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Will It Drive Him Crazy If You Ignore Him? The Problem of Ignoring Men

in Game Playing, The Disappearing Man
Silence Man Ignore Woman Why Drive Crazy

Man or woman, no one actually LIKES to be ignored however, in the case of “driving a man crazy” purposely or not – there’s a problem…

The guy who is being ignored must actually care because withdrawing attention or pulling back from a guy who couldn’t care less, you’re actually doing him a favor.

You won’t be driving him crazy or into your arms, you’re only giving him an out or an easy way to stop communicating with you.

So why are you considering this tactic?

Is it a last-ditch attempt to bring him back?

Is it a revenge tactic to make him feel like you’re feeling?

Is it a way to validate how he feels about you?

Your thought process leading you to think, “If I ignore him and he gives me more attention, then I know he must really like me?”

Making it YOUR internal struggle to validate whether or not he gives a shit or not.

In another words it’s being used to illicit a response and you’re hoping it’s a positive statement that he DOES care or a negative affirmation that he doesn’t care about you at all.

Men ignore women for lots of reasons.

ALL of which are covered in my free online Ebook, “Silent Guys – Why Men Go Quiet, Won’t Share Feelings, or Ignore Women”

They are:

  1. A breakdown in communication.
  2. Being in different modes – dating or relationship.
  3. Projections in dating or misreading what is happening.
  4. He’s self-centered or narcissistic.
  5. You’re pushing him or men away.
  6. Evolutionary reasons. Silence equals safety.

“Silent Guys – Why Men Go Quiet, Won’t Share Feelings, or Ignore Women”

Knowing the six main reasons this happens – you can easily see that in each case – you ignoring him back will have a slightly different effect on him.

If it’s a breakdown in communication you’re only making the problem worse.

This assumes you’re already is some form or relationship with him and fixing the issue requires anything BUT silence.

If it’s being in a different mode – meaning you’re acting like you’re in a relationships with him and he only sees it as casual dating, which implies he’ll pull away for longer periods of time with no contact at all; it won’t piss him off because he’ll assume you’re on the same page as him.

In can have a positive effect though because by you giving him the right amount of space – you’re giving him all the opportunity and time to fully decide where he wants to go with you and how far WHEN he feels he’s ready or not.

If it’s a projection or you’re misreading what is happening then if he feels like you’re ignoring him on purpose (and he’s not doing it to you) then he may believe you’re playing a game with him.

Only pushing him further away because just like you – most real men don’t like it or prefer a woman who is into playing games.

If he’s overly self-centered or narcissistic then several things might happen – good and bad.

Good because by pushing him away you may help yourself to rid this type of man fro your life entirely setting you up to meet a better man.

Bad because you could draw him back in causing him to chase you a little – which might be fun for a while – but as above – letting a man like this back in your life or inviting him by playing or teasing his Ego could have you in a relationship with him.

More bad because once he’s drawn back in and his Ego is fed – the challenge disappears and so will he until it all happens again or he finds another woman who won’t make him the center of attention.

If by chance – you just happen to push too many “good” men away AND your tactic is to ignore a guy because you think he’s doing it to you (whether he is or not makes no difference for arguments sake) lots of are happening BUT the main one is… think about it…

You’re not ignoring him – you’re actually PUSHING another guy away, right?

If you’re being forgotten or feel like his attention is diminishing  or is ignoring you when it’s just him being a guy (evolutionary speaking) then will it drive him crazy – or into your arms – or whatever your end-game is with him?

Tough one to answer making it a random thing solely depending on the type of guy you’re involved or not involved with. For some – yes it could work out. For others – nope – won’t do a thing.

There’s no definitive answer there which will guarantee you’ll get out of him what you’re looking to achieve.

Making it a futile attempt which will only waste your time and energy.

The strange part is – a guy can ignore a woman purposely or by accident or by being too busy and wrapped up in his own affairs to notice the things around them.

Above are the common reasons why men go silent and the effect ignoring him might have depending on the situation BUT there’s more which will ALWAYS come down to the TYPE of guy you’re contacting or choosing to ignore.

A certain type of guy can and will ignore a woman because he’s trying not to appear needy or desperate.

“The more approval seeking the guy, the more attention he needs, the more he’ll absolutely hate being ignored while a man on the other end might not care as much or at all.”

Why Do (some) Guys Hate Being Ignored?

For him – it’s merely a way to keep his attraction in check.

He’s trying to NOT scare you away like he did with all the rest because he actually likes you THAT much.

Good or bad for your end remains to be seen but from a man’s perspective who teaches guy about women – sometimes it’s a necessary stage for him to go through in order to release his desperate need for attention.

Either way – you must admit giving you more attention that you want will eventually push YOU away. So some balance here is very important for both of you.

This guy – it may go without saying BUT, if you ignore him back you more than likely going to amp up his attraction AND drive him crazy.

Two things which rarely go well together for the less than stable man.

You could easily turn a guy who’s just “trying” to not push you away into a guy who WILL push you away.

Either way – probably NOT a good outcome.

“Early on, the women I wanted to most I ignored. Not because I was playing a game but…”

What To Do When You Think A Guy Is Ignoring You and If He’s Playing A Game

A guy can ignore a woman by accident.

Yes, it does happen.

He might not feel, believe, or even consider the fact that he’s been ignoring you.

So… ignoring him might work unless there’s a reason you’re being forgotten which is not a good one – like because he’s seeing other women or chasing another woman. In that case – as above – you’re just giving him an easy out.

But if it’s not that reason AND he doesn’t realize or isn’t paying enough attention to know he’s doing this to you…

Several things can and WILL happen.

One – by ignoring him back you’re not sending the right message which will only hinder or completely stop any open lines of communication between you and him.

Two – he’ll become confused and feel like he doesn’t understand you which, if you know men like I do, only leads to him thinking YOU don’t understand HIM – which can easily push him further away than he was when he was unaware that he was ignoring you.

If you at all suspect that he’s unaware of what is happening then an honest open approach with productive communication skills will ALWAYS prove more positive.

A guy can also ignore a woman because he’s so self-involved to see what is going on around him.

This falls under the self-involved man and as explained above – ignoring him might be good but this TYPE of guy might not fall entirely into that category.

He’s always wrapped up in his own world, maybe a little selfish, maybe a little determined to find his way, or yes, it pains me to say it but not really socially inept enough to notice he “appears” to be ignoring the people around him.

No matter how it happens his focus never seems to be in the right place at the right time.

It’s narrowed to one thing at one time and if you’re not in his cross-hairs it can feel very personal.

Like he’s doing it to you on purpose.

Ignoring a guy like this won’t drive him crazy because he won’t even notice it’s even happening.

It becomes a waste of your valuable time.

This man-type is unfortunately a little too unaware of his circumstance BUT he’s not so self-centered – just again – not socially adapted to normal interactions between men and women or people in general.

Ignoring him doesn’t help him and it certainly doesn’t help you.

Okay…

Now that you’ve seen the problems and sometimes possible solutions to ignoring a guy and the right questions to ask yourself about why you’re considering doing the same thing to him… or what it might do to him or how it might make him feel…

Are you still considering ignoring him?

Are you still wondering if it will drive him crazy or not?

Are you still curious to found out if it’ll drive a man back in your arms when you feel like you’ve lost him?

Consider this:

Ignoring a person, whether you feel they deserve or not is a passive-aggressive stance.

And in doing so rarely ever, if that, leads to a positive definite conclusion to the person doing it or the person receiving it.

It’s not a valid form of communication.

Sure, once in a while it could reveal some information depending on how the person responds BUT it will only ever get a response from being passive-aggressive.

My advice today is to please make sure you read the Ebook above. It’s free and will definitely help you understand men as it relates to being ignored and lots of other god stuff too.

Take a moment to think about this problem, why it brought you here, the real solution you’re looking for – and hopefully through today’s post you’ll have a clearer picture of what is  going on and how you can now proceed with finding your own personal answer.

Please make sure you sign up below – the newsletter is ALL about understanding men whether you’re single, in a relationship, or currently dating a guy.

Lastly… if you’re looking to open up a guy or you feel he’s silent or ignoring you and you wish he’d communicate better to you – there’s always a way depending on the nature of your relationship BUT it ALWAYS starts with COMMUNICATION and is rarely ever solved through passive-aggressive behavior.

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About the author: Peter White… Showing men and women ways to attract each other naturally by helping you to understand each other. Over ten years experience which has shown me how to see things clearly and get to the root cause of most dating and relationships problems. Hope you learn and enjoy your why do guys experience.

Sign up for your free copy of my 80 page book.

“The Silent Man – Why men go silent, ignore you, or fail to share their feelings.”

  • The 6 main reasons men will go silent and ignore you. Once you know these you’ll never have to ask why is he not talking to you ever again.
  • 49 personal situations that reveal a guy’s point of view about why he has stopped contacting you.
  • You’ll found out if it’s HIM or YOU so you’ll know exactly what to do next to open him up.
  • Change how you see men, how they see you, & how your communication differences might be stopping you from connecting to men.

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24 comments… add one
  • Kiwi

    Hi Peter,
    I am currently in a situation where I have literally fallen head over heals for a guy who might have friemdzoned me.
    He never texts me first, or whenever he does, its looks as if he doesn’t want to,but he still did.
    Soemtimes, he’ll act super cute and sweet, making me smile at my phone screen.
    We have met eqch other and are pretty good friends too.
    He gives me mized signals and I am really really scared that if I confess to him, he’s going to say No and I’m going to cry.
    what should I do ? He changing his place soon,then he’ll be in a different state.

    • Peter White

      Don’t confess. Don’t do anything. If he wants it (you) bad enough, it’s up to him to move forward or else it won’t mean as much to him.

      However – if you feel like he’s friends zoned you and he’s not making an effort AND he’s moving away – I’m sorry to say it doesn’t sound like you’ll ever be together.

      Learn from this experience and seek out new and exciting experiences which are more clear to you.

      Best of luck,
      Pete

  • Whitney

    Hello Pete,
    I been getting the ignore card from a guy I found a connection. He’s twenty four and I’m twenty seven. He’s my instructor for kickboxing.I known him for nine months. We talk about life and have deep conversations. I got so comfortable and trusting him I told him about a guy I met. Then, I ask him what’s his type/preference. He told me(I didn’t fit the category) he likes thick women. I’m slim. I liked the fact that we can talk to one another about that. We hugged a couple of times when we have our one on one talks.

    Then, next period of class, he was really short with me. He barely made eye contact with me. I’m assume he was moody. I didn’t stay back to talk with him. Next time of class, he ignored the whole class. He looks, but doesn’t say anything. I noticed there was a female in the classroom that I have my suspicion on being his girlfriend. I did get a chance to talk to her. She’s thirty three. I noticed when she was around he didn’t say nothing to me. I felt hurt by his action. I was so hurt i had to vent to a friend about him being shady.

    The other class times he just flat out ignore me. When I first arrive to class, I say hi. He had his back turn and say hello. I was getting exhausted on playing his games. Part of me wanted to talk to him but something told me to wait for him to talk. It never happened. I got to a point with is hi, thank you and take care.

    What gets me he looks at me like he wants to talk but doesn’t say or do anything.

    Was it something I say that made him give me the ignoring act? Do I have to just ask if something is wrong? What do you think Pete?

    Whitney

    • Peter White

      First Whitney, if he does have a girlfriend, why bother. Move on. So… this guy ignored you or whatever – it’s not a big deal. Worst things have happened and just because one guy isn’t responding the way you want, should not cause you to stop and go searching for an answer which will probably not mean anything in the end anyways.

      Secondly – it sounds like you both reached a point where he felt like you were propositioning him. Like you were hinting you wanted to be asked out and it kind of scared him away because he’s not interesting in that with you. Hey it happens – even the best fail once in a while. Point is, now it feels awkward to him and he’s avoiding you because of that and obviously if that’s the case AND he has a girlfriend there or anywhere – I would expect he’ll avoid you even more.

      I wouldn’t ask him what’s wrong. That won’t solve anything and if I’m right, will make the situation even worse.

      He, it happened. No need to spend too much time thinking about it or some guy.

      All the best,
      Pete

  • HI PETE
    2 THINGS FIRST HE LIED ABOUT TEXTING ANOTHER WOMAN. SHE WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND AT THE BEGIN OF SUMMER. IT ENDED. WE STARTING DATING HE WANT ME NOT TO DATE OTHER MEN AND HIM AS WELL NO WOMEN. FOCUS ON EACH OTHER SEE WHERE IT GOES. OK 1 WEEK THEN A TEXT COMES ACROSS HIS COMPUTER SCREEN I SEE IT AND HE THINKS IT DIDNT. NEXT MORNING I CHECKED YEP. SHE TEXT SHE WAS HORNEY AND WAS PULLING OUT HER VIBRATOR. HE TEXTED HEHEHE THEN SHE SAID I WANT TO FUCK YOU SO BAD. HE TEXTED THUMBS UP. I CLOSED THE PHONE HE WENT TO WORK I LEFT TOOK MY STUFF. TEXT HIM I WANTED HONESTY AND MONOGAMY. HE SAID HE WAS TO0. I TOLD HIM I SAY HIS PHONE MESSAGE HE DID BELIEVE ME. SCREEN SHOT THE MESSAGE BUT NOT REALIZING I HAD ALREADY SEEN IT. I NOTICED THE SEX TALK HAD BEEN DELETED. SHE HAD ENDED THE TEXT WITH: WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH? OH WELL IT DOES MATTER ANY HOW.

    I LET HIM CHILL FOR A FEW DAYS THEN ASKED IF HE WANTED TO WATCH THE GAME ON FRIDAY, OH GOING TO BE WITH MY BROTHER, THEN MY DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY ON SAT, SO HOW ABOUT SUNDAY I DONT HAVE TO WORK AND YOUR OFF.? I DIDNT SEE THE TEXT. HE JUMPED ON WELL WHAT ABOUT SUNDAY???? ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A DATE?
    SUNDAY CAME AND HE FLAKED. OH YOU GOING TO BE PISSED AT. ME IM WITH MY BROTHER AND I’M WAITING FOR MY DAUGHTER TO SHOW UP SHE WANTS TO SHE HIM SINCE HIS SURGERY. HOW WAS WORK?
    I TEXT BACK: Work was fantastic, slammed but $$$ Cant talk jumping into the shower birthday stuff (my birthday last wk) I might be around later next week give me a call and let me know what you were thinking.
    TTYL.
    WELL HE HASNT STOPPED TEXTING ITS BEEN 24 HOURS AND HE’S TEXT STUFF LIKE;
    K, Whatever that means…. 5:50pm
    NT: And looks like you had plans anyway.5:59pm
    NT: Was actually on my way there.6:09pm
    NT: Happy happy 9:42pm
    NEXT DAY;
    NT: Hope you had a good day 4:13pm
    NT: I do get it but I also don’t get it 5:09pm
    NT: I’ll take on guess, Back with whomever took you to Flemmings 7:11pm
    NT: Make sure you check his phone 7:11pm
    NT: Thats cool 7:11pm

    I like him but I’ve lost trust, I know he as abandonment issues. because the first time we made love he had an issue and then asked if I was going to break up with him not being able to sex.

    so why the other women? Why flake on me, then repeatedly text when I haven’t text you back.

    we made a deal not to see others and he seams to be wondering if im cheating but….. he’s keeping some fat scank bitch waiting at bay if it doesn’t work out with us????

    how long do I make him wait. if he cared he would call or show up wouldn’t you think Pete?

    Patiently waiting
    Debra

    • Peter White

      Debra – I’m not going to get into all the other stuff with you because honestly none of it matters.

      Here is what does matter:

      He wanted to be exclusive with you. He didn’t want you to see other and he said he doesn’t want any other women in his life.

      He refused to remove those women from his life and tried to hide it from you – which is called CHEATING.

      He’s already lied, cheated, and couldn’t hold his end of actually committing to you.

      Do you need to know more?

      Listen, his abandonment issues have NOTHING to do with you. That’s his life and something he needs to work on especially if he can’t commit fully to a woman because of it or for whatever his reasons are.

      When he’s ready and capable of fixing himself first then and only then will he be fully ready for a relationship with another person.

      How long you should make him wait doesn’t really fit in here. Be done with him – entirely. Find a man who doesn’t act this way before you end up getting even more hurt.

      Sure it’s “easy” for me to say – I’m not going through it. BUT I’m also not going through it or anything like this because I refuse to accept people in my life who act this way. Not a relationship and probably not as a friend also.

      You should also not accept this type of behavior.

      It’s best to say your goodbyes and let him work on his own stuff.

      All the best,

      Pete

  • Jennifer

    Hi Peter, I am hoping that you might be able to give me an opinion from a guy’s point of view.

    I started dating a guy in July 2018.. this is a long-distance thing as he lives in Paris and I live in the UK. For the first 3 months he was messaging me on Whatsapp all day from waking to going to sleep. He visited me in England, I visited in Paris, we met up in Germany and London too. Before and after every meeting, his messages made it crystal clear to me that he was excited about seeing me and that he wanted to see me again. Then he got busy (he is a manager and Oct/Nov/Dec is his busiest time). So since the beginning of October he has messaged less and less. I started to feel less connected, told him how I was feeling and he reassured me that it was nothing to do with me. We just met in Spain, he took me to stay at his parents’ flat in Valencia (they were not there). But before and after the trip he did not express excitement at seeing me. While we were there we had an amazing time, seemed like a very loving trip… but I was a little anxious because I am no longer getting from him the reassurance that I obviously need that he is still interested. He shows a lot of affection in person and also I sense in some way he wants me to ask him what he earns, he keeps dropping hints that he earns quite a lot and will buy an apartment in Spain with cash.. so it seems he does want to impress me on some level.

    At the end of the trip I was asking about how we could meet up again, and we figured we won’t see each other now until the new year because he is travelling a lot with work in November and December, is waiting for word on an interview for a job he wants, and also wants to spend New Year’s eve with his family. But I didn’t sense any reassurance that he would like to see me if he weren’t so busy.. he only mentioned “I might get to Eurostar to England for a weekend”. We left Spain and when I was going toward my connecting flight back to the UK, I messaged to say that it was an amazing trip, thank you.. no response! I called when I got back to England, he messaged to say “I am with a friend”.. and nothing else. I really feel like I am being ignored now.

    Perhaps he sensed that I am scared that I may develop feelings that aren’t reciprocated? I do not know how to express this to him. I fear getting a response I do not want to hear, and I fear hearing that he has lost interest. I have already been burned by this already this year. I also fear that my fear will project onto him and come true!!!

    On some level I want to end it so that I do not have to deal with this but I am also trying to fight against my impulsiveness (I am very impulsive) because he is a very nice guy and is always nice to me, makes me feel special.. I used to date before Whatsapp came along and never had any of this anxiety, could Whatsapp be fuelling a low self-esteem in me?? Could it be nothing to do with him?

    Thanks for listening, I hope you can tell me what you see from a guy’s perspective.

    Jennifer

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