Written by Mirabelle Summers - creator of the Get a Great Guy Guide.
Does climbing Mt. Everest seem easier compared to achieving greater self-confidence? Perhaps you feel that being a bolder, more attractive version of yourself is too much of a tall order.
Are you one of those women who turn into a NERVOUS wreck when meeting a cute guy for the first time?
Worse, do you feel like you should be a totally different person or stuff down all wonderful the aspects of your personality?
If that's the case, then you need to break out of this harmful train of thought. The things you want to be are already inside you, but you'll need a healthy amount of self-confidence for others to see it!
When you think about the dating scene, what do you believe are the necessary "selling points" you need to get a guy's attention?
It seems like some girls know something others don't.
A lot of women end up scratching their heads thinking, "How does SHE do it? It's as if she does practically nothing but she's NEVER short on dates!"
Well, the real trick to connecting with quality guys is by putting yourself on EQUAL footing with them.
After all, the kind of man you want needs to be on the same page as you are, so let's go through three quick tips:
#1: Look after yourself
You may think that this is about being a flawless specimen of beauty or wallowing in vanity.
NOT at all.
What I'm stressing here is that you need to let everyone know you care enough to look your best.
And that's not the same as physical perfection "guys just need to cotton on to the fact that you're always on top of your looks."
The men that we squeal in delight over are considerate enough to look as good as they do. Even if he isn't without a few flaws here and there, you KNOW that he's got it together.
Thus, we ladies should be game enough to make ourselves just as presentable as they are. Would you date someone who had no regard for hygiene?
Any guy who's let go of himself would lower his chances of finding a partner and that certainly applies to us as well!
Now, what details should we be concerned about?
First of all, being fresh and clean is paramount. You may have an awesome personality, but you can help others see all of that by being in a PRESENTABLE package.
This is where regular showers and other daily habits such as flossing, brushing your teeth and shaving come in.
Why should we let cleanliness be an issue that'll get in the way of meeting gorgeous men?
Try putting on a nice feminine fragrance that distinctly defines you. Get beautified by spritzing on a light perfume that isn't overpowering but pleasant enough to have guys at the first whiff!
Also, don't be shy with lotions (like vanilla or other similarly enticing scents) to keep you looking AND feeling smooth.
There's nothing like a feminine appearance of delicate softness to appeal to a guy's masculine sensibilities!
This same approach goes with your sense of style. Don't be afraid to try on outfits that amplify your womanly attributes.
Looking good doesn't have to mean baring too much. A tasteful outfit should bring out your feminine essence, expose just ENOUGH skin, and accentuate your curves.
If you need help with this, employ the help of the people in your life who have a knack for style and fashion.
They'll be able to recommend dresses, tops and blouses that'll keep you classy and sensual at the same time.
The most elegant wardrobes allow a HINT of skin in the right places and any guy with the tiniest bit of imagination will be intrigued enough to take notice!
I'm sure you know at least one woman who happens to have fabulous hair that suits her perfectly.
You don't have to imitate her style; instead ask her where she gets her hair done so the same salon can fine tune your own set of locks.
Everyone is different, so consulting with a stylist will help narrow down a customized appearance that complements your frame and personality. Whether your hairstyle is straight, wavy or curly, the important thing is that it's clean, lustrous and fully expresses your unique identity!
Of course, FITNESS has a lot to do with being a girl who has it together. You don't need a perfect body mass index, but it does matter that you are making an EFFORT in this regard.
As busy girls, we have a load of excuses to keep us from working out regularly. However, if we recognize its importance in the general scope of dating (or your health for that matter), we can ALWAYS find time to work on ourselves, one way or another.
As for other matters, a dentist, dermatologist and other specialists who offer the kind assistance you need (be it your teeth, skin, etc) to really help polish the overall package. Investing in their services is a necessary factor to letting everyone know you're looking after yourself.
Generally, the sum of your beautifying efforts weighs a lot more than your imperfections. What girl doesn't have something they don't like about themselves?
But it doesn't matter since guys are willing to gloss over these infinitesimal details if they know you're the kind of girl who doesn't neglect herself.
In a parallel universe, we could look into each others inner beauty and that would be enough.
However, the way we present ourselves still matters when it comes to making a memorable first impression!
#2: Have yourself to rely on
Neediness in an emotional and material sense is one of the biggest roadblocks to greater attractiveness.
Sure, guys may get the occasional kick out of being your knight in shining armor, but for the most part you'll need to let them know you can live without their brute strength.
In many relationships, the balance of power is so lopsided against a woman's favor that it allows bad stuff to seep in, such being taken for granted. If a guy knows you can live WITHOUT him, he'll naturally treat you better and it will breed MUTUAL respect.
It's a human tendency to VALUE something you could lose at any given moment, right?
But of course I don't recommend that you flaunt this fact in anyone's face or use it as a way for a guy to submit to your whims.
I'm simply asking all the ladies out there to project a sense of independence. Guys absolutely LOVE it when they can't have a 100% hold on a girl and you have no idea what self-sufficiency can do to their "hunting" instincts.
Men are in it for the thrill of the chase, and knowing that he can't" tame" you is plenty of fuel for his masculine drive to conquer, pursue and achieve. Tapping into this wellspring (using your independent personality) is a great way to get a lot of dates!
# 3: Get a life!
I hope you don't take this the wrong way because all of us obviously *have* lives. It's just that sometimes, pursuing a relationship - or having one - can obscure the importance of having a WELL-BALANCED life.
Even if we are talking about improving your dating life, remember that you have a LOT of other things to be passionate about. And this kind of attitude is what makes a woman more attractive and date-able in a guy's eyes.
When you're dedicated to improving yourself as a whole person, it just makes you more interesting and compelling to know. Jumping into a relationship just so you can have one isn't the right away to go about dating.
For your dating life to flourish, it needs a good, sturdy ground to stand on, namely a happening life filled with stuff you care about and ACTIVELY go after.
For instance, a guy is more likely to be riveted by a girl who has weekly brunches with her family, regularly attends a fitness class and excels at her chosen career. Furthermore, this interesting woman may also have a bunch of other hobbies that open her up to opportunities to meet other similarly appealing people!
If you simply lived out the other parts of your life EQUALLY, chances are that this lucky guy will be dying to be part of your awesome life!
And the great thing about this is that you aren't actively seeking a man's validation or approval; living as a driven woman NATURALLY does that for you.
So my advice for you is to get involved in the other things that interest you ASIDE from cute guys. In the end, we have ourselves to look after anyway, regardless of whether we're single or not.
All in all, the way you treat yourself is a like a big, fat neon sign that tells the world how they should treat YOU. That's why the way we handle ourselves, be it in terms of looks, self-sufficiency or lifestyle, is a reflection of what kind of women we are.
And when you send the right kind of message to guys out there, you can be sure that these quality men are going to pick up on your signal!
Who Else Is Sick Of Dating Time Wasting Jerks?
If you've ever wished that you had the kind of guy who makes all your friends jealous...
...The kind of guy who is funny, smart, good looking, yet also has a lot of time for you, and wants to be with you forever...
Then you MUST watch this short video I recorded for you right here:
In this short video, you'll hear about the personal transformation that lead her to meeting the man of her dreams and how to make it happen to you.
You'll also find out the 3 principles that will lead you to being the kind of woman that men lust after (and see as a 'keeper')
Take the game-playing out of dating, stop wasting your time on jerks, players, rude humorists, and guy who only act like they uninterested in you when you KNOW they are...