I used to be a pretty jealous guy. Scratch that… a petty jealous guy.
Most men have some amount of insecurity. We all do.
Mine was low enough to realize that when I filled in those feelings about myself with something greater, suddenly the jealousy began to disappear.
Just not entirely because there was always something stuck deep down which would only surface when I was put in situations I wasn’t used to.
The men who were listening to me intently needed to be warned.
Many of them wanted to learn how to attract a beautiful woman and a large percentage of them never experienced exactly what that would be like.
They imagined it all. They THOUGHT that’s what they wanted. The BELIEVED it would solve all their problems.
Not very fair is it.
First if you don’t feel that attractive it can make you feel like your choice of guys are little to none or even worse now.
Secondly it’s a ton of pressure to put on you to become some guys “problem solver”.
I mean that alone can leave you self-conscious, worried, or deathly afraid to screw up.
Like they were or are leaving everything on YOU!
The warning was this: JEALOUSY.
IF they didn’t pay attention to themselves and get it handled first…
One, they’re going to struggle getting a stable fun woman to want to be with them and Two, the questions they’re going to face and the problems which always appear in any relationship and just how are they going to deal with them like:
- What if other guys are always hitting on her?
- What if she gets bored with you?
- What if you believe she’s only with you temporarily until a better guy comes along?
- Will you revert to your “old unattractive self” and lose her?
- What if you can’t stop the rage when she’s gone or away and you’re not sure what she’s doing?
- How far can you LET her go?
- How much freedom should she have?
Most guys just don’t know the answers BUT they’re willing to risk it all to be with the one woman ( not the most attractive either ) they THINK they want and BELIEVE are going to at least contribute to a happier life.
Including solving common problems guys have which are practically impossible to fulfill from within like: Intimacy, respect, sex, and an outside source of encouragement and support.
So what does the mean to you?
When you “pull” on a mans “jealousy trigger” and aim at so many of the insecurities mentioned today you’re going to learn about any guys inner strength.
How he reacts says a lot about his character and if you look hard enough you’ll know what they mean.
Like the ones who pretend to be okay with it all but inside they’re fighting their feelings.
You can see it. You know when it’s happening.
But hey at least they’re trying, right? 🙂
Sudden outbursts of anger over the little things and you know instinctively what kind of guy you’re dealing with whether you admit that or not.
He’s riddled with self-doubt and doesn’t know how to solve or displace his anger so he uses a relationship to try and fill that void.
But you love him anyways because just maybe he loves YOU so much and this is the only way he knows how to show it.
As sad as that sounds I see it happen way too often.
The “jealousy trigger” can and will and has always been used by women either knowingly or not because it tugs on a part of a guy he can not hide from.
Mo matter what a man says or how he explains it all to you – nothing beats his gut reaction to reveal his true inner-self.
This is bad but there’s also some good from all this.
This “attraction trigger” works for both men and women and both have two different sides.
Yes. There’s the bad side of game-playing and truth searching which can sometimes be helpful and other times destroy a relationship.
But there actually is a good side too.
You see in every man’s life lies a moment of truth or several moments of truths.
A time to decide…
When he realizes without a doubt he wants to be with YOU and not some “other” woman.
I’ve found this trigger works long-term. It doesn’t create attraction. It merely solidifies or reinforces a gut feeling of wanting to be with someone and only that someone.
The is a second stage attraction trigger.
For this to work though – you have to let him go… sort of. You have to date other guys just to see for yourself.
You have to be sure there’s a first stage attraction present.
You should also be confident that you’re not doing things just to make a guy jealous because that’s when you walk on the dark side and are only setting yourself up for a terribly dramatic relationship fueled by insecurity.
I believe this is ( partly ) how this trigger works best:
When a guy is still in first stage attraction mode and he’s allowed to explore AND you’ve become a part of his life in a small but significant way, this is when his choices become clear.
Let’s say I’m dating three different women and I find myself comparing them to each other.
I’m deep into it all and it becomes very hard to see the bigger picture.
Well take one of those women away and if I feel I’m missing something very important which I wasn’t even sure but was relying on – then SHE becomes the clear choice.
She becomes the one I’m going to want to commit to.
This doesn’t have to happen unnaturally. This doesn’t have to be pre-planned or forced.
Because that’s when it becomes a dirty game – doesn’t it?
The point is not what it seems. You don’t give a man the space you think he needs or he says he wants – you become a small but significant unavoidable part of his life and you actually allow him to realize those “other” women…
Well he can live without them.
YOU however, when you’re just living your life on your own terms and exploring passions besides men and dating and him, this little trigger makes him clearly see who the right choice is.
Okay. We’ve gone pretty deep here and I’ve gone a little too far because I yet to explore the magnitude of this cleverly worded “jealousy trigger” BUT…
I do hope I’ve revealed just another piece of how men work, where our jealousy comes from, how it can be used for good and bad, and how important it is in the second stage attraction to get the RIGHT guy to commit to you.
Later – as I explore the full application of it – rest assured you’ll be the first to hear about it.
Sound like a good deal?
Thanks for listening today,
Comments are moderated – I can NOT answer all of them – Your opinions are always appreciated – Thank you… Peter White – Don’t forget if you’ve found this page by accident you might not belong here 🙂 Go here -> Why Do Guys…?to receive the full email and all the rest too.