Did I scare you in my last letter?
Hope not. 🙂
It was about how understanding men comes with a catch and if you learn specific mysteries you could destroy your desire or attraction for him?
“The catch being when the mystery is gone so might the desires or attraction you felt for that very same guy you set out to understand.”
Sounds awful to me!
But remember, when I set out to learn about women I actually became more attracted to them.
I also became more attracted to the power of it too. But perhaps more about that later. 😀
We’re all built with some pre-wired responses. You’ll often hear them called “triggers.”
They are gut-level reactions based on hormones to help us “find the better mate.”
A Man’s triggers are different from a woman’s triggers but they do share some.
Here’s the cool part.
If a guy triggers those responses in you which will cause you to become more aware than before, this is where you start to wonder or think about him and the what and why he is doing things…
Technically you have no control over those emotions caused by that chemical reaction he (created) in you.
Obviously you have choices and will make decisions one way or another based on what you’re feeling.
BUT as far as destroying the mystery, or the catch in understanding men…
“Technically” it’s not going away just because you asked a question and got the answer you were either looking for, or decided was better than what your intuition was telling you.
Here’s my reasoning behind all this.
Anything I tell you about a guy or why he’s doing something will never destroy or change the way you feel about him or the situation you’re in.
But with better awareness your decisions can be more informed.
That is part of the real power behind understanding men.
On the other side:
A guy can lesser your attraction by eliminating most triggers and becoming very predictable, too comfortable, compliant, and eventually complacent.
You either become numb with him or borderline uncaring. No matter what he does seems to fully affect your mood or emotions on any level.
Only he can do that. I can not by simply helping you to understand men in general.
The scary part really is often one question you have leads to another deeper question which in turn leads you away from the event which started it all. Whether it was being curious or a full-blown attraction or “crush.”
So… A man can show you the answers you’re looking for and that’s usually when the catch takes place.
It’s a lot like finding yourself attracted to a guy because he’s cute, funny, and listens to you but after a few dates you start thinking if he asks you one more time, “How ya doing?” or “Everything okay?” you’re going to explode.
In that case and ones similar to it:
–> You want a guy who hears you.
–> This cute funny guy is suddenly paying attention you!
–> You ask, “Is he interested in me because he’s doing…?”
–> He asks you out and you slowly realize all he is, is interested in you! It’s like he doesn’t have a life of his own.
–> The flames are quickly disappearing and sure he’s cute, yeah he makes you laugh, but for some reason you’re just not feeling it anymore and maybe you don’t know why.
So you asked the question and he showed you the answer which in turn destroyed the attraction.
Now if that same man had always gave you way too much attention and you knew for a fact he was interested, despite how cute or funny he was – without the mystery or excitement of not knowing or the questions that kept popping up, you would not have felt attracted to him at all!
This is not scary stuff. Haha! This is good stuff!
To try to prove my point more clearly I want to share a piece of something you’ll get the entire letter to later:
What happens when you find yourself incredibly attracted to a man?
Well, there’s the feeling of chemistry and everything that comes along with it – the obsessive highs that come with wanting to be with him, the joy of feeling incredibly connected, and, what you
may forget, the willful blindness that allows you to overlook his flaws.
That’s one of the most miraculous things about chemistry: it allows you to focus only on the good and ignore all the bad.
Which is why you can have incredible chemistry and end up in a TERRIBLE relationship, where he doesn’t call you, doesn’t sleep with you, doesn’t compliment you, doesn’t make you feel safe, and
doesn’t commit to you.
…Evan Marc Katz – Understand Men – Enjoy a Happy Healthy and Committed Relationship
(that is a redirected link to protect my privacy and will take you to Evan’s presentation)
So you see, in some circumstances when certain things are revealed to you and the attraction is destroyed, well that could easily be a good thing.
More on that later and please have a wonderful day…
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