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Is He Confusing You? How To Get A Real Answer To All Your Questions About Men

Peter White

It's hard to believe I've been answering personal questions about guys for well over six years now. Thousands of women have come here looking for an answer and courageously left their heart in hopes of getting an open, honest, and REAL answer to their "man" problem(s).

What started out as a simple "nice" gesture for women who kept visiting DiaLteg TM and asking ME  for advice - eventually turned into this lovely site; which has now evolved into something I believe is really special plus free from the clutter and cookie-cutter responses my nemesis magazines sites offer you.

(DiaLteG TM is my site where I teach men natural attraction.)

Throughout the years I've formulated some very interesting material on men based on my own (male) experiences, going deep into all the why's behind men and what makes them tick,  along the countless hours of research and strange ability of mine to be objective and see things others may easily miss - especially when they're in the middle of it all.

This is of course led to me a firm belief of what I've now quoted as a simple understanding of men BUT along with that came the many problems associated with any new theory or belief or "unique" perspective.

For example:

I THINK and somewhat believe I figured out how men fall in love - or what has to happen for him to feel emotional love BUT another problem arises:

There's no clear definition of LOVE that is consistent among men and love has many different forms.

(Such as how even though there's only one word to describe it in English - it's obvious a man's love for his Mother is different than the love he feels for his children which is different from what he experiences with a woman he is sexually and emotionally intimate with over a period of time.)

But enough of all that...

This page was created in the beginning as a place where a woman can get an honest, upfront, objective answer about any specific guy in their life OR where you can leave question about men in general to help you understand, connect, and possibly attract a better man into your life.

Little did I know (not counting the thousand comments on posts) I'd be looking and trying to get through a single page with over 700 comments.

Quite the daunting task as you imagine.

What I've now decided to do is find a way to break down all the questions and answers into separate pages and delete them from here so it's continually fresh and easier to get through. (Wish me luck!)

That way you can search for something similar to what you'r going through without having to expose your personal information or heart publicly AND if a question is interesting to you - you can give it a read and perhaps use the advice in your own personal life with men.

Yes - this page will now or very soon be once again OPEN to anyone who wants to leave a question BUT...

I can NOT do what I have done in the past. I have a businesses to run and a family to enjoy my time with and I don't want to promise you more than I can give.

I can give you personal consultations with very detailed answers based on a very strict selection process where a fee will have to be paid up in advance. (More info on that is coming.) 

I will be choosing random questions to answer here and sometimes I'll feature them in a post.

Here's your opportunity to leave what's on your mind about a guy or men in general.

UPDATE: Due to the NOW NEW PAID MEMBERSHIP at Why Do Guys and The Silent Man Series - I WILL be offering limited PAID advice or personal questions answered as part of the membership - I still do my best to answer your questions here on and the blog but I'm sorry to say they will have to come first.

You can sign up for that feature here but please read the rules because they are very important.

Thank you for everything and if you don't want to buy the membership, you can still pick up my book (kindle version) on Amazon.

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(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )

About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.

478 comments… add one
  • Bridget

    Hi Pete,
    6 weeks ago my boyfriend of just over a year broke up with me because I went to university 6 hours away from where we lived. He broke up with me very suddenly during a video call in which we kind of had a fight but said he still loved me. It was two weeks away from the end of the year where I would be home for good during the summer. We met up a couple of weeks ago and he said he felt like he was holding me back at uni and that he misses me and doesn’t want to be with anyone else. I’m so confused because we both know now that we can be happy and do our own thing at uni and then still be happy together as we see each other every fortnight. He said he knows he couldn’t have broken up with me in person because we get on too well. I’m meeting up with him tomorrow and i have already told him a couple of days ago in a text how I miss him and know we can make it work- is him agreeing to meet up again to talk about it a good sign and if so should I just tell him everything? Help!

    • Hi Bridget,

      Yes, tell him everything. Talk it out. Find out the “real” reasons why he broke it off with you. Is it really because he’s worried he’s holding you back? That may be part of the reason but I highly doubt it’s the biggest reason.

      To me it sounds like he’s not into having a long distance relationship because he’s worried one of you will stray and with the time apart, your new adventures, it will ultimately mean you’ll both grow apart. Aside from that, I guarantee there’s more going on then you believe or that’s he’s been willing to admit.

      YOU might feel like, “…we both know now that we can be happy and do our own thing at uni and then still be happy together as we see each other every fortnight.” but it’s quite obvious he doesn’t feel the same way even if he’s said it. Otherwise there wouldn’t be a problem, right?

      Now… what does it mean when a guy says he feels like he’s holding you back? THAT question needs to be answered. It’s kind of important here. It could mean he truly loves you and wants you to pursue your dreams despite him. He’s encouraging you to move on to bigger and better things. (This encouragement as it relates to a guy loving you is covered in my recently newsletter which you can read here: Does he Love You?).

      In this context the “bigger and better” things really means “bigger and better than him” – at least so how it feels to him. You must explore that issue with him in the most positive way possible.

      You two are in two different places and at different times. He wants something NOW and he wants it with you. Timing and circumstance are getting in the way. It may be that since he can not get what he wants without hurting you or your chances to build something wonderful for yourself, he’s stepping aside to let it happen. These things happen often at a younger age. THAT needs to be discussed with him also. What does he want right now? He needs to be honest with you. He you need to get it out of him so the truth can be said. From there – the differences or problems can be worked out.

      Your best way to approach all the communication I’ve asked you to do so far is to come at him with respect and admiration. Let him see you value his “smart” opinion. Let him see and understand more than just his opinions matter to you, but that you strive to LEARN from his mind.

      Lastly… of course it’s a good sign. Nothing here tells me he doesn’t still love you. That’s not why the breakup happened. His feelings for you just didn’t disappear and they won’t anytime soon.

      Hope that helps you sort it all out and best of luck – don’t forget to let me know how it all goes for you.

      Your guy friend,
      Pete

  • Winter

    I need clarity on something:

    Men say all of the time that it matters most how a guy feels when he is around you. Okay, fine. But what is the difference between that and [just] being his ego boost?

    There is a guy who I know felt really good around me (we had a connection/chemistry that was really sweet and deep and it’s not in my mind – you can feel it when it’s authentic, as can others). So, what differentiates between the women who get the guy because they feel amazing around us and the women who just become the guy’s ego boost?

  • Mareshah Owens

    Hi Peter,
    There’s this guy that has been staring at me since our Freshmen year of college, we are now Juniors. Freshman year I would be walking in the quad on campus with my friends and I would look up and find him staring at me in the eyes, while he’s with his friends. I would stare back at him but eventually look away and pay attention to my friends again. This would continue on for the whole year.
    Jump to Sophomore year, I got a job for the school and I would work the morning shift. I would see him as I’m hanging posters and he would stare at me in the eyes. I would hold his eye contact for like five seconds or more and look away to the front of me, other times I would hold his eye contact until we walk pass by each other and sometimes I could tell he was staring at me but I wouldn’t look over at him. He makes me nervous.!! Again this continued throughout the whole year.
    Now present time: The first and second day of Junior year I see him again and the same ritual goes on where we hold eye contact. The third day is where it switches up. We haven’t really spoken to each other, other than the time I gave him a loaner key to his dorm because I work in student life, this is also how I found out what his name is. He came into student life and we say hello to each other, after I say hello he acts as if he was going to start with what he came into the office about but fidgets and he asks me “How you doing” in that very attractive “guy voice”.
    Now my question is what should I do to let him know that I am interested? I realized that I should have been smiling at him all those times that we held eye contact, but he makes me nervous. Should I just say hello to him next or should I just give him my number, since its been so long that this has been going on? Please help.

    • Hi Mareshah,

      Thanks for asking.

      Your problem is easy to solve. He’s a “classic” type two guy and as I cover and explain with details in my book you get (when you sign up) – he’s not the type to move forward because he’s a little insecure, doesn’t know WHAT to do, and as you saw for yourself, just doesn’t realize you’re interested in him.

      He’s not doing anything about you because he’s afraid of getting rejected and doesn’t know how to progress from eye contact to dating with a random stranger.

      In my book I also reveal HOW to get a guy like this to actually DO something about his attraction for you. Something to compel him to act rather than sit back and wait for something to happen.

      I will say it has to be done right but I’ll give you a quick tip you can use:

      TELL him you’re interested in NOTHING more. Seriously. Do NOT take on the role of pursuer. Do not chase him. Don’t hold his hand. Don’t take away his “masculine” role and you’ll end up with the same guy who is afraid of women in his own little way.

      Compliment him in any way which is not too strange and creepy BUT lets him know you’re open, available, and ALL he has to do is STEP UP HIS GAME and a date might be possible.

      MAKE him FEEL like a type one and we just might start acting like one.

      Don’t give him your number unless he has the “balls” to ask and exchange his with you.

      Don’t worry about the time – it literally means nothing to a guy. Seriously, he could be dreaming about you fifteen years later as the one that got away and I wouldn’t blink twice to hear him tell me about it.

      That’s the way guys are!

      Next time you see him – Tell him something you truly like about him that’s not superficial or, if you can help it, not too random.

      Throw in a little humor so he smiles and you’re in.

      Trust that when a guy believes a woman is into him AND makes him laugh AND you smile too – he’ll either get it or squirm away AND if that’s the case; just be done with him already because you can not change him or give him something he needs to find himself.

      AND please let me know how it goes – would love to hear how it all plays out.

      Your guy friend,
      Pete

  • Nia Olivas

    Hi Pete,
    So I have this guy friend he is my ex and we have our differences but we put that behind us mostly because im over him and he I think is over me because he has had 2 other girlfriends after me but not so long ago we became friends again maybe 2-4 weeks ago (and we broke up in dec of 2018 and haven’t really talked since cuz of our fight) but we became friends again and he has been coming to me telling me his feelings abd supposedly he has depression and is bipolar so I have been giving him advice and cheering up and giving in speeches to be happy etc. and he has been coming to me a lot but every once in a while he can get so rude and mean to mean he treats me like im crap and have ruined is life after I did nothing but this time I was joking around with him saying “I have a hard time believing that he has a six pack and stuff” then he went off on me he said ”f**k you and that he goes to the gym every day to stay in shape and that I pi**ed him off” and I apologized saying that “im sorry that I said that and I feel bad and I should of said that” and he responds with “k” or “mk” and he never says that stuff and like I don’t know why he just goes off on me like that every once in a while its like we waits for a reason to go off on me and so I was wondering if you could explain or try to explain why he does that stuff after I have helped him countless times?
    from nia

    • Nia,

      I’m not a therapist who specializes in these things (depression/bipolar) so I’ll keep this short and please take it for what it’s worth because it’s more of my opinion.

      When you’re in the help business (personal or professionally) you are opening yourself up to be the brunt of their anger. He’s saying these things to let it all out and since you’re the one who is taking it, it will continue.

      You mustn’t connect “helping someone” with reward. It just doesn’t work that way.

      If you EVER find yourself being belittled, bullied, and mentally abused – it is your right and responsibility to REMOVE yourself from the source… which is him. You’re not his counselor, you’re not his drug prescription, you’re not being paid to help him out AND you might not have the skills or education to do so.

      If you want to help someone out of the kindest of your heart then unfortunately, it means opening your heart and feelings which also means being strong enough to not take the outbursts personally. He’s making it personal with you because you were involved and he knows what buttons to push. Which is why a non-involved person or persons should be doing that stuff and not you.

      If you want to learn how people like that act – there are lots of reliable sources to show you and knowing where it comes can alleviate some of the pain you’re suffering BUT…

      Without certain communication skills you are more open to getting hurt, yes, just by trying to be nice and helping someone out. AND you’ll find yourself always on guard about what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and if you ask me – that’s doesn’t amount to a very healthy relationship for either of you. Even if it’s just now a friendship.

      Lastly – again – you have EVERY right to walk away IF you’re being hurt by someone. REMOVE yourself.

      Sorry for your troubles and all the best to you,

      Pete

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