Why Do Some Men Like You One Time, Then Pretend They Barely Know You?

 Man Back Turned To You

Why is it when a guy is into you, shows every sign he likes you, but the next time he sees you, it's like you don't even exist?

He acts a little distant and barely listens to a word you say.

You want to ask him what's wrong but you're only somewhat dating or anything more.

You're definitely not in a relationship.

You're still getting to know each other...

But for some reason he's making you feel you did something wrong and this passive aggressive attitude he's displaying is making you wonder why you're even bothering with him at all.

I was totally into this "chic" once. She was the type who lots of guys chase. You could take one look at her and instantly assume she could have any guy she wanted.

If you don't know about how much attraction controls men I can tell you it's not too easy to shrug it off. It makes you do things you wouldn't normally do.

It makes you almost want to give everything you got, all in the hopes her attraction would be returned.

The way I see it, as a man who has studied this stuff extensively, us guys actually "suffer" from attraction (it literally hijacks our brains) because if we follow it blindly seems to do just the opposite to the woman we're madly falling for... makes her feel less for us.

Well let me tell you this girl had me hooked. Literally every curve on her body mesmerized me. Her face was flawless and her eyes, the way they lit up when she saw me... got me scared.

I was terrified that I was going to screw it up.

So here's this guy, me, definitely NOT the greatest "ladies man" in the world at the time, hasn't had much success with women, and feeling it like there's no tomorrow...

While experiencing the peak of my attraction I gave it my all despite all the fears...

Tried to make her laugh.

Tried to find a connection with her.

Tried to be "all that a man could be" because I was "suffering" from a lowered self-esteem just being around her.

Just so you know, it felt like it worked. She was returning the flirts and playing right back with me. The chemistry was increasing and so was the sexual tension.

Despite the fact as our interaction continued so did my self-confidence because she was just that cool to be around.

Now you would think I would've been smart enough to run with it. To "do my thing" and keep it up. You would think, because it only makes sense, I'd be all her into her when we met again.

But it wasn't like that at all.

There was more people around the next time.

More guys there to flirt with her.

Suddenly, every available "stud" was taking over where I had left off and I just knew it was once again going to be a losing battle for me.

So there I was, frozen and while watching all those other guys be all into her, I got a frightening glimpse into my future:

We'd talk a little. Get to know each other better. A few weeks or maybe a month would pass and we would grow closer.

But I've been through all that before many times and what always happened was more predictable than the sunrise.

While I was "doing all the work", she was dating some other guy and kissing him on the first date. Since I was "being nice" and spent way too much time waiting for the moment to happen, and didn't know how to make it happen naturally...

I was waiting for HER to make a move on me.

Because to men, and more specifically the type two guy I used to be, that's the ultimate sign a girl is into them, when she makes the first move.

Remember that because "making a move" to some men is a lot more than just going for a kiss.

You see this seemingly innocent "passive aggressive" method is just another way to get YOU to prove how much you like us.

If we ignore you and you seek us out, our confidence goes up and we believe you're feeling it just as much as we are too.

If we keep away and act aloof or distant, it becomes an instant although pathetic test of pass or fail.

We definitely want to feel in control of our attraction and if we can stay away long enough, it gives us time to think about how to handle it and stop our attraction from pushing you away.

After all, EVERY guy understands (even though he acts differently or won't admit the truth) that every woman he chases just seems to run away quicker.

But here's the part most don't know...

We're testing our restraint more than we're testing YOU because some guys, like I was, need to feel like you're into us just as much as the guy you kissed so quickly and early on.

When we predict our future with you and we only see what some other women did to us, our anger turns passive and we want to make sure THIS TIME, it's going to be different.

This time I won't chase her because she's too hot.

This time I won't be the guy who kisses her ass "hoping" she'll like me back.

This time I will do anything and everything I know to make sure I make her prove how much she likes me.

Even if it means ignoring you and acting like I couldn't care less about you.

Thus satisfying the fragile "Ego" and it's thirst for validation.


So you met a guy who seemed into you and you even "liked" him back.

But the next time you're together it felt like you don't exist anymore.

Don't let him fool you, he just wants to know you're going to meet him half way.

Or maybe the whole way for some guys.

He is probably worried too much and is stuck, frozen, and watching for your signals, or he just doesn't understand how all this attraction thing really works.

Is he playing you on purpose?

Some do. I won't lie.

Here's where I show how you to tell if he is actually playing you or not:

Man Playing Woman Sex

"A REAL player is a guy who manipulates a woman’s feelings or emotions with the purpose of using those feelings to get what he wants from her."

Defining A Player, The Games He Uses, & Why Most Men Are Not Players

Did you do something wrong to push him away?

Well obviously there's a chance that DID happen.

In cases like this and more, if you're noticing a pattern of men walking or running away from you, then you could definitely be doing things that are pushing, even scaring men away...

Here's a promotional opportunity you can watch to help you figure all that out:

Why Men Pull Away Video Thumbnail

Video Link: Why Men Pull Away - The Real Reasons Why Men Lose Interest & How To Fix Today!

Produced by Slade Shaw.

Is there a chance he doesn't even notice it's happening?

Of course.

Some guys just don't pay attention to this kind of stuff as much as others.

Yet, generally speaking, you can consider it as him giving you space.

He's trying to show you he's not needy.

He doesn't want to screw it up with you.

He wants YOU to prove to him you're not going to treat him like a "dear friend" three weeks down the road.

Men are not always obvious when their attraction for you is driving them crazy.

If a guy likes you one minute and is ignoring you the next, all things considered it could just  means he "really really really" likes you!

In my free ebook "Understanding Men Made Simple", I break down men into TWO types.

You can read more about both types on my home page: Why Do Guys.

You'll find both types respond and act in different ways based on their character and type.

This means the response or action you're seeing can mean two totally different things so knowing his type, can make all the difference in the world to you, and to him too.

Why Men Do Go Silent & Ignore You Too!

Why Men Ignore Silent Book Cover

You can sign up below for free and learn all about the two types below or you can pick up my book, "Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Won’t Share Their Feelings" and skip right to the chapter on why men MUST pull away from you which reveals:

  • Why men will ALWAYS need space - Now you will know why and how you can give him what he needs to want to get closer to you.
  • Why men withdraw after intimacy. You'll know what he's thinking which will make it easier for you to keep the feelings strong and moving forward.
  • Why men pull back after getting close and what you must do to not push him further away.
  • Why he pushes you away even if he says he loves you and how it's all a part of his process he MUST go through.
  • Why a man backs off at the best and worst times and how it connected to you.
  • Why he retreats when you know without a doubt he likes you and how it has everything to do with him and not you. Knowing this little "secret" can help you make it easy for him to never leave.
  • Why he ignores you - Is he doing it on purpose? Is he doing it to hurt you? Why would ANY man ignore you when you've been so close.
  • Why he stops contacting you - Is it you or is it him? Learn every reason why he just suddenly disappeared one day AND you'll finally know if you should wait for him or just erase him from your life.
  • Why he doesn't call as much as he used to - When a man slowly back away - you'll know why he seems to slowly be removing himself from your life.
  • Why his texting habits get less frequent over time and if it means he's losing interest, pulling away, or dropping you entirely.

Pick it up today at a great price: Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Won’t Share Their Feelings

Thank You For Sharing

Understanding Any Man Starts Here, Right Now!

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There are 3 critical reasons why you NEED to read this book IMMEDIATELY:

♦ If you’re not sure what his type is, you could misread everything he says & does which leads to more confusion and making mistakes with him that will hurt.

♦ Learn the insight & ability to detect if he’s for real, using you for sex, a player, a good guy, or one of those rare REAL man you DO want.

♦ Get my personal secret to getting a guy devoted and obsessed over you. Let me show you the right way because if you do it wrong, there may be no turning back the clock.

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“I have enjoyed reading your words and found them very helpful in finding myself with guys. I credit you in part for finding love myself. I recommend you to everyone who I feel could use your advice. Thank you!”

Get A Closer Peek Into The Two Types of Guys

About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated. Let me show you how and why too. There are only two types of guys and knowing this fact changes everything. If you don’t know his type you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you.

This article was posted in Is He Interested In You? Does He Like You? Signs & Signals Of Attraction, Why Do Guys – Understanding Men and The Things They Do To Confuse You

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376 comments… add one
  • Dawn

    This man I work was flirting with me and then suddenly stopped. I can see why he might have because of me too or whatever but I already let him know I was cool with it and flirted back. I’m seriously looking for someone to date without going online and finding this sort of behavior extremely frustrating. I’m in my 40s and he’s in his 50s. It just seems like the games never stop.

  • Vidhi

    Hey Peter,
    There is this guy I like in college. We both are kind of friends.. And sometimes he gives me signs that he likes me. Few days ago he asked to hangout with his friends and I agreed. We went to the club and there he asked me to dance with him ( there were 4 more girls than me.. But he only asked me)

    , he asked me frequently if I was enjoying and having a good time… But the next day at college he would ignore me like doesn’t even know me… What do I do?

    • Hey Vidhi,

      Do absolutely nothing.

      He either decided he’s not interested in you after that night, was looking for more and didn’t get it, used you to entice or tease or make another woman jealous, or is playing some kind of game.

      I’ve found college guys act a little different than a fully mature man so blow him off.

      Be done with him.

      If you begin to find men are doing this consistently to you THEN and ONLY THEN can you look towards yourself so see what’s going on BUT until it’s a definite pattern in your life… it’s HIM.

      So don’t even bother wasting your time.

      It’s one thing to act a little distant or play it off as just a night on the town – but to completely ignore you is something entirely different and it doesn’t deserve any respect or action on your part beyond looking elsewhere and forgetting about him.

      All the best,

  • k

    Have to comment on this; daughter is a percussionist and works with them(she’s high school age) They all do this because they feel there’s more than one girl in the picture. I’ve told my daughter she can’t date any of them after the stories she’s told me. IT’s like a game to these guys. THey all want to feel (or believe) there’s one or more girls into them–they love the attention. Whether a girl is really into them or not—they are massive flirts. Eventually, a girl or two gives up because it’s this on / off again thing—but then another one comes around. I don’t know if the football players do this too–but it helps the guys feel they’re popular. So basically, they are not serious—

  • QT

    I think this guy likes me. He was flirting with me by telling funny jokes. But I met him again next week, he acted disinterested and blunt, not nice to me. Like you said, it seems like a couple of guys like me and it might make he responded that way. I like him, but I’m hesitant because he is 4yr younger. I just want to enjoy our time together right now. I don’t want to approach him first to show that I like him because of my past experience of rejection due to misunderstand that a guy like me when he didn’t. So, I want him to pursue me, not vice versa. What should do during this time that he ignoring me so that I won’t be the first to pursue him, but makes him pursue me instead? And also how can I know if a guy likes me? I tend to misunderstand.

    • QT,

      Anytime a guy is not nice to you in a not so pleasant way… WHY would you put up with it? It’s one thing to tease someone a little, I’ve done it many times BUT you need to find a line and stick to it.

      Decide right now – how much rudeness are you really willing to put up with from a guy you barely know? When is too much… too much!

      AND why would you want a guy who is not nice to you PURSUE you anyways. That’s where you’ll find yourself looking for an Ego boost and not a potential date, boyfriend, or future husband.

      Live your life. Forget about him. That’s how you stop yourself from pursuing him.

      If you want to make HIM pursue you – I’m not going there because he wasn’t NICE to you… period.

      THIS program will:

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      It will help you become the kind of woman men can’t resist naturally.


      How do you know if a guy likes you – because he treats you with respect and doesn’t play mind games with you. He steps up to your challenge. He leads you forward. He takes ACTION. Sure other guys who may like you might not do anything of those things but the ones who do those things are actually the best guys for you anyways.

      So the rest – eventually they’ll learn how or not. It shouldn’t be your concern.

      I understand you’re worried about rejection BUT this guy basically has already rejected you in a RUDE way. He did YOU a favor. Trust me on that.

      It’s going to be okay.

      Kindly your friend,

  • courtney

    Hello so quick story. A guy friend and I have been for 3 years. We recently started becoming closer as friends. I went through a break up and he was there to listen to me. We hung out and went to an event and we had a great time. He started complimenting me more and actually talking to me more. Our last conversation was over a month ago. He just stopped talking to me. On social media he will comment on pictures but if I were to contact him he wont respond. I need help. what does this mean?

    • Peter White

      Hello Courtney,

      Sounds like he is a guy who lives in the friends zone all too often. Been there myself many times long ago. He’s probably worried you’re going to put him there again and so is refraining from getting too close to you.

      These type of guys sort of expect the woman to make the first, second, and third move and if they don’t – they take it personal and automatically assume the woman isn’t interested in anything more.

      Your history with him tells me that after your break up and him being there for you – that he’s going to be hesitant about putting himself in that position again. It’s not a fun place to be.


  • jennifer

    There is this boy next door my apartment that i know.He used to say hi and tak to me sometimes…but then other times he made fun of me and hit me with a football in a joke way and laughs….why does he do that?
    once I was with my friends talking to him ad after a few sec he told me he has a crush and when i asked him who is it he just looked at me and said don’t worry.He even share a lot of common things with me.eg.he asked me my favorite food and i said pizza ,he said same to me and tha’s when i started crushing on him…
    Another time when i showed him my ex’s pic he started saying rude stuff about him for no reason….He was sometimes nice but then sometimes rude.
    lots of times I saw him and he was just staring..cuz i felt awkward i didn’t look up….
    Now if i pass him he doesn’t really say hi or anything….he just look at me for few sec and walk past……
    why is he doing this?
    did i do anyhting bad….

    • Peter White

      Hi Jennifer,

      He was making fun of you to tease you. That was his “opening” and I won’t get into all the reasons why guys tease women this way BUT it’s normally a sign he wants you to flirt with him and tease him back. This shows him you’re interested in “sparing” with him.

      He said rude things about your ex because he was jealous AND he probably thought it was rude that you would show him those pictures. I would suggest you don’t do that to a guy IF you don’t want this reaction.

      If you were subconsciously testing him or even knowingly doing it to see how he responds, then yes, it’s a good way to tell early on how strong the guy you’re dealing with is, and I might even encourage it if finding a strong guy has been a problem for you, but then you must accept the consequences. It will scare off a lot of guys. They just don’t like it.

      Imagine you were hanging out with a guy and he started showing you pictures of his “hot ex” and I believe you’ll see what I mean.

      Other than that, it’s salvageable. He’ll probably (sort of) forget about it sooner or later depending on how into you he is and how many other women he hits on.

      Thanks for asking and all the best,


  • Riya

    there is this guy who is in my school and used to text me a lot. Everyone teased us at school. The way he used to text made it clear that he liked me. We both went to the same after classes and he wouldn’t stop touching me. We used to talk the whole day. He definitely flirted with me. He would tell me the minutest details of his day like when he is disturbed after his parents fight. He had become my best friend in just 3 months. Then suddenly he started behaving very rudely with me something which he never did before. He stopped texting and behaved distant and cold. Its been over 3 months we stopped talking. after we stopped talking some of my other friends came over and told me about his flirtatious nature. I saw him talking to other girls many times but his behavior with them was completely different than what he behaved with me. While talking to other girls he had this cool stud type behavior but with he was a sweet helping good guy.. Every now and then when I m not looking he would steal glances at me and stare at me when our eyes meet..
    I fail to understand the reason behind this cold behavior of his… Is it that i did something wrong? I don’t even remember being rude to him.. I even don’t understand why is his behavior different while talking to me and the other girls..

    • Peter White

      Hi Riya,

      Guys tend to act different around girls they are attracted to. It’s not always obvious and some are good at hiding it BUT if you look hard enough you’ll see it.

      From what I can tell about your situation is that he wanted to be with you but felt like you didn’t want to be with him. That would cause a lot of guys to feel led on and perhaps become instantly rude and distant.

      I’d look at what was going on with regards to you two becoming involved just before it happened and maybe you can pinpoint the exact moment.

      Remember some guys will continually hint and wait for YOU to say it’s okay before they’re willing to make a move. If something hinted to him that you liked somebody else or were not interested after he’s been putting all this work
      into you, he’ll sort of begin to avoid or even hate you for it.

      Also, guys are notoriously bad at reading a woman’s signals so you might have been giving him the green light, but he just wasn’t getting it.


  • Marilyn Waters

    Theres this guy who is like my best friend. We used to talk everyday and I was a little shy so he would start the conversation everytime. He’d tease me often telling me that he had to confess something and then one day he wrote, I Love you. I thought it was one of his jokes so I kind of didnt give a very good reply. Ever since that day he stopped replying often, he wouldn’t start the conversations. I asked him several times what was wrong but he just didn’t tell me the reason and now hes like a completely different person. He won’t reply even if he’s online and I have to message him. What do I do?

  • Janett

    Hi, so I was wondering about this;
    There is one guy that we hang for maybe 2 years. We are always outside hanging with some other dudes and just having fun. But on every event or something- we were close, for example hugging and one time he tried to kiss me so many times. Also for the New Years Eve, we kissed, and it wasn’t just a ‘small’ kiss, it rly lasted long and he kissed me first.
    After that, he just stopped hugging me or grabbing my butt (i know it’s weird right xD ) as he used to. Before you could see us going outside in front of others hugged and talking and maybe starting to kiss and now, nothing. He even became rly ignorant; Whatever I say, he thinks different. like he hates me soo much.
    But I’m confused; why did we kissed and why would he hug me and stuff if he hates me?
    Thanks for understanding ☺♥

    • Peter White

      Hi Janett,

      Hate and love and not far off from an emotional standpoint. Both represent feelings we associate with people who affect us one way or another. They key is whether or not another person emotionally affects us.

      Think about it this way, if you didn’t care less about someone or something then it’s hard to hate or love them.

      When you feel nothing you’re usually not going to become emotional charged over it.

      Now, in your specific case, it really sounds like he’s trying to push you away, hoping you’ll hate him enough to leave him alone. This may be his way of rejecting you based on reasons I’m just not privy to.

      Perhaps maybe that night he was drinking (because it was new years eve) or deciding whether or not he wanted something more with you and once he got it, changed his mind or found out he was not that interested in pursuing anything more with you.

      Us guys do that way too much.

      We think we want a woman. We build her up in our head. BUT the image of her is greater than the actual event of being with her. So when we actually decide to follow through with it more, we realize it’s not something we wanted in the first place.

      I suppose women do that too, right? Just the mere thought of being something more to a guy crumbles when you’re actually with him because you built up this image no man could possibly live up to anyways.

      My best guess again is, that he’s acting like he hates you to reject you. Hate is such a big word here and it doesn’t sound like he hates you. He feels something but just not enough to continue doing what he was doing before.

      Hopefully that helps you understand your situation a little better from a guys point of view.

      All the best,


  • Emmy

    So I met this guy in college. We would talk normally on facebook, then he would avoid saying hi in person. After a year of this I decided to ask hI’m if he would like to grab lunch. He agreed and it was nice. We continued to text each other and we met in school and said hi. Then the semester started and he started ignoring me every time I passed by him. Why the sudden change in behavior?? I mean I am totally fine with just being friends. And he has tons of friends that are girls. Why be so disrespectful?

    • Peter White

      Hard for me to tell Emmy but my first guess is that he believes you’re attracted to him and he is not attracted to you. He was being nice by meeting up with you OR was maybe considering something else but realized he wasn’t feeling it.

      Being friends with lots of girls is one thing BUT being friends with a girl who is attracted to you and you’re not is something entirely different. That could be the case here. He’s trying not to lead you on.

      If I’m right, which sometimes does happen 🙂 I would bring it up with him first AND if he still only wants to be Facebook friends and nothing more, either delete him or just stay friends with him and not expect anything more.

      So he’s either being an ass and disrespecting you or can’t bring himself to just say hello in the real world, or is avoiding the “rejection” talk and casually letting you know he’s not interested in nothing more.

      Thanks for writing Emmy and I do hope that helps you out a little,


      • Emmy

        Hey Pete,

        So I decided to ignore him and deleted him from facebook. Guess what happens next. We start running into each other more and then one day out of no where he says hi when he passes by. He then tries to open a conversation while we were both in class. I am honestly very confused.

        • Peter White

          Hey again Emmy,

          So now he feels like you rejected him OR he feels bad but I d oubt he’s thought about it as much as you.

          Anyways, if he felt rejected or now thinks you don’t want him anymore, that’s usually enough to prod his Ego and get him to start coming to you more often.

          I don’t make the rule on how all that works. Just notice them. 🙂

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