Man or woman, no one actually LIKES to be ignored however, in the case of “driving a man crazy” purposely or not – there’s a problem…
The guy who is being ignored must actually care because withdrawing attention or pulling back from a guy who couldn’t care less, you’re actually doing him a favor.
You won’t be driving him crazy or into your arms, you’re only giving him an out or an easy way to stop communicating with you.
So why are you considering this tactic?
Is it a last-ditch attempt to bring him back?
Is it a revenge tactic to make him feel like you’re feeling?
Is it a way to validate how he feels about you?
Your thought process leading you to think, “If I ignore him and he gives me more attention, then I know he must really like me?”
Making it YOUR internal struggle to validate whether or not he gives a shit or not.
In another words it’s being used to illicit a response and you’re hoping it’s a positive statement that he DOES care or a negative affirmation that he doesn’t care about you at all.
Men ignore women for lots of reasons.
ALL of which are covered in my free online Ebook, “Silent Guys – Why Men Go Quiet, Won’t Share Feelings, or Ignore Women”
- A breakdown in communication.
- Being in different modes – dating or relationship.
- Projections in dating or misreading what is happening.
- He’s self-centered or narcissistic.
- You’re pushing him or men away.
- Evolutionary reasons. Silence equals safety.
Knowing the six main reasons this happens – you can easily see that in each case – you ignoring him back will have a slightly different effect on him.
If it’s a breakdown in communication you’re only making the problem worse.
This assumes you’re already is some form or relationship with him and fixing the issue requires anything BUT silence.
If it’s being in a different mode – meaning you’re acting like you’re in a relationships with him and he only sees it as casual dating, which implies he’ll pull away for longer periods of time with no contact at all; it won’t piss him off because he’ll assume you’re on the same page as him.
In can have a positive effect though because by you giving him the right amount of space – you’re giving him all the opportunity and time to fully decide where he wants to go with you and how far WHEN he feels he’s ready or not.
If it’s a projection or you’re misreading what is happening then if he feels like you’re ignoring him on purpose (and he’s not doing it to you) then he may believe you’re playing a game with him.
Only pushing him further away because just like you – most real men don’t like it or prefer a woman who is into playing games.
If he’s overly self-centered or narcissistic then several things might happen – good and bad.
Good because by pushing him away you may help yourself to rid this type of man fro your life entirely setting you up to meet a better man.
Bad because you could draw him back in causing him to chase you a little – which might be fun for a while – but as above – letting a man like this back in your life or inviting him by playing or teasing his Ego could have you in a relationship with him.
More bad because once he’s drawn back in and his Ego is fed – the challenge disappears and so will he until it all happens again or he finds another woman who won’t make him the center of attention.
If by chance – you just happen to push too many “good” men away AND your tactic is to ignore a guy because you think he’s doing it to you (whether he is or not makes no difference for arguments sake) lots of are happening BUT the main one is… think about it…
You’re not ignoring him – you’re actually PUSHING another guy away, right?
If you’re being forgotten or feel like his attention is diminishing or is ignoring you when it’s just him being a guy (evolutionary speaking) then will it drive him crazy – or into your arms – or whatever your end-game is with him?
Tough one to answer making it a random thing solely depending on the type of guy you’re involved or not involved with. For some – yes it could work out. For others – nope – won’t do a thing.
There’s no definitive answer there which will guarantee you’ll get out of him what you’re looking to achieve.
Making it a futile attempt which will only waste your time and energy.
The strange part is – a guy can ignore a woman purposely or by accident or by being too busy and wrapped up in his own affairs to notice the things around them.
Above are the common reasons why men go silent and the effect ignoring him might have depending on the situation BUT there’s more which will ALWAYS come down to the TYPE of guy you’re contacting or choosing to ignore.
A certain type of guy can and will ignore a woman because he’s trying not to appear needy or desperate.
“The more approval seeking the guy, the more attention he needs, the more he’ll absolutely hate being ignored while a man on the other end might not care as much or at all.”
For him – it’s merely a way to keep his attraction in check.
He’s trying to NOT scare you away like he did with all the rest because he actually likes you THAT much.
Good or bad for your end remains to be seen but from a man’s perspective who teaches guy about women – sometimes it’s a necessary stage for him to go through in order to release his desperate need for attention.
Either way – you must admit giving you more attention that you want will eventually push YOU away. So some balance here is very important for both of you.
This guy – it may go without saying BUT, if you ignore him back you more than likely going to amp up his attraction AND drive him crazy.
Two things which rarely go well together for the less than stable man.
You could easily turn a guy who’s just “trying” to not push you away into a guy who WILL push you away.
Either way – probably NOT a good outcome.
“Early on, the women I wanted to most I ignored. Not because I was playing a game but…”
A guy can ignore a woman by accident.
Yes, it does happen.
He might not feel, believe, or even consider the fact that he’s been ignoring you.
So… ignoring him might work unless there’s a reason you’re being forgotten which is not a good one – like because he’s seeing other women or chasing another woman. In that case – as above – you’re just giving him an easy out.
But if it’s not that reason AND he doesn’t realize or isn’t paying enough attention to know he’s doing this to you…
Several things can and WILL happen.
One – by ignoring him back you’re not sending the right message which will only hinder or completely stop any open lines of communication between you and him.
Two – he’ll become confused and feel like he doesn’t understand you which, if you know men like I do, only leads to him thinking YOU don’t understand HIM – which can easily push him further away than he was when he was unaware that he was ignoring you.
If you at all suspect that he’s unaware of what is happening then an honest open approach with productive communication skills will ALWAYS prove more positive.
A guy can also ignore a woman because he’s so self-involved to see what is going on around him.
This falls under the self-involved man and as explained above – ignoring him might be good but this TYPE of guy might not fall entirely into that category.
He’s always wrapped up in his own world, maybe a little selfish, maybe a little determined to find his way, or yes, it pains me to say it but not really socially inept enough to notice he “appears” to be ignoring the people around him.
No matter how it happens his focus never seems to be in the right place at the right time.
It’s narrowed to one thing at one time and if you’re not in his cross-hairs it can feel very personal.
Like he’s doing it to you on purpose.
Ignoring a guy like this won’t drive him crazy because he won’t even notice it’s even happening.
It becomes a waste of your valuable time.
This man-type is unfortunately a little too unaware of his circumstance BUT he’s not so self-centered – just again – not socially adapted to normal interactions between men and women or people in general.
Ignoring him doesn’t help him and it certainly doesn’t help you.
Now that you’ve seen the problems and sometimes possible solutions to ignoring a guy and the right questions to ask yourself about why you’re considering doing the same thing to him… or what it might do to him or how it might make him feel…
Are you still considering ignoring him?
Are you still wondering if it will drive him crazy or not?
Are you still curious to found out if it’ll drive a man back in your arms when you feel like you’ve lost him?
Ignoring a person, whether you feel they deserve or not is a passive-aggressive stance.
And in doing so rarely ever, if that, leads to a positive definite conclusion to the person doing it or the person receiving it.
It’s not a valid form of communication.
Sure, once in a while it could reveal some information depending on how the person responds BUT it will only ever get a response from being passive-aggressive.
My advice today is to please make sure you read the Ebook above. It’s free and will definitely help you understand men as it relates to being ignored and lots of other god stuff too.
Take a moment to think about this problem, why it brought you here, the real solution you’re looking for – and hopefully through today’s post you’ll have a clearer picture of what is going on and how you can now proceed with finding your own personal answer.
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Lastly… if you’re looking to open up a guy or you feel he’s silent or ignoring you and you wish he’d communicate better to you – there’s always a way depending on the nature of your relationship BUT it ALWAYS starts with COMMUNICATION and is rarely ever solved through passive-aggressive behavior.