≡ Menu
Why Do Guys…?

What Does It Mean If He Asks, Do You Love Me?

Confused Woman Asks Guy Do You Love Me

“What does it mean if he asks, do you love me? For the past two weekends, the guy I’ve been seeing has asked me many times… do you love me? Does that mean he loves me and is seeing where I am? or what??”

Hi Michelle,

If a guy has NOT told you he loves you AND he’s asked you many times if you love HIM, assume he is making sure you’re the one who says it first AND that he may be a little insecure.

I don’t find it strange that a guy would do this but a little puzzling that you didn’t tell me what your answer was to him.

And now I get to sound like him… Do you love him Michelle?

It appears he thinks or believes he did something wrong.

That could be something common like not feeling good enough for you.

It could also mean he’s terrible at reading you. Like he’s analyzing everything you do as it pertains to him.

Men who do this all too often are constantly looking for assurance, validation, and they want to hear the words themselves before they can even begin to believe it’s true.

They are also not very trusting and needy because instead of trusting a woman likes them back, they need to constantly hear it from her mouth to be certain.

Rather than wait for it to happen – they either probe indirectly or directly ask – Do You Love Me?

As in your situation.

Honestly it sounds like a self-esteem and or confidence issue.

I would love to tell you that it definitely means he loves you (assuming he hasn’t even said it yet) BUT in my opinion, or what my gut is telling me, this guy might not know exactly what love is, what it is supposed to feel like, how he’s supposed to express it AND how long it takes to develop with someone.

Something which is all too common for guys.

Ask lots of men what they believe love is and how it feels and you will get lots of different answers based on their personal experiences or transition into maturity.

Based on what you wrote – I would see this as a warning sign especially if you haven’t known each other for that long.

Early on – it should be, “Haha! You love me. :p “ and not “Do you like me?” or “Do you love me?” or anything like that at all.

But you already knew that I bet.

You also guessed that, yes, he’s more than likely just seeing where you’re at with him.

Again mostly because he’s not reading you too well and has a lack of confidence in attracting women or and I think you’ll like this one…

He might actually believe YOU are too good for him.

Take a look at the signals you’ve been sending him or to guys in general and if you notice a pattern of confused guys, then consider changing the little hints you give.

It’s not absolutely recommended – because the better guys to tend get the hint easily or assume it anyways. They’re the ones who tease you early on about how into them YOU are.

You can also look at your attractive edge over other women.

This means extremely beautiful women tend to scare guys into believing you wouldn’t like them, or they wonder why you would be attracted to them, or they do lots of weird things to keep you interested…

They also feel pressured into moving too quickly because of the competition.

If this guy is feeling any pressure like those listed or any pressure at all he could definitely be thinking of moving too quickly.

Us guys fight off a sometimes intense urge to catch the women we feel strong towards as quickly as possible…

Especially when we believe you can have any man you want.

All in all – it doesn’t mean he loves you – the possibility is there but that’s about it.

Men who are definitely in LOVE will let you know one way or another. Their actions will prove it although their words will not always come out that way.

He could definitely be looking to see where you’re at and how you feel about him first.

Looking for some kind of reassurance is something lots of men do especially because words are not enough to believe it.

Meaning – he might feel like you’re not showing it enough which is causing him to ask hoping you’ll get the hint.

Chances are – he’s insecure. He doesn’t understand or get what’s going on.

He just doesn’t FEEL like you’re making it abundantly clear to him.

Now… a word of warning….

Guys who continually ask this question should give you lots of cause to be suspicious – not in the he’s a player or a bad guy – just that his self-esteem or confidence seems to NEED to be told – rather than just accept that a woman CAN love him.

Questions like this from any guy is NOT normally a good sign of great things to come.

Thanks for your question and I do hope you (and any woman who came here searching for an answer) have found what you were looking for to help you figure out why a guy would ask something like over and over again.

Please sign in below to the why do guys newsletter.

It will help you understand lots of things that men do. It’s quick, simple, and easy. Unlike some of the men in your past, present, or future… right?

 

(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
14 comments… add one
  • Coltz

    I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months, he decided to stop dating and then we start dating again but he’s always been hot and cold and based on that I don’t really think he takes the relationship so seriously (he respects me and everything but I mean I don’t think he is really involved or loves me back) or think that it can be long term so it confuses me that he asks these questions if I’m in love with him or If I love him and he often asks me this and act serious, I actually think I do (the only thing that makes me think otherwise is the time we’ve been dating but I feel really attached to him), but I don’t know if he wants a real answer or he’s just joking

    • Men will not-so-generally be hot and cold in the early dating phase. You’re not in a relationship with him – you’re just dating and he is not convinced on where to go from here OR if he’s ready OR if you’re the one. He’s either still deciding OR has decided but is keeping you around for the shared intimacy and possibly more.

      Two months is not normally enough time for a man to take things to a serious level. That doesn’t mean he’s not taking YOU seriously – just the relationship. Which is different.

      Now – you failed to mention when he asks you if you love him what you’re answer was to him so I can not go further with that BUT…

      As a warning – IF he’s constantly asking questions like that and not saying he loves you or making any form of commitment THEN there’s a problem. He could be waiting for you to say it first and/or feels his direction on where to takes things hinges on what your answer is. As if he’s waiting and is concerned with taking the risk himself.

      AND/OR what’s written in the post above,

      “Guys who continually ask this question should give you lots of cause to be suspicious – not in the he’s a player or a bad guy – just that his self-esteem or confidence seems to NEED to be told – rather than just accept that a woman CAN love him.

      Questions like this from any guy is NOT normally a good sign of great things to come.Guys who continually ask this question should give you lots of cause to be suspicious – not in the he’s a player or a bad guy – just that his self-esteem or confidence seems to NEED to be told – rather than just accept that a woman CAN love him.

      Questions like this from any guy is NOT normally a good sign of great things to come.”

      I firmly believe you need to find a way to discuss this with him in a positive way. Not by asking where it’s all going or where he stands in what you’re calling a relationship BUT in a way to figure out each other’s time table on when it’s appropriate to become exclusive. You need to know what his is and he needs to know what yours are – if things are not moving forward at a pace you’re accustomed to and he feels they are – then you both need to find some way to agree on someplace in the middle.

      Keeping in mind your requests must be reasonable and so must his.

      Based on my experience and in being a man – two months is NOT long enough at all. It happens but it’s rare and not something you can count on. Seems like you might be getting too far ahead of him and he keep withdrawing a little because of that as he tries to slow things down.

      Aside from all that – men must have a lot of things in place (emotionally and physically) before they’re move forward with a woman. You must learn what that is for him.

      Hope that helps you a little,
      Pete

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Array