Comments on: Rants About Guys – What Do You Really Hate About Men and Want Them to Know About It!

By: Peter White

Peter White — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 14:42:26 +0000

Hello Leia,

Sounds like he “trying too hard” to get you to like him. It’s a very common problem with guys and most of them don’t even realize how creepy it actually appears.

By: natoya

natoya — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 21:01:19 +0000

Ok we started off as friends. Then he told me that he had a crush on me since high school. Now we are sexually involved he doesn’t want me with any other guy he says he needs me in his life but what i hate is he has a girlfriend that he claims he loves i don’t understand men???????? Why lead me on like this make me fall in love with you confuse me then this…i hate men……. Our friendship was perfectly fine.

By: Leia

Leia — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 23:04:03 +0000

I hate how he’s all overly social with the others in front of me, but doesnt even try to approach me. When he does, he only talks about himself. But then later, when he’s not talking to me or anyone else, he stares at me all the time. It confuses me, and sometimes it creeps me out. Sometimes it confuses me even more because he’s always at the places where im at, it feels like im being followed.

By: Autumn

Autumn — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 04:21:28 +0000

I hate how he chased me, flirted with me, figured out/told me what I wanted to hear, made overtly sexual comments to me, and told me he wanted to date me for the better part of a year. He repeatedly trifled with my emotions, knowing he was being manipulative–telling me he couldn’t date me because of the company’s anti-fraternization policy. In actuality, he—and management—conveniently overlook the policy so he could get serious with one of the managers (a woman who has a repeat habit of fraternizing within the employee pool of subordinates)….and now they’re engaged! Not at all the kind of guy I thought I was dealing with—what a self-serving player. I’m sure he tells his fiancée I’m the one who chased him all along…and I’m sure she would rather believe that, than think otherwise of “Mr. Wonderful.” Luckily, I dodged a bullet, but resent the games he played—and continued to try to play as recently as September—with me.

By: kara

kara — Tue, 23 Sep 2014 03:50:18 +0000

I hate how he acts like its his right to stare yet gets mad when I reject him. maybe if he treated me like a human being and not a toy I would have some more respect for him but he refuses.

By: Eleanor

Eleanor — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 17:41:38 +0000

I hate how how still talks to me behind his girlfriend’s back. How he knows he’s not cheating and he’s smug about it, yet he’s not being truthful to her. He shouldn’t keep the fact that he’s talking to his ex a secret. Either not talk to your ex and tell your girlfriend. Problem solved.

By: Eleanor

Eleanor — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 17:39:53 +0000

I hate how rude guys are in public when they’re with their friends. When they wolf whistle, or blatantly stare at your boobs, or make a comment just to make themselves look good in front of their friends. It’s very childish and really puts women off.

By: Autumn

Autumn — Thu, 11 Sep 2014 04:50:16 +0000

Wow, Pete; I wonder if his ears are burning?? Funny thing about my rant is that by nature, I am known among my colleagues, family and friends as being the very calm, cool, collected and patient one. No one would ever know it by my post! Probably didn’t help that I wrote this right after I found out about his shady ways, and assume he pulls this behind his GF’s back too often. Guess he really got under my skin: don’t know if I should laugh or cringe!
Autumn

By: Autumn

Autumn — Sat, 06 Sep 2014 04:59:50 +0000

Hi Pete! I’m not sure if you remember my situation from late April when I first wrote to you about my dilemma, but you invited me to follow-up to give updates and get more of your advice if I needed it. PETE, I DO NEED YOUR ADVICE AND THOUGHTS.
So, my situation is that I’m a single mom of 2 and the man who works in my apartment community is a single dad of 2, and he has a much younger son with another woman. He initiated flirtations with me very shortly after we met in January…and I reciprocated his flirtations once I realized he was interested in me as a more than a friend or acquaintance. Sometimes, his flirting has been very direct (HE referenced having sex, he has teased “don’t tempt me,” or he’s “too tempted,” commenting on a couple of my “assets” when stopping to talk to me while I was in the hot-tub, etc) but most of the time his flirting was just sweet (you look nice, you’re a smart lady, I like when you wear your hair up….) I couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t asking me out on a date, since he was making his interest obvious, and I was letting him know it was mutual. Then, he told me there was a work policy against fraternizing with residents and/or other staff. He followed-it-up by hinting that he would like to eventually find a different job and said, “if I worked somewhere else, then you and I could date.” We both agreed we didn’t like the company’s rules, but then he said “rules are made to be broken….” I had given him my cell and private email to see if he was just giving me a line, or if he really wanted to see if I was open to getting to know each other outside of his job. (He never contacted me and that was fine…I figured can’t blame the guy not wanting to risk his job–especially as a single dad).
So, he still continued seeking me out and talking with me and some flirting…then he’d retreat and I couldn’t figure out if he was just keeping himself in line, if he was reprimanded, or going into his “man cave” to think/reflect, getting spooked with the idea of getting involved, or what. This pattern went on for a while. Late June, he started calling me “sweetie” and had a nickname for me. He never missed a chance to say hi/bye and talk when he had a minute in his truck or when he ran into me. He consistently initiated helping me (like if I had the hood up on my car, he’d ask if I needed a hand….or similar things—which I always made a point of thanking him and letting him know I appreciated how he looks out for me). In July, his behavior changed and he began avoiding me. He would still ask me about apartment-related things like work requests. I did ask him if I did something to make him uncomfortable and he said, “no, not at all.” I mentioned that I noticed he was not acting “quite like himself” and he said everything is good/fine; kids are good/fine–so I took him at his word. The strangest thing is that he would not talk with me unless another co-worker was with him and then it was super-brief. Also, when I did ask for help, he looked at me briefly, looked down and then to his co-worker who quickly offered to help me. So, best I could figure is that he got in trouble for us getting too friendly with one another.
Well, I just found out this morning that HE HAS BEEN IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS YOUNGEST SON….they likely live together, with all 3 of the kids between both of them! Pete…I’m utterly shocked and did not see this coming. This man has rarely talked about his youngest boy….he’s never mentioned the woman/the boy’s mom aside from one instance when I asked if his youngest son liked sports. He said, “oh yeah, in fact he was at a tournament with me Saturday morning. His mom got him later and I think he spent some time over at her parents’ house.” He totally talked liked they shared visitation…but NEVER referred to her as his girlfriend/lady, etc. He essentially lied by omission for the past 8 months we’ve known each other!
Not only am I upset for his long-term girlfriend (I would never have been flirting with a man in a committed relationship), but Pete, I feel betrayed and hurt/stung. I was the woman who decided to wait until my youngest finished high school (that will be in 11 years) before dating again. I missed having a special man in my life, or at least a dating relationship, but was afraid to take that risk again from being burned in different ways before. This man entered my life when I wasn’t looking for a man. He caught my interest from the first time we met by initiating telling me intimate things about his struggles in his marriage and as a single dad, that I really related to. He’s been on my mind for the better part of this year, and I thought he was a good, decent, honorable man with his priorities set on his kids, working hard to provide for them, religious values, good relationship with his parents, etc. Those are the qualities that attracted me and drew me in to want to get to know him better…and to take the risk of flirting back with him, when it’s not typically in my nature to be that bold.
Pete, what did I miss here? And why would a single dad take advantage by leading me on when he knows some of my vulnerabilities from my divorce situation and as a single mom???? Why would he do this?: Unhappy in his relationship? Wanting an ego boost from the attention I gave him? Tempted, but wanting to remain faithful to his long-term girlfriend? To see if he’s “still got it?” What else could there be?
How do you recommend I handle this? I am NOT going to continue to flirt, if he resumes that. He does not know that I KNOW he’s in a relationship (he may have been acting weird over a guilty conscience or may be paranoid that I somehow know, but I think he’s been avoiding me because his supervisor likely talked to him about having nothing to do with me). I’m tempted to keep this info under my hat and be direct with him if he tries flirting again. Although, I am angry and hurt and am going to have to work at just being polite/friendly, knowing what I do know. And where does “guy code” fit into this picture? I mean, his co-workers, particularly one of his good friends would know he has a girlfriend. Since I’m on good terms with his co-workers and they are always nice to me and know some of the basics of my situation, have known me longer and know I’m a nice person—does that always take a back seat to “guy code” and not letting-on when a man is playing a woman?
Pete, I’m sure you can tell by my post that I am upset by this. I know there are tens of thousands of women/men who have been in a similar situation (getting involved with someone who hid the fact they were in a serious relationship). I’m hurting over taking the risk to come out of my shell, only to have my shell broken—and knowing I will go right back in my shell to hide after this experience. Do “nice girls” finish last??? I’d like to make him eat his heart out….show him what he missed out on by screwing-up/lying/manipulating—what makes the biggest impression on a guy who’s behaved like this?
Thanks for reading and for any advice you can give me.
Autumn

By: fed up

fed up — Sat, 02 Aug 2014 00:52:01 +0000

i really dislike the way he doesn’t follow through with plans that he had suggested a couple of days ago? i don’t get it he seemed interested by giving me compliments each time we saw each other, always in contact via text or phone calls during the week, and we kissed a couple of times….i give up on him.