You know what’s funny?
Here I am crashing on my couch after a tiring few weeks and I’m dying to get a story to you.
I start my dinner and while I’m doing it my mind tries to come up with something. Anything.
As I pull down the blinds it occurs to me…
The story I’m trying to think of has to be “bad” and so I start laughing.
Bad in the sense of something stupid I’ve done that just in case you find yourself in a similar situation, you can guess what’s really going on.
Okay – so here’s something bad which you might have guessed from the title…
The truth is – I actually used to be a man-hater.
Not all guys.
Just the one who got the girls I wanted the most. 😀
I would literally fight myself trying to reason it out.
I tried to see the good in “him” but if he showed just one sign of being a jerk – he was done for.
Forever labeled a player. A stud. Someone I could never be!
Or how she’s only into him because he’s tall, rich, good-looking or even worse all three.
If his personality was cool – I’d let him slide. 😀 But very grudgingly.
Again, one ounce of anything less than total chivalry and I’d forever sneer at their relationship.
It kind of made me feel like an inferior male and I know lots of guy who feel or have felt the same way.
Mind you, and this is very important information about most men…
If I wasn’t interested in her (attracted) I shrugged it off and never paid any attention to their relationship at all.
A man’s jealousy is often wrapped up in his own self-image of what it means to be a guy.
And you’ll notice when our esteem is at risk we tend to push it down because:
- Letting it out means we’re admitting our guy parts just don’t seem to be working.
- We feel like it’s all “beyond our control” anyways and talking about it is not going to change a thing.
- Changing a piece of ourselves to become more like “them” is against the rules we put in place so we can continue to blame our failures on women and the men they choose.
All this is typically passive.
Meaning most guys won’t act on all this negativity. Eventually it’s accepted as just the way things are and rarely does it lead to acts of rage or pure anger.
Remember, with so many men believing women only fall for jerks the last thing we want to happen is to become one of them ourselves.
So is there a lesson to be learned here?
Can all this “secret” guy stuff help you?
Well I believe it can because, from above, it becomes all too clear how much men rely on their self-esteem, the self-image of themselves, and how when threatened can cause even the hardiest man to bottle up everything.
It’s not the simple fact men push down their emotions because we’re afraid of being “less than a guy” but the more important issue of how it can help you open up any guy.
The trick is, when you’re looking to get a guy to really talk to you – is to make sure you’re not threatening his “manhood” AND you’re not asking him to “be” like those “other” guys.
It’s not that easy. I understand. It’s not so simple either.
That I definitely understand.
For now trust what I’ve shared with you today will help you see men from a different angle.
A perspective very few women get to see and that means – when you notice a certain guy is acting in a way which is confusing you, well, in your own very unique and clever way – develop a very special way to communicate to him.
Remember. When you can make a man feel anything he shares with you is strictly between the two of you – he’ll be more likely to open up so much more.
He’ll begin to realize just because he’s sharing does NOT make him any less than a man to you.
And that it actually makes you feel more attracted to him.
Within reason of course.
Too much, too early, is not always the best thing for men (and women) to do.
That about wraps it up today and until next time,
Have a wonderful day.
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