Toxic is often a word thrown around in the dating & relationship field.
It simply means some men are just bad for you.
Here’s what to look out for: Call them signs, signals, clues, actions, reactions, whatever works for you…
10 signs men often display which will act as a clear warning to you.
After… it’s your choice. Do you want to get involved with him or not?
Keep in mind these are also very clear signs of a guy who will rarely (if ever) commit to you and if he does, it will not be for the right reasons. It won’t be you want it to be.
Let’s get started… 10 types of men.
1. He is constantly asking if you like him.
This is normally a sign of low confidence or very little self-esteem.
“Do you like me?” as you might already know is never something a real guy will ask you.
In fact we train guys who do this to do the exact opposite and in a funny way accuse you of liking him, “You like Me. How cute. 🙂 “
If a guy, in any way shape or form is asking you if you like him, his commitment to you will be generally based on your commitment to him.
Expect jealousy and early fights about the other men in your life. Past, present, and future.
Typically this type of guy is also very passive aggressive.
He’s also a little different from guy #2…
2. He is always questioning your attraction to him.
More low esteem and very little belief in himself.
Similar to number one with a few exceptions – he’s more pro-active. He’s not asking you if you like him or why, his actions are based on the fact that he can not understand WHY you would like him.
Normally this guy doesn’t understand women and believe women are only into looks, money, or status. Although there’s a big variance here.
He will never “feel worthy” of you. He might even cheat on you because of it. He will (more than likely) drive you crazy by eventually becoming overly needy IF he’s not like that from the beginning.
Sometimes he will even sabotage a good thing with you when everything appears to be perfect.
This type of guy rarely commits and will have lots of excuses to back up his cause of avoiding relationships.
3. He promises you way too much way too early in the dating stage.
Typical player or dreamer who rarely follows through with anything.
He ALWAYS finds a way to back out months down the road when it’s too late and you’re already hooked on him.
It’s okay to role play and it can be a lots of fun, but when it’s taken too serious this type of guy normally has trouble sticking to his promises.
Worst case scenario – he’s a player who uses things he can’t possibly give you in exchange for early sex.
Which only leaves you to come to jerks like me to explain what happened or what went wrong. 😀
A real man should never have to promise you anything in the beginning and he knows it.
4. He is confusing romance with attraction or using romance to create attraction.
This guy doesn’t understand women or how to properly seduce you. 😉
He thinks you’ll like him more if he gives you something or does things for you.
He doesn’t understand your feelings and he might not ever “get it”.
Be wary of guys who always want to give and do everything for you with total disregard for themselves or their time.
I know it sounds great, you might even like it for a while, but sooner or later it turns to bartering your emotions for his happiness AND he might not ever understand what your love to him really means.
Chances are you’ll end up fighting about this a lot, “But after all I’ve done for you…!”
5. The guy who wants, expects, or acts like it’s an instant relationship.
He’s afraid of being alone. Perhaps afraid or refuses to take the lead.
Scared of his own personal freedom and he’ll expect the same from you… by demanding you always be there for him.
Instant relationship guy might not appreciate you enough because he refuses to experience other things first.
He goes from relationship to relationship and tends to skip over many of the really good parts of casually dating.
This goes for you too:
If you’re not happy by yourself, chances are someone else won’t make you happy either.
Yes, it’s true.
Guys who commit too early and all too easily or act like they’re in a relationship with you after a date or two, should be avoided IF you’re looking for a real commitment.
6. He’s telling you he’s not good enough for you.
You hooked up with a guy at work and he breaks it off because he isn’t ready for a relationship. Fling with a Guy At Work and He Breaks it Off
This guy rarely if ever commits for real.
Similar to number 2 except instead of not believing in himself, this guy just thinks he’s bad or uses it as an excuse to avoid committing to women OR to play women.
He thinks he’s a bad person and by you liking him, tends to believe you’ll only get hurt and he WILL use that excuse to prolong the dating phase indefinitely. (Or as a means to break up with you every three months and screw someone else.)
It’s an excuse. It’s a ploy. It’s passive aggressive and it’s an avoidance to take charge and quite possibly get over his past.
Where all this could leave you is constantly trying to reassure someone how you feel about them and frustrating you because he never seems to believe you.
And if you’re with a guy who never believes you and thinks you’re settling with him because he’s not good enough… three will be problems riddled with major fights and very little communication.
7. Playing the “Poor poor me.” routine.
If you’ve ever wondered if a guy is playing you then read this before you decide for sure. Guys Who Do Play Games – Are ALL Men Are Playing You?
Normally he’s a player whether he knows it or not.
The difference between number 6 and number 7 is is that this guy IS a player.
He plays on your empathy to get what he wants which is normally string free and unattached sex or some form of intimacy up to and including a blow job.
He will make you feel sorry for him and use it against you.
He will always be right and make you feel like it was YOUR decision or how it’s all YOUR fault.
If a guys life revolves around a constant “pity party” for himself, chances are he’s either using it to get laid OR is incapable of allowing someone to love him and falls into number 6.
He will also use other women in his life to prove his point with you.
8. He’s already complaining or talking about failed relationships or the one that got away OR the one girl who hurt him the most.
I have know several men to use this excuse or reason to never commit and still enjoy relationship free sex. He’s not rejecting you… it’s HIM. Similar to number 7 above BUT…
He might actually be living in the past and feels deserving of something more.
If you don’t offer that to him he’ll resent it.
He’ll expect too much from you.
Guys who feel like they deserve more without making a real effort to move on or be honest with themselves will also find it difficult to be totally honest with you.
Chances are he’s still in love with another woman that he can never have and where will that leave you?
Be wary of the “relationship complainers” and at any time within a first or second date you start to hear it – trust it will only continue.
9. He’s not seeing other women or knows other women or can’t have a real casual relationship/friendship with the opposite sex.
Probably socially dysfunctional or hates people, which I suppose is common among men and women but with this guy….
There’s a strong possibility he resents women.
His problem with fitting in the world might mean he’ll expect you to give up everything or your social life for him and if you don’t, he will become sad and lonely and more depressed until you feel as miserable as he does.
Good or REAL guys have no problems with having some women as friends. They might not seek it out but they also doesn’t base their friendships on looks.
Our closest friends and the people we keep in our lives which go beyond family can reveal so much about our nature, our character AND just how needy we might become.
I know it’s counter-intuitive and for some of you feels weird or goes against your belief, but it’s better for you and a future relationship if the guy you agree to date is:
- Dating at least one other women or has a dating life.
- Has one or more friends who are women.
- Can function socially and doesn’t have a general disgust for “other” people.
10. Everything he does or says seems to lead to sex. Wanting it, getting it, etc…
Look out for subtle clues for this one because it’s not always so obvious.
He’s attracted to you but does NOT want anything more.
He’s not half bad as long as you know this is what he wants and nothing more. Use it if you need (or want it) – just don’t expect him to want a committed relationship with you.
Assume he’s also doing it with other women.
This includes guys who only contact you when they’re buzzed, drunk, late night texting only, rarely ever calls, sending or asking for naked pictures, and so on.
Guys who want a relationship with you rarely act this way because they will look for more from you other than your ability to please them sexually.
It may go without saying, you might already know this BUT I’ve found way too many women who get caught up in trying to turn it into something else.
Like when you’re laying in bed together or talking intimately and sharing secrets it begins to feel like he’s falling for you or something more can happen because he’s opening up but take it from a guy…
We have an amazing ability to separate sex and commitment and love.
Don’t worry, there are plenty of guys out there who are not on that list and now that you know what signals to look out for, you’ll be that much better equipped to make better decisions for yourself.
This list was NOT created to bash on men. Merely to inform you.
How you use the information is entirely up to you.