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Will It Drive Him Crazy If You Ignore Him? The Problem of Ignoring Men

in Dating, Game Playing
Will It Drive Him Crazy If You Ignore Him? The Problem of Ignoring Men post image

Man or woman, no one actually likes to be ignored.

With a catch though – the person being ignored must actually care because ignoring someone who couldn’t care less is more or less, doing them a favor.

With regards to attraction – it can be seen as a game, a test, or call it a validation.

For example:

“If I ignore him and he does nothing – he must not care.”

“If she’s ignoring me – she must be seeing someone else.”

Crazy as all this seems it becomes an internal struggle to validate whether or not someone gives a shit or not.

It’s used to illicit a response and we’re hoping ( mostly ) it’s a positive statement that someone DOES care.

The strange part is – a guy can ignore a woman purposely or by accident or by being too busy and wrapped up in his own affairs to notice the things around them.

A guy can also ignore a woman because he’s trying not to appear needy or desperate.

The more approval seeking the guy, the more attention he needs, the more he’ll absolutely hate being ignored while a man on the other end might not care as much or at all. Why Do Guys Hate Being Ignored?

For him – it’s merely a way to keep his attraction in check. He’s trying to NOT scare her away like he did with all the rest.

This guy – it may go without saying BUT, if you ignore him back you more than likely going to amp up his attraction AND drive him crazy.

Two things which rarely go well together for the less than stable man.

A guy can ignore a woman by accident.

Yes, it does happen.

Both could be at fault or maybe there’s another woman who is catching his attention more.

Just maybe he’s not feeling it enough to notice you – or some other woman is capturing his attention and doing things which make HER more irresistible.

In other words his attention is diverted – and whether he knows it is happening or not is another thing all together.

Ignoring THIS guy won’t drive him crazy – it will probably push him on to someone else all too easily.

A guy can also ignore a woman because he’s so self-involved to see what is going on around him.

He’s always wrapped up in his own world, maybe a little selfish, maybe a little determined to find his way, or yes, it pains me to say it but not really socially inept enough to notice he “appears” to be ignoring the people around him.

No matter how it happens his focus never seems to be in the right place at the right time.

It’s narrowed to one thing at one time and if you’re not in his cross-hairs it can feel very personal.

Like he’s doing it to you on purpose.

Ignoring a guy like this won’t drive him crazy because he won’t even notice it’s even happening. It becomes a waste of your valuable time.
So where does all this testing or game playing come from?

Early on, the women I wanted to most I ignored. Not because I was playing a game but… What To Do When You Think A Guy Is Ignoring You and If He’s Playing A Game

As stated above – it’s an internal struggle for validation.

If you didn’t care it wouldn’t matter.

We ALL want to be heard when we feel we have something to say or share.

It also depends on the nature of the relationship or our connection to the world around us.

In a relationship it’s important to be heard but it’s probably MORE important we’re being understood.

Therefore the “ignorance” hurts twice. They don’t even understand how much it hurts to be misunderstood while we’re being ignored.

In our connection to the world or people around us – it feels lonely…

No one notices us.

No one cares.

It’s frustrating.

Like we don’t even matter or if we were to disappear off the face of the earth it wouldn’t matter or make a difference.

Therefore the internal struggle continues as we reach out for validation in any way, shape, or form.

From the loud-mouth characters to the game playing attention seekers to the young girl looking to get back at Daddy by dating your lovely host (me) … and the list goes on…

Whereas in attraction something else happens, doesn’t it? Or is it any different?

What, we’re not GOOD enough for them???!!!

Why won’t they notice me???!!!

I ignore her and she comes running to me, I show a little interest and she runs away – confusing beyond frustration.

He’s ignoring me on purpose – it must mean he likes me.

It either causes us to re-focus our mind to something less distracting and hurtful or causes us to lash out for attention to validate how something “should be” because we believe it “must” be.

These are valid reasons why people don’t like to be ignored.

The double hurtful thing…

It’s one thing to NOT be heard but it hurts worse to be misunderstood.

Some go the desperate needy way – hoping someone will give us a chance.

Some go the sexual way – sleeping with person after person hoping the sex will make the pain go away. A quick fix to an apparently long-term problem.

Some go the commitment route – if we’re dating, we’re in the relationship “clause”. In a relationship, you’re NOT supposed to be ignored – whereas while dating it’s not uncommon to go a week or two without talking.

Some move towards physical validation – Look at me!!!! Seriously… look at me dammit!!!

Mostly ( I guess ) guys do it by being loud and obnoxious, get in fights, overly state how their opinions are more right than yours. Whistle at you. Holler at you. Remark on your feminine wares or womanly body parts.

Girls can do that too but may have found more effective means such as showing off their sexually feminine and alluring body parts. 😉

The whole ignoring thing does not have one simple answer, I’ll give it that.

BUT…

I still feel it’s a personal thing…

We FEEL like we’re not being heard or understood giving more importance to the person or people who are doing it to us.

The answer, if there was one – is not to simply avoid seeking the truth of the ignorance.

That would be absurd to ask.

If we understand or agree, whether it’s a test, a game, or an internal struggle to become validated…

We’re the ones giving “ignorance” the power to control us or affect us then we can begin to see it for what it really is.

If it’s a guy… who is just trying to look better in front of a woman he likes – it’s not really a bad thing – it may be sad BUT it can also be cute. If we or you let if affect you in that way.

If it’s a group… who won’t let us play in their “reindeer games”, well we can always find a better group who won’t exclude us. Fuck ’em! 🙂 We’ll make our own fun and games.

If it’s by accident or done by the unknowing because they’re too wrapped up in their own world… it should NOT affect us negatively. We can reach out or poke them. Wake their asses up to something more exciting.

So… after all this will it drive a guy crazy to ignore him, as much as to amp his attraction up?

Or does it really involve something deeper is going on and we must look, understand, or engage a secret part of why it matters so much that some “dude” is ignoring us?

For some men, yes, it will drive his attraction higher IF he feels like he’s being minored on purpose. I can’t recommend its direct usage but I can certainly say… Give him the proper space and silence at just the right time and it WILL have amazing results.

Just do that on your own terms by just being too busy or self-involved in your own agenda and never do it just to play him.

Either way, it ALWAYS involves something deeper. We’ve already seen all the implications in this short article alone.

We’ve also already seen or been shown how it’s more internal than external.

No one actually likes or prefers to be ignored and again, the person being ignored must actually care because ignoring someone who couldn’t care less is more or less, doing them a favor.

About the author: Honest, upfront, and an ability to see past the hidden layers is my intended style at why do guys. My goal is to un-complicate men and steer you away from the guys who will only hurt you. My hope is that you learn something, anything, and my writing style is at least a little easy to understand… Thank you, Peter White

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    22 comments… add one
    • Kiwi

      Hi Peter,
      I am currently in a situation where I have literally fallen head over heals for a guy who might have friemdzoned me.
      He never texts me first, or whenever he does, its looks as if he doesn’t want to,but he still did.
      Soemtimes, he’ll act super cute and sweet, making me smile at my phone screen.
      We have met eqch other and are pretty good friends too.
      He gives me mized signals and I am really really scared that if I confess to him, he’s going to say No and I’m going to cry.
      what should I do ? He changing his place soon,then he’ll be in a different state.

      • Peter White

        Don’t confess. Don’t do anything. If he wants it (you) bad enough, it’s up to him to move forward or else it won’t mean as much to him.

        However – if you feel like he’s friends zoned you and he’s not making an effort AND he’s moving away – I’m sorry to say it doesn’t sound like you’ll ever be together.

        Learn from this experience and seek out new and exciting experiences which are more clear to you.

        Best of luck,
        Pete

    • Whitney

      Hello Pete,
      I been getting the ignore card from a guy I found a connection. He’s twenty four and I’m twenty seven. He’s my instructor for kickboxing.I known him for nine months. We talk about life and have deep conversations. I got so comfortable and trusting him I told him about a guy I met. Then, I ask him what’s his type/preference. He told me(I didn’t fit the category) he likes thick women. I’m slim. I liked the fact that we can talk to one another about that. We hugged a couple of times when we have our one on one talks.

      Then, next period of class, he was really short with me. He barely made eye contact with me. I’m assume he was moody. I didn’t stay back to talk with him. Next time of class, he ignored the whole class. He looks, but doesn’t say anything. I noticed there was a female in the classroom that I have my suspicion on being his girlfriend. I did get a chance to talk to her. She’s thirty three. I noticed when she was around he didn’t say nothing to me. I felt hurt by his action. I was so hurt i had to vent to a friend about him being shady.

      The other class times he just flat out ignore me. When I first arrive to class, I say hi. He had his back turn and say hello. I was getting exhausted on playing his games. Part of me wanted to talk to him but something told me to wait for him to talk. It never happened. I got to a point with is hi, thank you and take care.

      What gets me he looks at me like he wants to talk but doesn’t say or do anything.

      Was it something I say that made him give me the ignoring act? Do I have to just ask if something is wrong? What do you think Pete?

      Whitney

      • Peter White

        First Whitney, if he does have a girlfriend, why bother. Move on. So… this guy ignored you or whatever – it’s not a big deal. Worst things have happened and just because one guy isn’t responding the way you want, should not cause you to stop and go searching for an answer which will probably not mean anything in the end anyways.

        Secondly – it sounds like you both reached a point where he felt like you were propositioning him. Like you were hinting you wanted to be asked out and it kind of scared him away because he’s not interesting in that with you. Hey it happens – even the best fail once in a while. Point is, now it feels awkward to him and he’s avoiding you because of that and obviously if that’s the case AND he has a girlfriend there or anywhere – I would expect he’ll avoid you even more.

        I wouldn’t ask him what’s wrong. That won’t solve anything and if I’m right, will make the situation even worse.

        He, it happened. No need to spend too much time thinking about it or some guy.

        All the best,
        Pete

    • HI PETE
      2 THINGS FIRST HE LIED ABOUT TEXTING ANOTHER WOMAN. SHE WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND AT THE BEGIN OF SUMMER. IT ENDED. WE STARTING DATING HE WANT ME NOT TO DATE OTHER MEN AND HIM AS WELL NO WOMEN. FOCUS ON EACH OTHER SEE WHERE IT GOES. OK 1 WEEK THEN A TEXT COMES ACROSS HIS COMPUTER SCREEN I SEE IT AND HE THINKS IT DIDNT. NEXT MORNING I CHECKED YEP. SHE TEXT SHE WAS HORNEY AND WAS PULLING OUT HER VIBRATOR. HE TEXTED HEHEHE THEN SHE SAID I WANT TO FUCK YOU SO BAD. HE TEXTED THUMBS UP. I CLOSED THE PHONE HE WENT TO WORK I LEFT TOOK MY STUFF. TEXT HIM I WANTED HONESTY AND MONOGAMY. HE SAID HE WAS TO0. I TOLD HIM I SAY HIS PHONE MESSAGE HE DID BELIEVE ME. SCREEN SHOT THE MESSAGE BUT NOT REALIZING I HAD ALREADY SEEN IT. I NOTICED THE SEX TALK HAD BEEN DELETED. SHE HAD ENDED THE TEXT WITH: WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH? OH WELL IT DOES MATTER ANY HOW.

      I LET HIM CHILL FOR A FEW DAYS THEN ASKED IF HE WANTED TO WATCH THE GAME ON FRIDAY, OH GOING TO BE WITH MY BROTHER, THEN MY DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY ON SAT, SO HOW ABOUT SUNDAY I DONT HAVE TO WORK AND YOUR OFF.? I DIDNT SEE THE TEXT. HE JUMPED ON WELL WHAT ABOUT SUNDAY???? ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A DATE?
      SUNDAY CAME AND HE FLAKED. OH YOU GOING TO BE PISSED AT. ME IM WITH MY BROTHER AND I’M WAITING FOR MY DAUGHTER TO SHOW UP SHE WANTS TO SHE HIM SINCE HIS SURGERY. HOW WAS WORK?
      I TEXT BACK: Work was fantastic, slammed but $$$ Cant talk jumping into the shower birthday stuff (my birthday last wk) I might be around later next week give me a call and let me know what you were thinking.
      TTYL.
      WELL HE HASNT STOPPED TEXTING ITS BEEN 24 HOURS AND HE’S TEXT STUFF LIKE;
      K, Whatever that means…. 5:50pm
      NT: And looks like you had plans anyway.5:59pm
      NT: Was actually on my way there.6:09pm
      NT: Happy happy 9:42pm
      NEXT DAY;
      NT: Hope you had a good day 4:13pm
      NT: I do get it but I also don’t get it 5:09pm
      NT: I’ll take on guess, Back with whomever took you to Flemmings 7:11pm
      NT: Make sure you check his phone 7:11pm
      NT: Thats cool 7:11pm

      I like him but I’ve lost trust, I know he as abandonment issues. because the first time we made love he had an issue and then asked if I was going to break up with him not being able to sex.

      so why the other women? Why flake on me, then repeatedly text when I haven’t text you back.

      we made a deal not to see others and he seams to be wondering if im cheating but….. he’s keeping some fat scank bitch waiting at bay if it doesn’t work out with us????

      how long do I make him wait. if he cared he would call or show up wouldn’t you think Pete?

      Patiently waiting
      Debra

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