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Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Guys Stare at Girls?

in Stare and Approach
Guys stare at girls all the time. This one is checking you out.

We don’t hide it very well, do we? Although some of us claim to be masters at not getting caught.

I guess the word is out. Girls know we’re staring at them. There’s no reason to hide it anymore.

If they want to know why, let’s tell them…

But first … This question is vague yet the chosen words – “Guys & Girls” leads me to believe this is a younger woman’s question so I’ll keep the answer as relevant as possible.

When I was “staring at girls” I was checking them out.

Beauty, especially in the eyes of a sexually driven guy, not only catches our eye but can literally freeze us. Sometime it’s almost impossible to turn away.

It’s strange because unless we talk to you the image disappears quickly. Making any later fantasies with your image almost impossible. Although I imagine some guys are better at that than other.

So if we know you and are still staring there’s a good chance we’re going to use that image later. Now before you go thinking it’s all sexual. It’s not. Sometimes it’s a girlfriend theme or the perfect “meet up” or even just a kiss.

You can safely assume, like nine times out of ten, if any guy is staring at you he is checking you out.

He wants to meet you. He is attracted to you.

In a weird way he even wants to get caught because just maybe, if you catch him staring at you, you’ll stare back and it’s on. I would say more than half of those guys are desperately hoping you’ll approach them.

From there he’ll probably even assume you like him or at least are attracted to him. That usually depends on his self-esteem.

Think of this. As guys. When we’re hanging out and some girl starts staring at us our friends are likely to smack us and say, “Dude! That girl is totally checking you out.”

Since we’re men and can only think like a male we’re usually going to assume you work the same way. It often goes like this:

  • Checking you out – We see something we like or are attracted to you.
  • Staring at you – Locked in your beauty and most like want to get caught so you’ll approach us. Lessening the chance of being rejected.

Now as for the whole “sexual attraction” level I would have to say it’s almost like an addiction. Not usually harmful but it certainly can be.

When we see a “hot” girl we’re likely to get a little excited. Not hard just sexually aware.

And it feels good.

So we do it a lot because it feels good.

Strange to you maybe but to me, as a guy, it feels perfectly natural and I’ve been enjoying it for many years. Just now as I get older I’ve learned not to let it take me away or make me do stupid stuff.

If you’re dealing with younger guys staring at you, then he may not have learned his own personal control over how good it feels and he reacts blatantly to it.

Peter White - Why Do Guy...?

Peter White. Thanks for stopping by and listening to a male’s point view. You can stay in touch by – *receiving my newsletter, *friending my Facebook page here. – Here is where a teach men about you *DiaLteG – and this where I get to talk about meeting and approaching the opposite sex – *The Approach.

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130 comments… add one

  • Marilyn

    Hi. Since the past three years a boy, whos partically in all my classes, has been staring at me. And he someone who doesnt really like talking to girls, and if he ever has to he would only talk to me and none of the other girls in class. If he ever does he would never talk as sweetly as he does to me. He would smile and carefully listen till I end. I mean we partically have never talked much. He knows I have caught him staring at me. And also, I believe that know I have a crush on him. It weird. One of his friend is my friend too, and whenever I am teasing him, the boy I like, laughs. He tries sitting next to me. He has actually made me self-conscious. Because I never care about my apperance untill I realized I had a crush on him and thats completely his fault. Since the past three years all this has been happening and I am stull waiting for him to confront. Will he ever do so? What does all this mean anyway? Does he like me?

    • Isabel

      Yes! I happened to me too, until now…. 😉

    • glerys

      You got to go up and talk to him you two obviously like each other a lot just too nervous to go up to each other the wrist that could happen he says no but he’s lying just keep trying with him and tell him how you feel bye

  • sahar

    This happened to me also…there is one guy in my college…He often used to stare at me alot…i dnt know why…although he and i got separated 2 years ago…

  • Laci

    YES SCoRe this means the guy I like likes me I’ve watched the vids and this is the last thing and he has show all of them yessss I’m gonna ask him if he likes me and tell him that I do lets hope he says yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Olivia

    There is a kid in my math class that one day, just randomely stared at me. I really REALLY don’t like him, and when I asked him what he was doing, he shrugged and kept staring at me.
    I think he has a crush on me, but I am not sure.

  • eva

    hello pete love your page bu i have abig problem.When we moved to our own house i was 8yrs then there’s this guy in his early teens that usually stares at me and as a kid i found it annoying he also smiles at me when he is with his friends,showing off when playing football and when he is with a girl and he sees me he becomes moody .Its been seven years and now am fifteen he still stares at me and behave the same way it getting complicated everyday my friend usually tell me’seven years’and he still looks at you that way gurl he’s madly inlove with you

    • Peter White

      Love aside Eva, he’s acting his age. Unsure on how to handle his emotions maturely.

  • Betty Boo

    It’s about time I found something accurate. I am an adult and I know this adult guy likes me because of all the above mentioned. I just needed to hear or read the obvious before I extended an invitation, or let him know that I was interested too. We are all human, we all like to know it is ok to approach and noone likes rejection.

    • Peter White

      Thanks Betty Boo. NO one does like rejection and it’s unfortunate too many of us act based on a simple fear that someone may not like us back.

  • Scott

    This is all VERY true we aren’t trying to be creeps but sometimes we can’t help ourselves

  • Anonymous

    I have caught a guy staring at me at class whenever i catch him he smiles at me shyly. Even when another person is talking he keeps staring at me. One day me and my friends where chatting he came out of nowhere and put his arm on my shoulder. It was really weird but i think he’s cute!

  • Airat Shobowale

    There is this guy in my church he stares at me every sunday though we dont talk he asked my sis out once but she dated him for two days but uptil now the guy still stare at me almost everytime,does that mean he like me and why did he ask my sis out?

  • Georgina

    A guy at work did this for four months trying to hold my gaze. He did it from getting out of his long term relationship. I then made a joke about him saying others girls not me and he said but he doesn’t know what he wants and shouldn’t then test that out with someone at work. Now I hear he’s dating other girls he’s started staring at me again. But he’s also started to talk about other girls (not dating them he does that when I’m not there) infront of me. He’s not the most confident guy. I intend to leave as the jobs not right anyway. Should I say something? Please help need advice!

  • Sarah Liu

    Hey Peter!

    Today, I walked into my classroom and found a cute guy staring at me. He’s a year older than I am. But I don’t see him a lot and we don’t talk. So, I caught him staring at me once. Then I would look over sometimes and he SEEMED like he was looking at me, or at least in my direction. I mean, his whole body was definitely facing my way.

    During break time, I walked out of the classroom and he was about 20 feet away from me, standing and talking with his friends. I walked out and as soon as I appeared, he stared at me and when I looked up, I met his eyes. But….then I looked away lol. And he still wouldn’t look away until I started talking to my friends.

    A couple minutes later, he came over, very near where I was standing, and started talking to a friend or something. And I could tell he was still observing me. I think…

    So anyway, what is up with him? Your help is much appreciated :)

  • Ana Cirx

    Well there is this guy with a girlfriend. In my opinion he is very attractive, but I always thought he has a girlfriend and we never ever talked before, so I’ve never given him attention. But then we had to work together and throughout that work he always glazed at me (very intensely). He also complimented me and was very very friendly…That’s strange since he has a girlfriend..? But the next few days he completely ignored me, said something to me but that wasn’t nice, it was so unkind. But then sometimes, like yesterday, he stared at me again.. I’m confused!

  • Mariemoss

    Hello 4 year ago I saw a guy in stop and shop he stared at me for some time i turned around to see if it was me he was staring at and it was but at that time I was about to have a operation and felt he would have got discouraged so I walked right by him I felt so bad but I was caught up in having a operation 4years later I saw the same guy starring again right beside me and I froze but he did not say anything but stare any suggestions.

  • Jessica

    There is this guy in a couple of my classes who randomly stares at me, but we have only spoken a few times and I think he might have a girlfriend already. He’s not shy I’ve seen him around school a lot and he seems very popular and outgoing. Even when we’re in class he talks to people around me, but he seems to ignore me. In class he sits towards the front of the room so when I turn to face the board he’s just looking at me, once I caught him staring and smiled to break the ice, but he kept giving me this serious face. I doubt that he is spacing out because our seating arrangements have changed and he still stares.

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