shown some interest in learning how to pole dance, get some more exercise in your life, and wish to support my pages at why do guys - I had my wife pick out her two favorite courses and my link to everything POLE related at amazon:
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Image by Estee White Photography
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