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Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Guys Stare at Girls?

in Stare and Approach
Guys stare at girls all the time. This one is checking you out.

We don’t hide it very well, do we? Although some of us claim to be masters at not getting caught.

I guess the word is out. Girls know we’re staring at them. There’s no reason to hide it anymore.

If they want to know why, let’s tell them…

But first … This question is vague yet the chosen words – “Guys & Girls” leads me to believe this is a younger woman’s question so I’ll keep the answer as relevant as possible.

When I was “staring at girls” I was checking them out.

Beauty, especially in the eyes of a sexually driven guy, not only catches our eye but can literally freeze us. Sometime it’s almost impossible to turn away.

It’s strange because unless we talk to you the image disappears quickly. Making any later fantasies with your image almost impossible. Although I imagine some guys are better at that than other.

So if we know you and are still staring there’s a good chance we’re going to use that image later. Now before you go thinking it’s all sexual. It’s not. Sometimes it’s a girlfriend theme or the perfect “meet up” or even just a kiss.

You can safely assume, like nine times out of ten, if any guy is staring at you he is checking you out.

He wants to meet you. He is attracted to you.

In a weird way he even wants to get caught because just maybe, if you catch him staring at you, you’ll stare back and it’s on. I would say more than half of those guys are desperately hoping you’ll approach them.

From there he’ll probably even assume you like him or at least are attracted to him. That usually depends on his self-esteem.

Think of this. As guys. When we’re hanging out and some girl starts staring at us our friends are likely to smack us and say, “Dude! That girl is totally checking you out.”

Since we’re men and can only think like a male we’re usually going to assume you work the same way. It often goes like this:

  • Checking you out – We see something we like or are attracted to you.
  • Staring at you – Locked in your beauty and most like want to get caught so you’ll approach us. Lessening the chance of being rejected.

Now as for the whole “sexual attraction” level I would have to say it’s almost like an addiction. Not usually harmful but it certainly can be.

When we see a “hot” girl we’re likely to get a little excited. Not hard just sexually aware.

And it feels good.

So we do it a lot because it feels good.

Strange to you maybe but to me, as a guy, it feels perfectly natural and I’ve been enjoying it for many years. Just now as I get older I’ve learned not to let it take me away or make me do stupid stuff.

If you’re dealing with younger guys staring at you, then he may not have learned his own personal control over how good it feels and he reacts blatantly to it.

Peter White - Why Do Guy...?

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206 comments… add one
  • Kels


    If we feel them staring but don’t catch their eye… are we usually right about feeling a stare from guys?

    Now is that different if their a natural flirt… or seem like a big flirt to girls? Like another poster… this guy is divorced… within the last year… what is your opinion on it all? … probably just his personality? Will guys flirt differently depending on how much they like… or how they plan to be with someone?

    • Peter White

      There are two answers here Kels.

      One, if you’re very self-conscious, think others are always judging you, or if you tend to worry too much about what others think of you… you’re probably going to feel like lots of guys are staring at you. Mostly bad I suppose but some good.

      Two, if you’re aware of your surroundings and not overly self-conscious, then I’d say if it feels like a guy is checking you out but you can’t catch him… HE IS. :)

      Yes. Guys do flirt differently but more of that is based on who they are and not so much what they want from you. Although I would assume a guy is only interested in a sexual encounter would flirt more sexually and a guy is looking more long term would tone down the flirting to something more future based BUT all that is highly unreliable because so many men don’t understand how and why flirting works and why it’s done so they just go with whatever.

  • Niki


    So there’s this guy and at first I thought he’s not interested because he liked this other girl, if I’m right, and I barley know him but every time I look at him I cath him staring at me. Why?

    • Peter White


      Men can be interested in many different women at once. Just because he likes another girl may not stop him from staring. Lots of guys who are not sure about a woman they are involved with will often think and believe they can do better or still like to explore more options. It’s a big reason men don’t commit so easily.


  • Emily

    What if the staring is getting creepy and you have asked them to stop but they don’t?

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