When I set out to understand women my agenda was clear – to get more of them attracted to me.
Some of the goals were short-term… Like getting laid or something more “politically correct”, enjoying and having more realistic options for casual sex.
To be more “liked” by women sexually even if I wasn’t attracted to them. In other words, I wanted ALL women to boost the confident part of my masculinity because maybe, just maybe I believed they were the ones who destroyed it in the first place.
I wanted the women I dreamed of to become a reality.
The problem was – The guy I wanted to be was exactly the person I always avoided being.
Based on my observations, interpretation, and direct experiences with women – The guys who got all the girls (the ones I was most attracted to) kind of acted like jerks.
They were the studs. They always had something I didn’t. Like a better car, job, money, height, friends, etc…
But they were also the players, the bad boys, the misunderstood, or the cool guys all the other girls wanted anyways.
So I fought it off. How could I compete with that without turning myself into a guy I fought so hard to be different from.
Actually, the reality of what was really happening, something I learned in my shallow beginnings of understanding women – was that I just didn’t understand how attraction worked for women.
I found out I could attract women by doing some of those things they did by letting myself become more like them, so I still had a choice, but it wasn’t necessary.
The new goal of understanding women became to learn everything new and old on how attraction works for women.
And let me tell you the results were almost IMMEDIATE.
Things then began to change as my goals shifted more long-term – like getting a girlfriend, maybe settling down, or just something more stable, beyond just the intimacies of short interactions and casual sex…
Understanding women became FINDING the right woman for me.
Now… if you’re on my newsletter you might have just read about two types of guys and how each of us fall into one of those categories. How we may move from one to the next and how some of us will dabble on one side but get sucked back to our original place.
From there you can see how I moved from one side to the other and if you consider what was written above – the answers to understanding women or the goals or what it all means seems to change based on many different things.
This is also why I wrote you in my letter:
“You and I have a problem. Not necessarily a really bad problem. Just a way in which we see the world…
We project how we feel about ourselves and, based on our experiences from our past, we attempt to predict the future.“
- How you feel about yourself can show you your immediate goal in understanding men.
- Your past experiences with men can show you (in part) your long-term goals in understanding men.
- Predicting the future more accurately (making better choices, attracting better men, enjoying more stable happier relationships) becomes the very same thing I realized… Except for you it’s…
UNDERSTANDING HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR MEN from the very first sight to a long-term commitment and the different emotional stages all men go through when they meet you.
Just something to think about… 😀
For now I propped some questions to you in my newsletter, you can voice your opinions or answers below:
What does it mean (in general) to understand men? Perhaps making better predictions to avoid being hurt again? Perhaps making better predictions so we don’t miss out on something or someone?
What does understanding men mean to YOU? Does it validate how you feel about yourself whether it’s currently negative or positive?
Why do you want to understand men better and how will the answers help make your life better or happier?