You won't be driving him crazy or into your arms, you're only giving him an out or an easy way to stop communicating with you.
So why are you considering this tactic?
Is it a last-ditch attempt to bring him back?
Is it a revenge tactic to make him feel like you're feeling?
Is it a way to validate how he feels about you?
Your thought process leading you to think, "If I ignore him and he gives me more attention, then I know he must really like me?"
Making it YOUR internal struggle to validate whether or not he gives a shit or not.
In another words it's being used to illicit a response and you're hoping it's a positive statement that he DOES care or a negative affirmation that he doesn't care about you at all.
Today's article will give you the main reasons why men will ignore you and the many problems related to it IF you try to ignore him back.
You'll get how certain men will respond to it, what it means, why it happens, and which ones it will drive CRAZY and the type of guy who you'll drive away when your attempt to ignore him fails or is found out.
We've got a lot to cover so let's get right to it start with...
Men ignore women for lots of reasons.
ALL of which are covered in my upcoming Ebook which you can pick up by signing in below to my newsletter.
They six MAIN reason are:
- A breakdown in communication.
- Being in different modes - dating or relationship.
- Projections in dating or misreading what is happening.
- He's self-centered or narcissistic.
- You're pushing him or men away.
- Evolutionary reasons. (Not covered today but in the book.
Two more reasons not covered in the book:
Knowing where his silence is coming from you can determine what the exact effect it will have on a guy by ignoring him.
If it's a #1: breakdown in communication you're only making the problem worse and I think you know it.
Sometimes when we feel helpless to and don't know what to do we often revert to any tactic which can illicit q quick response.
This generally means you're already in some form or relationship with him and fixing the issue requires anything BUT silence or taking the passive aggressive stance of ignoring someone.
When a pattern like this is set in place it's very difficult to unwind and stop it after the damage is done.
In most circumstance it WILL drive your boyfriend or husband crazy but it's unpredictable as to how he will respond. Most of the time he'll bury the feelings, do it back to you, withdraw even more until a later time when it explodes at a most inconvenient and even more unpredictable moment.
If this IS the case I STRONGLY SUGGEST you get some help before the problem digs itself in too deep making it tough to get out from underneath.
For some quick results start using this immediately:
"Learn “The 10-Second Miracle” – a powerful, proven technique that will end pretense, silent treatments, and tension, and restore the flow of good feelings almost instantly."
To help you better connect with him and some more extensive work you two can dig deep and get to the root of ALL the problems:
"Rebuild, Reconnect & Rekindle The Intimacy To Bring Him Close.
You'll learn how to tell if the relationship is disconnected and what to do about it PLUS how to avoid the two big mistakes that will only push him further away."
If it's #2: being in a different dates mode - meaning you're acting like you're in a relationship with him and he only sees it as casual dating...
He'll just assume you're on the same page as him and it's only a casual dating thing.
When a man is still in dating mode he'll contact you less. When he enters relationship mode - you'll generally hear more from him.
Ignoring a man in this case can "accidentally" have a positive effect on him or cause him to want you more because you'll giving him something ALL men need... time and space.
Something you can read how and why it works from Rori Raye (Her free newsletter link) in this article:
"Men love to pursue you. Let him chase you. Create the right space so he can come to you. Men like to feel like they’re winning you over. Stop doing and start being. Allow him to progress naturally. He won’t think you’re not interested. If he’s attracted to you he will not stop because you’re not showering him with love.”
Unless of course it's a purposeful game then eventually it will have the reverse effect and send the BETTER men away as soon as he figures it out.
Ignoring him in this case will have one or two outcomes: You'll drive the less mature man crazy and he's bound to react in some negative ways (as you can read about here: What Type Of Guy Hates Being Ignored and Why?) OR you'll drive the more mature man away - again if it's found out it was being done on purpose.
If it's accidental or circumstantial - then usually all can be forgiven or it's noticed by the better man anyways. He just assumes you're in dating mode living your life to the fullest.
(Which is by far one of the most attractive things you can do to attract a better guy.)
If it's #3: projection or you're misreading what is happening - like you decide to ignore him because you feel he's ignoring you when he's not...
Then, like above, he'll most likely assume you're playing one of "those" games men don't like just you don't either.
This will definitely piss most men off. It won't drive the better man crazy, it will simply push him further away. He won't be ignoring you - he could actually just not get in touch with you anymore.
WAIT: Before you get down on yourself (if this is a habit of yours) I can tell you from years of experience EVERYONE projects a little. It's a human trait tied to fears and it does serve a greater purpose for survival even in our modern era.
Unfortunately we tend to connect those fears and projections a little too much causing some majors problems in our life.
If you do it a little - it's not a big deal.
BUT if you find yourself doing it all too often and it's pouring over into your dating/relationships with men then it WILL become a roadblock.
It can stop you from enjoying even the simplest moments with men and it will cause you to overthink and over-analyze everything a guy does (as it relates to you and him) which will unfortunately and inevitably STOP from connecting with men on a deeper level because you'll get stuck inside your head.
When you're there - you enjoy the present less. You live in the future too much. The past (good times and bad times) will control and dictate your actions.
The fastest most efficient way to break out of these "projections" is to learn how to live in the present as often as possible.
You must learn to quiet your mind and give up or in theory relinquish control over certain things.
Yes - that is easier said than done but it's possible. Take it from a guy who lived so far inside his head I barely peaked my head out to enjoy some of the best times of my life AND they just passed me by along with the hope of ever finding my dream woman.
BUT I did it. Now I see the world. Now I enjoy the present. AND I do it WITH the woman of my dreams.
Here are some places you can find your present or more appropriately some great tips to open up this world for you. Pick one or all and see how you feel after reading them.
The Secret Trick To Great Dates – Get Out Of Your Head & Into His Heart - This will show you how and why the present matters so much and a little on how to get and stay there.
The Secret to Keeping a Man: Forget the Future, Enjoy the Present - This one talks about what happens when you're living in the future and what it means to a guy when you stay in the present.
6 Ways On How To Use The Magic Of Intuition & Get To Know The Real Him - This one talks about your fears, control, and your intuition. All of which is important to show you how to live in the present more effectively thereby eliminating your often subconscious need to project.
There is a ton more I'd love to share with you but this is a big one - too big to cover here. My aim is to push in the right direction.
My personal advice (based on my own experiences) is to:
- Find and eliminate as many limited beliefs you have.
- Learn what you do have control over and what you don't and let the rest go because it will never be in your power to control them.
- Find your fears. Learn where they come from and how they are controlling your life. We all have them - just don't let them be the driving force in your daily life.
- BE the best version of yourself at any given time. Day by day we fluctuate. We shrink and grow minute by minute. We have lots of ups and downs. Don't let the downs seep into your mind too deep. Admit at any given time - you'll TRY to do your best and don't let anyone ever make you feel any less for it.
- Understand the right knowledge mixed with a healthy self-esteem, a real belief in yourself, AND learning and what real self-confidence is and how to achieve will combine and ASSURE you'll be living in the present... automatically.
Lastly - for this whole projection thing an trust I did not plan to go this far but since I'm already here - a man (Christian Carter - his free newsletter link) who I always speak of highly and one of his articles is listed above he made me realize something...
Projections and being "Ready For Love" are inherently connected to each other as they are also linked to living in the present.
I've certainly noticed with complete erasure of all our fears, insecurities, anxieties, and the hopelessness which is associated with suffering from "deeply rooted projections" - we become as he states... READY FOR LOVE making the rest so much easier and allows everything to fall in place as it should... naturally.
Interesting concept, isn't it? - It is to me because it makes a lot of undeniable sense.
If you're not convinced (consciously or subconsciously) that you're ready or capable of love you'll all too often sabotage yourself in many ways and you won't even know it's happening or why. Things like these including projections, tend to hide themselves from us and don't make themselves aware until something bad happens as we try to figure out WHY it keeps happening.
My final note in all this: Get yourself Ready for Love and this and many other man problems or projections or difficulties related to not living in the present go away.
Luckily Christian has developed an actual program to get you there.
(My disclaimer - the Rori and Christian link above along with the ready for love link are my affiliated links. I do earn a commission when you buy something using them and don't return them. You will be supporting me and helping yourself so hopefully it's all good. Most people don't know this but NONE of my affiliates pay me anything to promote their products. I do so on my own from my own research and handpick everything.)
Moving to number 4 reason why a guy might ignore you...
If he's overly #4: self-centered or narcissistic then several things might happen - good and bad.
Good because by pushing him away you may help yourself to rid this type of man from your life entirely setting you up to eventually meet a better higher quality man with a genuine and positive character traits.
Bad because you could draw him back in causing him to chase you a little - which might be fun for a while - but as above - letting a man like this back in your life or inviting him by playing or teasing his Ego could land you in a relationship with him.
More bad because once he's drawn back in and his Ego is fed - the challenge disappears and so will he until it all happens again or he finds another woman who won't make him the center of attention.
Both of these man-types of classically known to ignore women and I would NEVER advice you playing by their rules or try to match them one for one.
It's (they) are just not worth your time or "lack of energy".
If you're not sure if he's this type or not, you can either put a search out there and you'll get plenty of hits OR subscribe to my newsletter - read my book and you'll find there's enough in it to help you figure THIS guy out.
Let's quickly move on to number five because I don't care to talk about "those" types of guys all too often. I like to focus on the positive...
If by chance - you just happen to #5: push too many "good" men away AND your tactic is to ignore a guy because you think he's doing it to you...
Whether he is or not makes no difference here there's a lot going on here but the main one is...
Think about this for second. I KNOW you're smart enough to figure this one our on your own but it must be said and stated rather bluntly:
You're not ignoring him - you're actually just PUSHING another guy away, right?
If you're being forgotten or feel like his attention is diminishing or is ignoring you when it's just him being a guy or doing his own thing, then will it drive him crazy - or into your arms - or whatever your end-game is with him?
Tough one to answer making it a random thing depending on the type of guy you're involved or not involved with so for some - yes it could work out. For others - nope - won't do a thing.
Typically and you know this to be true - if he wasn't doing it purposely and you're setting yourself up to unfortunately push another good guy away then this "area" of ignoring men and driving him crazy or not IS not what you must be focused.
You "could' be deflecting the issue because your mind won't let you go there. You could be doing it for all the reasons listed in the "projections" area and assuring yourself you won't find love because you're not fully convinced you're ready for it.
The truth sucks but lots of people everyday and everywhere get in their own way. This is not confined to dating and relationships.
You will rarely (if ever) hear me tell anyone that it's entirely "their" fault because I know that's not the way this whole thing works.
AND I'm not fully going there on this one either.
All I will say is taking responsibility for your own actions and the effect they have on others is one of the pillars or foundations of someone who has high self-esteem.
I'm not going to say "blame yourself" because that's not what it means. Just to objectify your situation, the patterns you've seen and lived through in your life, AND figure out where you fit into it all.
Here's something to think about before we move on...
You're most likely a great woman with a lot to give as I believe most are and will never believe any less.
So will it piss a guy off or drive him crazy if you ignore him under those terms?
Nothing drives a man more crazy than finding a great woman and having to be stuck watching or living through her self-sabotaging herself and the relationship for any reason whatsoever.
THAT is what pisses off the better guys and it's heightens his anger when he KNOWS how great you are but YOU can not see it for yourself or notice what you're doing to yourself.
Lastly for this "chapter" ... a hopefully uplifting moment for both of us and this comes straight from my heart to yours:
If you fall into this "pushing good men away" category STOP being so damn freaking hard on yourself when it happens.
Don't berate yourself. Don't make yourself feel worse for it.
Just DO something about it starting right now!
We learn to live by LIVING. The mistakes we make teach us HOW to live. The journeys we take are merely preparations to enjoy which make the next stage or journey even more enjoyable than the last.
— Peter White (@PeterWhite125) March 4, 2019
That's what life is.
We either learn to NOT push others away as we live or we don't.
We either learn to draw others closely or we don't.
Mostly it's some combination of both as we choose to allow others into our life or not.
AND It doesn't make us better or worse than anyone else because of it.
You will NEVER meet anyone has hasn't severely screwed something up in their life. THAT is a GUARANTEE.
Your choice is either to take the part of it that is solely yours and begin to make it better, blame others and make it worse and elongate it, or ignore the problem and hope it goes away on its own.
These are not theoretical statements - they are FACTS.
I honestly don't care if it's your fault because I won't judge you for it so you shouldn't judge yourself for it either.
I've made lots if mistakes. Some I've owned. Some I clearly have not. I don't see you as any better or worse than me and I kindly ask the same of you.
Okay - enough said on all that, let's pick up where we left off....
#6: The Evolutionary perspective, I'm sorry to say will won't be covered today and it's not because we're out of time or word-space but because it's not relevant enough to make a connection from driving a man crazy and ignoring.
I will consider it later and if it fits - I'll update the post.
After all this I'm coming to a conclusion which is not too pleasing for some but seems to be the case...
There's no definitive answer on ignoring a man and if it will drive him crazy or not or into your arms.
You might have already guessed that by now but we're going on....
A guy can ignore a woman purposely or by accident or by being too busy and wrapped up in his own affairs to notice the things around them.
The same hold just as equally true for you too.
Above are the common reasons why men go silent and the effect ignoring him might have depending on the situation BUT there's more which will ALWAYS come down to the TYPE of guy you're contacting or choosing to ignore.
Let's go a little deeper... and take a look at a few more examples and how these next guys will ignore you and how he might respond if you ignore him too.
A certain type of guy can and will ignore a woman because he's trying not to appear needy or desperate.
"The more approval seeking the guy, the more attention he needs, the more he’ll absolutely hate being ignored while a man on the other end might not care as much or at all."
For him - it's merely a way to keep his attraction in check.
He's trying to NOT scare you away like he did with all the rest because he actually likes you THAT much.
Good or bad on your end remains to be seen but from a man's perspective who teaches guys about women - sometimes it's a necessary stage for him to go through in order to release his desperate need for attention.
You see some guys just don't know how to give you space or how not to come off desperate and needy.
He could easily ignore you because he's just trying not to overdo with you. He's trying to give you space AND for guys likes this - sure it's a tactic but the goal is to keep himself away and not to trick by any means at all.
He needs to find a balance between his life and giving all of it up for you.
This guy - it may go without saying BUT, if you ignore him back you're more than likely going to amp up his attraction AND drive him crazy.
Two things which rarely go well together for the less than stable man.so you are fully warned.
If he's a type two trying to move up to becoming a type one - ignoring him could set him back and sooner or later HE will be the one pushing you away because his neediness and desperate acts will drive YOU crazy.
I should know - I USED to be that type.
You could easily turn a guy who's just "trying" to not push you away into a guy who WILL push you away.
Either way - probably NOT a good outcome.
A guy can ignore a woman purely by accident.
Yes, it does happen.
He might not feel, believe, or even consider the fact that he's been ignoring you.
So... ignoring him might work unless there's a reason you're being forgotten which is not a good one - like because he's seeing other women or chasing another woman. In that case - as above - you're just giving him an easy out.
But if it's not that reason AND he doesn't realize or isn't paying enough attention to know he's doing this to you...
Several things can and WILL happen.
One - by ignoring him back you're not sending the right message which will only hinder or completely stop any open lines of communication between you and him.
Two - he'll become confused and feel like he doesn't understand you which, if you know men like I do, only leads to him thinking YOU don't understand HIM - which can easily push him further away than he was when he was unaware that he was ignoring you.
If you at all suspect that he's unaware of what is happening then an honest open approach with productive communication skills will ALWAYS prove more positive.
In other words - bring it up delicately - don't just ignore him back because it will irritate the problem.
A guy can also ignore a woman because he's so self-involved to see what is going on around him.
This falls under the self-involved man and as explained above - ignoring him might be good but this TYPE of guy might not fall entirely into that category.
He's always wrapped up in his own world, maybe a little selfish, maybe a little determined to find his way, or yes, it pains me to say it but not really socially inept enough to notice he "appears" to be ignoring the people around him.
No matter how it happens his focus NEVER seems to be in the right place at the right time.
It's narrowed to one thing at one time and if you're not in his cross-hairs it can feel very personal.
Like he's doing it to you on purpose.
Ignoring a guy like this won't drive him crazy because he won't even notice it's even happening.
It becomes a waste of your valuable time.
This man-type is unfortunately a little too unaware of his circumstance BUT he's not so self-centered - just again - not socially adapted to normal interactions between men and women or people in general.
Ignoring him doesn't help him and it certainly doesn't help you.
Now that you've seen the problems and sometimes possible solutions to ignoring a guy and the right questions to ask yourself about why you're considering doing the same thing to him... or what it might do to him or how it might make him feel...
Are you still considering ignoring him?
Are you still wondering if it will drive him crazy or not?
Are you still curious to found out if it'll drive a man back in your arms when you feel like you've lost him?
I want to hear about it below.
Take a moment to think about this problem, why it brought you here, the real solution you're looking for - and hopefully through today's post you'll have a clearer picture of what is going on and how you can now proceed with finding your own personal answer.
Lastly... if you're looking to open up a guy or you feel he's silent or ignoring you and you wish he'd communicate with you better - there's always a way depending on the nature of your relationship BUT it ALWAYS starts with COMMUNICATION and is rarely ever solved through passive-aggressive behavior like by just ignoring him.
I believe THAT has been covered extensively today.