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The ONLY Way To Spot A Real Player and If He’s Just Using You For Sex

Player Guy Use You How

"Why do guys tell you they like you, do sweet things and memorize everything you say, if they only want to sleep with you?"

The simple answer to that all too often asked question is right in it itself:  SEX and POWER over you, other women, and to build up his often frail and often fragile Ego!

That is one of the goals of a player and many of them will use your "soft" spots to achieve their supposed end-game... to sleep with you.

I'm going to show you HOW it's done so you'll know when it's being done to you, PLUS how it's so easy to be fooled by him, why it's so difficult to separate the player from the good guy, and the ONLY way you can tell if he's just looking for sex.

How it's done and the game he'll play with you.

A guy can do it (tell you they like you, do sweet things and memorize everything you say) with many women at once without you even knowing there are others.

He skills himself at remembering things, he'll make you feel like he is only saying it to you so you'll feel special, and he'll also make you believe it's not about sex because he's not "trying" so hard to get in your pants.

He might even go so far as making it a point, "I'm not like them - I'm not even trying to sleep with you!" as a clever misdirection and to make you believe he's "different".

When he does this with countless women - one or many or ALL will eventually believe him giving him an endless stream of ladies to choose from and sleep with... incidentally, what now becomes  HIS terms.

It goes like this:

Imagine a guy who meets ten women he plans on playing. He tells each one of them exactly what he believes they want to hear. He does all sorts of "nice" things to appear genuine, or not "playerish" AND he memorizes everything he can about their likes and dislikes and the conversations they shared together.

Some women will resist because it won't feel real to them. They will actually see they're probably being played but since they're not totally convinced (AND they're physically attracted to him) they "let" him do his thing... just in case.

As a woman struggling finding a good guy or figuring which one is good or out to fool you - I'm sure the last thing you want to happen is to accuse or push him away... because you could be missing out on the real deal. Sound familiar?

The longer he can keep his game up (assuming he's clever enough to still have lots of other women to choose from in the meantime - which great players ALWAYS do) the more she may believe he's actually a genuinely good guy. After all what guy would do this for an extended period of time IF he didn't mean what he was saying. No guy would give her so much attention for just sex.

At least THAT is what he wants her to believe.

It's the habit and mark of a very skilled player slash seduction artist.

Some are more skilled at seducing women quicker without regards to something more meaningful and some are more aimed at long-term seduction and spread out the odds with several different women so they're always getting it.

Many of them are skilled in both areas which makes it easier to keep up the act of telling you what you want to hear without pressuring you to have sex.

Remember, when a guy is getting it all the time with other women, he is less likely to act from his sexual attraction and can always hold out just long enough to make you believe he's in it for the long run.

Sure it might work better on women who are not so sure about themselves and would revel in the fact that a "hot" guy might be interested in them, but in my experience we ALL have soft spots where our self-esteem is not as strong (as in other areas) and the really clever player tends to focus or poke his way into those areas while showering you with compliments and attention in the areas which you're already comfortable in.

With that said, the wrong guy, KNOWS your soft spot or spots. He's clever at finding them and once he does - he can play them against you - such as going to be covered below and because (as above) knowing the last thing you want is to push one of the good guys away.

He'll reinforce your strengths while at the same time secretly playing your weakest areas which masks what he's really doing otherwise known as the art of misdirection.

That is ONE game he uses which brings up the more important question...

How can you know without a doubt if he's only saying these wonderful things just to sleep with you or if he's showing a genuine interest?

It's understandable how tough he can be to spot because...

Just because a guy is complimenting you and saying nice things could simply mean he does admire you.

Just because a guy is not begging to sleep with you doesn't mean he's playing you - he could be a respectful guy whose life doesn't revolve around his dick.

Just because he's memorizing lots of facts about you and remembers lots of things doesn't make him a bad guy - maybe he's doing it because it's something he WANTS to do to connect with you and make you feel special.

All those things above actually do and SHOULD come from a guy who wants to show you how much they care about you.

What about the SEX angle? Does that prove he's a player or not?

Not necessarily because lots of men love sex and just because they're dating a few women or sleeping with a few or having the occasional one night sand does NOT make them a player - they could be normal guys with sexual desires needing to be fulfilled and are doing it in a way which is not abusive, hurtful, or fooling any of those women.

All this leads to the inevitable but often missed conclusion in figuring out a player... OR if you're being played or not:

The ONLY way to spot a true player and if he's just using you for sex or to have sex with another woman is to dig DEEP into his CHARACTER and of course knowing if he's a type one or a type two.

Knowing his type is critical because the probability of a type two guy playing you (with intention) is practically ZERO. He doesn't know how, he's not good with women, and his game is definitely not on that level.

However a man's MORAL compass reveals all as in the questions you can ask him about below...

How does he live his life?

Who are his close friends if any and what EXACTLY he does do with them?

How does he treat those closest to him?

Is he willing to share his friends and family and his private information with you?

Does he have an odd strange ability to keep unimportant secrets from you and when you pry too much he quickly gets upset OR places blame on you for asking?

Is he a "drama king" who is often surrounded by troubled women who just don't seem to get him?  At least that's what he tells you when you accidentally bump into one.

Has he dated and slept with every girl and then called them stalkers or too crazy for him?

Does he constantly place blame on his past break ups on them - How his ex's ALWAYS were too needy, too demanding, and too much drama for him - almost like he just can NOT catch a break when it comes to "finding his dream partner" - BUT you could be it?

Does he play "poor poor me" role all to well by using your very own nice quality of being nurturing and your sincerest empathy against you so he can climb in your pants and catapult out of your life quickly because he can't handle another heartache?

Meaning - he likes to tell you it's HIM and not you - he's NOT good enough for you - he doesn't deserve a wonderful person like you - he'll only hurt if and so... he must leave - which is HIS way of getting you to open up your heart and your legs to him perhaps just to keep him around and PROVE to him how great of a person YOU think he is.

I wrote an article where you can learn all about the "poor poor me" excuse men use:

What Was His Excuse For Not Committing To You? Are They Real or Lies?

He's a "but" guy always talking about HIS future which rarely if ever includes you BUT things just don't work out for him the way he wants. More of the "po po me" shit but with a twist, he acts like he actually does want something out of life.

He also claims he's not like everyone else and how he's different when he's with you. He makes you feel like you're the only one he opens up to yet he refuses to do anything about getting in a relationship. He's on standby circling and circling and circling and never seems to land.

Players tend to steer you away from getting too much information which might reveal that he's only interested in sex. Mind you that's different from a guy who blatantly tells you or his actions are telling you he doesn't want anything more with you. In that case you're NOT being played - THAT guys is not sure, got in too quick, or is just not feeling it with you.

I give you lots of examples to determine his character in my "Understanding Men Made Simple" book you can read at not charge when you join lots of women at Why Do Guys.

Again, search for his character any way you can because it's (almost) impossible to hide.

Players reveal their hand through character flaws which might be too easy to overlook if you're not looking for it or are cleverly misdirected away by his "suave" way of convincing you he's just an upstanding (misunderstood) guy who gets a bad rap.

Be careful because again - you might miss the clues because you WANT to believe he's different and of course if you're worried you might push a good guy away.

Players reveal their hand when they "play" on your weaknesses, those soft spots I mentioned above and REAL guys just don't do that.

Players PLAY with you.

Real guys have FUN with you.

Spot the difference and you just might never have to ask the top question again,

"Why do guys tell you they like you, do sweet things and memorize everything you say, if they only want to sleep with you?"

You might have a better chance at finding a guy who will show you how much they like you, do sweet things, memorize everything about you, and sure the sex will come but it's not the only thing he'll want from you.

If you have any experience in players or have been played yourself, I want to hear about it below.

In conclusion...

I showed you just one game a player uses to sleep with you. There are many more but this one is very common.

AND it's exactly why a guy will go through all of it just to sleep with you.

When he does it with lots of women at the same time - eventually it can pay off for him and hopefully now it won't work on you.

Players end-game is to gain a little of power and a little sex too. They use their games to satisfy something thy're missing inside.

The ABSOLUTE and EASIEST way to assure you never get played is to:

NEVER give up your power out of empathy, your kindness, and your wonderful ability to nurture someone who makes you believe they need it.

A REAL man should be able to stand on his own two feet - regardless of his past experiences with women. Trust if he's had lots of troubles in the past, they didn't just disappear when you met him AND he "played" his part too - it's NEVER all them.

Do NOT sleep with him (if you want something more long-term) until you've explored:

His true moral compass - one which can not be faked.

You've met his family and friends and have interacted with them long enough.

He's not always deflecting and hiding things from you.

You've done everything in your power to learn his CHARACTER and what he's made of...

AND he's proven it to you in ways devoid of misdirection.

Remember players PLAY on your weakness while skillfully complimenting your strengths.

REAL good genuine guys are not out to prove who they are - they'll happily let you see it when you spend enough time together.

Don't forget to sign in below and learn about the two types of men - it will definitely help you spot the player from the real genuine guy.

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About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.

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This article was posted in Games Guys Play – Is He Playing You? Is He A Player? Don’t Get Fooled, The Many Types Of Guys – Understand His Type & You’ll Get The Why Too

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