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Why Do Guys…?

Is He Confusing You? How To Get A Real Answer To All Your Questions About Men

Peter White

It’s hard to believe I’ve been answering personal questions about guys for well over six years now. Thousands of women have come here looking for an answer and courageously left their heart in hopes of getting an open, honest, and REAL answer to their “man” problem(s).

What started out as a simple “nice” gesture for women who kept visiting DiaLteg TM and asking ME  for advice – eventually turned into this lovely site; which has now evolved into something I believe is really special plus free from the clutter and cookie-cutter responses my nemesis magazines sites offer you.

(DiaLteG TM is my site where I teach men natural attraction.)

Throughout the years I’ve formulated some very interesting material on men based on my own (male) experiences, going deep into all the why’s behind men and what makes them tick,  along the countless hours of research and strange ability of mine to be objective and see things others may easily miss – especially when they’re in the middle of it all.

This is of course led to me a firm belief of what I’ve now quoted as a simple understanding of men BUT along with that came the many problems associated with any new theory or belief or “unique” perspective.

For example:

I THINK and somewhat believe I figured out how men fall in love – or what has to happen for him to feel emotional love BUT another problem arises:

There’s no clear definition of LOVE that is consistent among men and love has many different forms. (Such as how even though there’s only one word describe it in English – it’s obvious a man’s love for his Mother is different than the love he feels for his children which is different from what he experiences with a woman he is sexually and emotionally intimate with over a period of time.)

But enough of all that…

This page was created in the beginning as a place where a woman can get an honest, upfront, objective answer about any specific guy in their life OR where you can leave question about men in general to help you understand, connect, and possibly attract a better man into your life.

Little did I know (not counting the thousand comments on posts) I’d be looking and trying to get through a single page with over 700 comments.

Quite the daunting task as you imagine.

What I’ve now decided to do is find a way to break down all the questions and answers into separate pages and delete them from here so it’s continually fresh and easier to get through. (Wish me luck!)

That way you can search for something similar to what you’r going through without having to expose your personal information or heart publicly AND if a question is interesting to you – you can give it a read and perhaps use the advice in your own personal life with men.

Yes – this page will now or very soon be once again OPEN to anyone who wants to leave a question BUT…

I can NOT do what I have done in the past. I have a businesses to run and a family to enjoy my time with and I don’t want to promise you more than I can give.

I can give you personal consultations with very detailed answers based on a very strict selection process where a fee will have to be paid up in advance. (More info on that is coming.) 

I will be choosing random questions to answer here and sometimes I’ll feature them in a post.

Here’s your opportunity to leave what’s on your mind about a guy or men in general.

471 comments… add one
  • Jessica

    What does he real mean when he said “I’m finding it hard not being able to see you” ?

    • Peter White

      Hello Jessica,

      I have to assume a few things about your situation. One that you’re not able to see each other as often as he would like and two, he wants something more with you. And three you’re in somewhat of a committed relationship with him.

      Based on that I would say he’s actually considering breaking up because he wants more and is finding it very difficult to enjoy the relationship, when you’re not there as often as he’d like.

      SO… “I’m finding it hard not being able to see you” can easily mean,

      “I don’t like where this relationship is going because I want to see you more and I can’t. I want something more real. To be able to touch you when I want. A hug. A kiss. Something more tangible than a phone call or some texting. “

      He’s finding it hard to give 100% to whatever you have together when he can’t see you AND is questioning whether or not it’s going to work out.

      He’s probably also telling you something “else” has to happen to make this work. What that is can depend on the nature of your relationship.

      Hope that helps you a little. Wishing you the best,

      Pete

  • Raven Roth

    i, guys! Sorry to make you feel so weird about my question. I have a problem. I’m a college student. And I have a handsome lecturer in my campus. This lecturer taught me. He is very cool, but one thing that I don’t understand he likes to stare at me for a long time. When I stare back at him, he doesn’t even look away. He is married and has 2 kids. At the first day he taught me, he didn’t wear his wedding ring. After 3 times he taught me, he wore his wedding ring, but looked so doubtful when he saw his ring. Then the next day he walked into the class, he didn’t wear his ring anymore. And he kept staring at me until now. Could he like me or something?

    • Peter White

      HEllo Raven,

      Of course men DO have a habit at staring at their attraction BUT I highly doubt he’s wearing or not wearing his wedding ring based on a woman he’s teaching. There could be a list of reasons on why his wedding ring seems to come and go.

      Like having a problem at home. Forgetting to put it on. Leaving it somewhere. Testing his attractiveness on women. Thinking about cheating with a younger woman… And so on.

      Yes, he definitely could like you. You could ask him where the ring went, how his kids are doing, how’s the wife… practically anything to get a conversation going on his marriage.

      It’s perfectly natural to ask a guy who is married about his life.

      From there you’ll gain a better idea on just how attracted he is to you based on his body language and his responses.

      Thanks for writing and please, pay attention to your work in class and not some “hot guys” ring wearing habits. 😀

      Pete

  • Christina

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half. We are both in our early twenties and I completely trust him. Recently, there’s been a girl (18) who has incessantly tried to get at my boyfriend: a “man-stealer,” if you will. I haven’t seen it as a huge issue because I trust that he won’t cheat on me, we have a pretty great relationship. However, my boyfriend is a nice guy and doesn’t understand that simple harmless actions (sending a snapchat, liking a picture, etc.) might make a girl think he is interested in her. This girl is throuroughly convinced that my boyfriend is into her and has started harassing me and telling me that he’s going to break up wth me for her. While I know that none of this is true and that she is simply trying to get into my head, it really bothers me that she continues to be disrespectful and that my boyfriend has no clue that he’s giving her ideas and essentially leading her on. How do I get this across to him without sounding jealous or needy? I just want this girl to back off and leave us alone.

    • Peter White

      Hello Christina,

      Great relationships normally have great communication. Use that to your advantage by being open and honest about it.

      If done right, he might see a little jealousy as cute or as a clear sign of how much you do love being with him AND that you’re concerned.

      You’re concerned about these items:

      She’s adding drama.

      She’s disrespecting you.

      She’s harassing you.

      If you don’t want to come across as needy or overly jealous then don’t go to him angry or overly emotional. Don’t play games in the background hoping he’ll get the hint.

      And definitely don’t go to him telling him he has no clue that he’s giving her the wrong idea. That would be disrespecting him and would be sort of calling him a “dumbass” who doesn’t get it.

      The one thing I DO know about people and communication is that there is never a guarantee the other person will get your point. Some, no matter what you do or say some will only ever see things from their perspective based on too many things to list.

      This simply means, Don’t get caught up in trying to force your point across… just be direct about how it makes you feel and how she is making you feel and NOT about what he’s doing wrong. That will only cause him to become defensive and might push him into her.

      Read this please, it’s at The Approach and was written by a relationship expert who gives great advice:

      http://www.dialteg.org/rori-raye-rules-love-attracting-men/he-friends-another-woman-what-how-to-handle/

      I want you to read it because it will convince you that what you’re doing so far IS the right thing to do and how if your relationship is solid and your communication is clear and in order, bringing it up to him in the way I mentioned above won’t come across as needy.

      And how being a little jealous is NOT a bad thing or an emotion which needs to be kept behind a locked door. How sometimes jealousy is seen by a guy who is feeling attracted to you (within reason) is not always a bad thing.

      Her story won’t entirely pertain to you but it can show you what NOT to do and hopefully just by know thing, you’ll know exactly what to say AND how to say it too.

      Wishing you all the best and I do hope everything works out for both of you and of course that your man-stealer moves on to hunting someone else’s guy. 🙂

      Pete

  • Nicole

    Hey Peter,
    I am confused about a guy I have been seeing for just about 6 months. We have yet to have any sort of exclusive talk where we actually agree to anything. People we talk to always assume we are a couple and we kind of laugh and make light of it. Last night we were out at a bar talking to another guy sitting next to me and the guy asked if we were together. I joked that we had just met so the guy seemed surprised because we seemed to know each other so well. We laughed and said it was a joke and my guy said that we were together. Sometimes he will say so and sometimes he won’t. I assume he thought this guy would hit on me if he said we were. Sometimes he refers to himself as “My man” and sometimes he talks about how he is a young single guy. He likes to bring up past flings and relationships but claims I do to. I don’t recall it other than when he just had pointed it out. While it bothers me, I usually just ignore him until he stops. He has also mentioned how bad his last relationship ended and how it had been a rebound that lasted too long. I asked if this is what he and I were doing and he looked at me like I was crazy and said it wasn’t because that relationship had ended a few years ago.

    We are insanely comfortable around each other and people we both know have said we seem to have known each other for a long time even though we just met in January. He introduced me to his best friend and other friends who he has told me countless stories about and as part of the introduction he said I am the lady hes been seeing and said that he had told them about me. When he said this to his best friend, his friend came over and hugged me and asked where he had been hiding me. It seemed like his friends liked me. It felt like a big deal yet I still feel like I am just a friend to him. We have a lot of fun together. I just don’t want to get stuck in a FWB situation. The mutual friend that introduced us told me after he and I started seeing each other that he said he saw a future with me.

    I guess what I need help clarifying is if bringing up an exclusive talk just to put it to rest is a good idea or not. I don’t want a label or to be called his girlfriend because I don’t really enjoy labels but it would help end some confusion. At the moment I don’t consider myself single but I don’t really consider myself taken either. I guess I must give off some vibe because I have been asked out a ton more recently and it has been awkward to say no because the follow up question always leads to me having to flat out say I am in a relationship which I don’t know that I am. It gets weird. I just want to know if we are exclusively dating each other or if this is casual. We have already established that we aren’t sleeping with other people, he has gone from not showing much affection in public to holding my hand when we walk or keeping close body contact when we are out. I don’t think any of that means much more than he likes me. I am over being sucked into these casual go no where relationships with people. Is it worth bringing up the subject or should I let things run their course and look for an opening bring it up?

    Best,
    Nicole

    • Peter White

      Hey again Nicole,

      Normally guys don’t need to be nudged or even have to have “the talk” to solidify a relationship.

      If they’re capable and willing, they are more than happy to make it official. Sometimes it just takes longer for that to happen. Especially if they’re on the younger side.

      If he was forty and doing this then I would definitely say to make it official and bow out gracefully if a definite commitment is what you want.

      In your case, since neither one of you are actually seeing each other AND he’s showing clear signs that he’s progressing forward, (he has gone from not showing much affection in public to holding my hand when we walk or keeping close body contact when we are out) you’re both are kind of already in a relationship.

      Give it some more time Nicole. Six months is not that long at your ages. Let him have his fun with the whole, “I’m a single guy” one minute and yours the next. Keep busting his ass back make light of it all.

      The thing to remember here is, you’re both happy. Things appear to be moving forward, and slowly is good.

      In other words…. it’s working!!!

      I realize that answering other peoples questions can be a problem. You can always say, “Sorry, it’s complicated. :)” then give a little wink after. That works for me. 😀

      At some point, I agree you’re going to have to make a decision on whether to continue or not but I don’t think now is the time.

      The great part about all this is, if I’m wrong, you can always blame me. 🙂

      Remember, if it’s working and progressing slowly, that usually is a good thing.

      Wishing you all the best of luck and hoping you don’t have to blame me one day, HAha!

      Thanks and nice hearing from you again Nicole,

      Pete

      • Nicole

        Haha thank you Peter!
        You are probably right. I get in my head too often. It’s been easier with him to stay out of my head. I met up the other night to watch him at his gig and he best friend showed up. We talked a bit and it turns out my guy had sent his best friend photos of some of my art work. When we stepped outside for a bit his best friend asked me what my intentions were. He wouldn’t tell me anything but he wanted to know what my intentions were with his best friend. It felt like concern but it also felt like he was feeling me out a bit.
        So as far as I know it’s going well. I am happy. Thank you for your advice. I’m sure no matter what I won’t blame you for anything! 😉

  • Leslie

    I recently went on two dates with a man, and both dates were great! We didn’t kiss on the first but on the second. Now I have’t heard from him in a few days. I know he likes me, he told me he did! So what gives?

    • Peter White

      Hello Leslie,

      Relax 🙂 The right guys tend to take things slowly at first so this is a good thing.

      He kissed you. Told you he liked you. Unless he was only interested in sex and only got a kiss, which trust me is more rare than the latter, give him some time.

      Relationships grow over time and do better that way. Just like when you’re driving you don’t go from 0 to 100 instantly, you slowly build the momentum up. Catch your breath. Allow the feelings to seep in.

      At first it may be a few weeks between replies. Then a week. Then a few days. Then perhaps a few daily interactions.

      Trust me the “better” guys work that way and it’s much more fun and beneficial for both of you to have it work that way.

      It will be fine,

      Pete

  • Nicky

    Hello!
    I would appreciate a guy’s opinion so much. I am at this job for a year now and after 6 months I and a firend (co-worker) noticed a really handsome guy looking at me. I only see him at the beginning of the day and maybe at the end of our shift. At some point I stopped looking at him, because I liked him so much and I felt completely blocked. Now that I have started looking at him again, he doesn’t respond. What should I do?
    Thanks!

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