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Why Do Guys…?

Is He Confusing You? How To Get A Real Answer To All Your Questions About Men

Peter White

It's hard to believe I've been answering personal questions about guys for well over six years now. Thousands of women have come here looking for an answer and courageously left their heart in hopes of getting an open, honest, and REAL answer to their "man" problem(s).

What started out as a simple "nice" gesture for women who kept visiting DiaLteg TM and asking ME  for advice - eventually turned into this lovely site; which has now evolved into something I believe is really special plus free from the clutter and cookie-cutter responses my nemesis magazines sites offer you.

(DiaLteG TM is my site where I teach men natural attraction.)

Throughout the years I've formulated some very interesting material on men based on my own (male) experiences, going deep into all the why's behind men and what makes them tick,  along the countless hours of research and strange ability of mine to be objective and see things others may easily miss - especially when they're in the middle of it all.

This is of course led to me a firm belief of what I've now quoted as a simple understanding of men BUT along with that came the many problems associated with any new theory or belief or "unique" perspective.

For example:

I THINK and somewhat believe I figured out how men fall in love - or what has to happen for him to feel emotional love BUT another problem arises:

There's no clear definition of LOVE that is consistent among men and love has many different forms. (Such as how even though there's only one word describe it in English - it's obvious a man's love for his Mother is different than the love he feels for his children which is different from what he experiences with a woman he is sexually and emotionally intimate with over a period of time.)

But enough of all that...

This page was created in the beginning as a place where a woman can get an honest, upfront, objective answer about any specific guy in their life OR where you can leave question about men in general to help you understand, connect, and possibly attract a better man into your life.

Little did I know (not counting the thousand comments on posts) I'd be looking and trying to get through a single page with over 700 comments.

Quite the daunting task as you imagine.

What I've now decided to do is find a way to break down all the questions and answers into separate pages and delete them from here so it's continually fresh and easier to get through. (Wish me luck!)

That way you can search for something similar to what you'r going through without having to expose your personal information or heart publicly AND if a question is interesting to you - you can give it a read and perhaps use the advice in your own personal life with men.

Yes - this page will now or very soon be once again OPEN to anyone who wants to leave a question BUT...

I can NOT do what I have done in the past. I have a businesses to run and a family to enjoy my time with and I don't want to promise you more than I can give.

I can give you personal consultations with very detailed answers based on a very strict selection process where a fee will have to be paid up in advance. (More info on that is coming.) 

I will be choosing random questions to answer here and sometimes I'll feature them in a post.

Here's your opportunity to leave what's on your mind about a guy or men in general.

475 comments… add one
  • Samantha

    I met this guy in a class of mine and he was nice. He is shy, and gave your typical shy guy signs that he was interested. Due to the class situation we were in, it was super hard to have a conversation with him, but all in all we’ve had enough conversations to be aware of each other’s existence, so I’m talking five or six convos. Long story short, my friend let it slip that I had a crush on this guy, which I did not intend to happen. I haven’t seen him in a long one due to circumstances, but I sent him a message to clear things up and apologize. He said it’s okay and that he understands but in regards to me liking him, this was his response “I don’t want to rush into a relationship with someone I’m not already good friends with but I wouldn’t be opposed to being friends first and stuff.” So I’ve been stuck trying to figure out whether he means friends first then see what happens or if that was rejection?

    Also, I sent him a message in reply to his message, and he never replied to it, I’m not even sure he saw it.

    So what do you think is going on?

    • Peter White

      Hello Samantha,

      By all means tell your friend I’m upset with her and to never do that again. 🙂

      Please don’t apologize for her to him. He probably only saw it as you finding a reason to see if he likes you back. I realize it already happened but just felt I’d share how it could’ve backfired.

      My gut honestly tells me it was a rejection in the nicest way possible. They happen.

      Now that is not to say something won’t happen. Some guys take forever before they realize they’re attracted to someone. Friendships occasionally do turn into something more. It’s just not something to rely on unless you almost immediately change your tactics and the dynamics of the situation and work from that point. ( Probably only works because it’s better than just being friends and hoping something happening which barely ever give results.)

      Just please don’t build your life around the possibility of something happening.

      And certainly make sure you are exploring lots of other options.

      Thanks for writing and hope your friend keeps her mouth shut next time and allows you to do things your way, HAha!

      All the best to you,

      Pete

  • Yvonne

    Hi Pete,

    How are you? I need your advice. So I just met this guy online like 2 days ok. Seems like a very nice person, but maybe it’s me he just seems to be moving to fast. He told me a lot about himself which is ok, but he wants to know like my entire life history. Past relationships, all about my work, family, etc. I’m not cool with telling someone zi just met online my entire life story. Even with guys I’ve dated in the past didn’t move that fast. I must admit we do share many common interest. What are your thoughts?

    I’m new to the online dating thing and would love to here your feedback.

    Thanks and have a Great Day!

    Yvonne

    • Peter White

      Hi Yvonne,

      I’m doing absolutely wonderful. 🙂

      What about you? How’s your family? Have you ever been married? Do You want kids? What do you do for a living? 😀

      Seriously… Haha!

      Be wary of guys who move too fast or guys who ask questions like that. Not because it’s not a nice thing to do but I believe they need to learn a few communication skills to really know HOW to (and with) talk to women.

      Now I’m sure he’s probably just a nice guy who thinks this is what he’s supposed to do BUT never feel like you have to tell him everything.

      There are ways in which we, guys and gals, exchange information and learn about each other which are far more rewarding and fun and perhaps, he needs to learn this skill.

      I wouldn’t put him down for it. Just keep it all in mind and never let a guy move this fast. Back away. Change the subject. Talk about “other” things and make sure you set up a safe face to face meeting BEFORE you get too deep with him.

      And I WILL have a great night,

      Pete

      • Yvonne aka Blessed247

        Hi Pete,

        Happy Wednesday!!! Thanks so much for the advice. I’ll let you know how things go.

        Have A a Great Day!

        Yvonne aka “Blessed247”

  • Greenky

    Hi Peter, thanks for your sharing these valuable pieces of information about guys and your personal experience, I’m sure a lot of confused women appreciate you for this, it really helps to gain more control over our emotions in the most intense moments with guys..
    I have a general question. After reading to articles one after another I feel completely puzzled and confused. First article is “how guys experience love – your respect and admiration is the key”, and another one – of Cristian Carter, I don’t remember the title, but the general idea is that telling a guy about your feelings is a turn off.. How this two approaches can be integrated together at the same time ? Admiration without telling about feelings? I feel really stupid.. Having actually big time troubles with men, since I’m not beatiful and the right behavior is my key to success. And what would you advice, if I appeared to loose that moment of natural spark, trying not to be so easy and supposed to make him work a little bit more, which caused him to grow cold. I did it bc the last guy dumped me when I was most vulnerable and full of admiration. Is the right strategy really that important or ” you can’t do wrong with the right person” is more likely the truth here? I’m really tired of being someone I’m not. Im direct and assertive, I like to tell guys what they should do to please me, I tried not to, just passively waiting for their moves, and it doesn’t work! They just don’t chase me..

    • Peter White

      Hi Greenky,

      I believe the two articles you mentioned were: How Men Feel Love, Your Admiration and Respect Is Key To His Happiness by James Bauer and Christian’s A Secret About Men Women Do Not Know – The Paradox Of Attraction. (Both are at “The Approach”)

      I can understand how this information can be confusing.

      Okay first, there’s nothing wrong with telling a guy how you feel BUT he’ll respond better when you show it. What Christian was staying was one, if you tell a guy how you feel and he’s not feeling it too, it won’t work.

      You see, men and women tend to become more insecure when they’re falling in love or attraction IF they’re not sure the other person feels the same. If THOSE feelings of insecurity cause you to let it all out hoping you won’t lose the man, THAT is (generally) when things can go terribly wrong.

      In other words do NOT act out of insecurity or believe you can change how a guy feels just because you’re letting him know how you feel. It doesn’t work that way.

      Secondly, passively waiting is not the best thing to do. You must be active, not waiting, and never sit around hoping he’ll make a move. You want to lure him in physically or sexually.

      Third there’s nothing wrong with being direct and assertive. I would actually use that to your advantage in dating.

      This means you’ll go after the dates, live fully and do things where you going to meet more men. Just be doing that shows your assertiveness and your directness comes through when a guy realizes you’re not into playing games. These are YOUR traits, use them for yourself, and allow guys to experience the real you. You just can’t take the lead in dating or the attraction part. There is where the man feels the need to lead. OR at least where he should 🙂

      Now I wouldn’t go telling a guy on the first few dates what he should do to please you but in bed, later, you can definitely feel good about doing that IF you think he needs the encourage or road map. 😉

      Honestly Greenky, Besides what I wrote I just think you have to find a balance which works for you. You can’t be hard to get all the time. You can’t make him work for you all the time. It’s a delicate balance but once you learn it, works amazingly well. Just play with it a little until you find one which works for YOU specifically. Trust me I had to learn the balance too and it took a little bit of work but was worth every failure along the way.

      It sounds like you’re actually trying too hard because you think you’re not beautiful. Keep in mind within every woman lives a sexual edge to her. Of course not all men will respond to every type of woman but what you might not see as sexy or beautiful, I’m positive there is many men who would argue with you. When sexiness becomes a combination of your looks and attitude you’re onto to something.

      Hope all this helps you out and sorry for the confusion. All the best to you,

      Pete

  • k

    Hi there – wondering your opinion on why some men can’t handle it when their girl gets more attention from anyone (not other men, just friends, family, etc.)? I had a 5+ year relationship with the most wonderful guy who I am still head over heels in love with… but when we would go to parties or to meet friends when we dated, and even now occasionally as friends he says I represent him well … but when the group start to flock to me vs. him he SAYS I make him proud and how everyone including him loves me but he gets sullen and eventually will get upset with me for something trivial and seemingly unconnected. I always try to include him, present ourselves as a team, and put the focus back to him when I notice it… and then we can all share the convo or whatever is going on. I am assertive, and well spoken – we are both fairly well read and sucessful… but I don’t consider myself to be ‘stealing’ the limelight or purposely trying to hog attention… trying to get wiser.

    Before we split up he kept accusing me of humiliating him in front of his friends, trying to ‘steal his friends’ etc. Is that emasculating him? Embarrasing him? I try to be very conscious of this but I’ve been trying to understand why he feels this way. He is very emotionally mature in almost all aspects. I want to maintain our friendship and not make the same mistake again… It was a long term, bi coastal romance which doesn’t help. He’s tall, good looking and used to lots of attention. I am petite and probably over compensate for that 🙂 How can I not emasculate him without acquising myself and being submissive? Would really value your opinion. So glad I found your site! Thanks~ k

    • Peter White

      Hi there K,

      Sounds like he has something deeper going on here.

      You said he’s tall, good looking and is used to lots of attention so just maybe he hasn’t developed other parts of his personality which he feels deserves the attention.

      Good looking people who are used to the attention will often grow to despise it because they don’t feel people are willing to get to know them before they judge. They assume they have to work harder to prove themselves because others assume, just because they’re good looking they get handed things to them.

      So… he’s used to getting all the attention and probably doesn’t like it when he’s not the center of it all. Instead of taking responsibility he takes it as a personal judgement against him or how someone is stealing his fame.

      He gets angry to get the attention directed back towards him.

      Quite honestly it sounds like a part of him hasn’t matured. Like there’s a part of his self-esteem which is slightly broken or built up through false confidence. But I’m not one to decide or determine that fully from my view.

      All I can say is that he’s definitely directing the attention back his way by starting a fight with you. Why he acts this way has and was determined in his life from child to adult.

      You can use proper communication skills on him, something I can’t teach you especially in a comment area but guys like this you either: Learn to deal with it. Understand it’s who he is. Acknowledge his attempt at attention and how it makes him feel. Meet him half way. BUT I wouldn’t start treating him like you have done something wrong. It HIS problem that he hasn’t learned how to deal with it.

      I’m sure if you get to the root of his problem or why he acts this way, based on what I’ve told you, you just might get him to see how it makes YOU feel and hopefully from there you can compromise a solution which works for both of you.

      Again, just my opinion and you asked 🙂

      I’m also glad you found my site, now go tell your friends because this site needs attention too 😀

      All the best,

      Pete

  • Emma

    Hi Pete,
    This is just a random question. Well, I’m concerned. So a close friend of mine has been dating her boyfriend for 6 years without having sex with him. Yep! She said she told him @ the beginning of their relationship that she wants to get married first. But, what I want to know is , is it possible for the guy to remain faithful to her for that long and not cheat because he loves her even if he is attracted to her? Thanks

    • Peter White

      Hi Emma,

      Awesome question!

      I would say it IS possible but highly unlikely. I wouldn’t put it past a guy to go that long with someone they truly love without some form of sex AND I’m sure it drives him a little crazy now and then, BUT people and the strength they have amaze me everyday.

      So I won’t go judging this guy. It IS possible.

      I can only tell you I have met very few men who could endure that long and I am certainly one of them. Then again I wouldn’t get involved with a woman, at least commit to her if she told me that early on. It would be a deal breaker.

      If you’re questioning him, look at his character, his morals, and definitely look into what they’re actually doing together. If they’re sexual and helping each other out AND he has high ended character values, then it’s very probable he’s remaining faithful until they get married.

      Thank you so much for sharing, love it!

      Pete

      • Emma

        Hi Pete,
        Thanks, that helps a bit. Fingers crossed that’s the case. 🙂

  • Malione Dixon

    Hi Pete,
    Glad your back, I was so happy to see your email notification in my feeds.
    Please can I ask your advice. I meet this guy a year ago. And I felt like we had a connection, but after few days he said he doesn’t want anything too serious but we can talk and enjoy each other company. I told him I was looking for a little bit more comment. But after that he blocked me, and illiterate stop talking to me. After a while he unblocked me and came up with some some story as why he blocked me. Fast forward i texted him out the blue and at first he was very respective and wanted to talk, than he asked me for a picture. He said it doesn’t have to be X-rated. He sent me a video and following that he just blocked me out the blue blocked me. I have no idea what I said or did.

    • Peter White

      Hi Malione,

      What I see is a man who is playing you in an attempt to get something physical from you and nothing else. Hence the game playing and mixed signals.

      He was honest about what he was looking for – nothing too serious so I would trust that is exactly what his intentions are with you.

      It’s nothing you did – it’s just the way it is. Personally I would stay away from any man who blocks you, unblocks you, and then blocks you again. It’s not really a good start to an open line of communication. PLUS him asking for a picture of you is also not a good sign of great things to come.

      Hope that clears up everything for you,
      Pete

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