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Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Guys Hate Being Ignored?

in Quick Guy Question and Answers, Why Do Guys Do
Very insecure men hate being ignored.

Generally speaking, only insecure guys hate being ignored.

Yes, we all have a little approval seeking in us. I don’t think there’s anyway around it.

But some of us take it too far and rely on it heavily. A part of their “existence” depends on being noticed in one way or another. They tend to take things too personal and rely on others to form an image of themselves.

They will often go to extremes to make sure everybody knows they’re there.

The more approval seeking the guy, the more attention he needs, the more he’ll absolutely hate being ignored while a man on the other end might not care as much or at all.

Honestly I don’t believe this is just a guy thing. Woman hate to be ignored too.

And both of us feel more ignored when there’s a third party going on.

Like when you ignore a guy and give all your attention to another guy the first one might not feel he’s not “as worthy” so you can easily trigger a deep jealousy. How he acts on it can be quite unpredictable but it’s always a part of why he hates to be ignored.

Maturity plays a major role in how a guy responds to being ignored too. Also let’s never rule out how the most “passive aggressive” guy (in a relationship) will actually do what is needed so you will ignore him if that is what he wants to happen.

The more mature man deals with being ignored and can simply see it as you wanting space or just living your life independently. You not paying attention to him is not taken personal at all.

The less mature man takes it personal. He feels like he has no say in anything and everything you do or think including how you feel about him. He will be more likely to act out, demand attention in any way he can, and will often piss you off just to get the needed attention.

I would say guys who hate being ignored from one specific woman most likely has feelings for her and has sure signs of insecurity. He hates being ignored by her because he takes it as a personal judgement of hate or a general disliking for him or his actions.

The men who hate being ignored by many women (or people) in general are over the top approval seekers therefore hate being ignored because they feel a lack of control over how others see them. They typically have a lower self-image and the image of themselves are mostly based on how others see them.

It’s safe to conclude while not all men have a problem being ignored, the ones who do hate it feel their voice or actions are not validated or appropriately responded to and it is taken very personally. The hate can build inside and their reactions are quite varied but are often destructive.

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26 comments… add one

  • Lawson

    Hi peter,
    There’s this guy i have been chatting to online via a phone app, for the last 6 months or so.
    At first it was just flirting, but eventually we’ve became very close friends, we can talk to each other about nearly everything. I say nearly, because for the last month or so i have developed strong feelings for him and i can’t bring myself to tell him. My intuition also tells me he has feelings for me, but then i become doubtful because at times when i try to initiate a conversation leading to expressing how i feel, he kinda doesnt reply for a few days, then when he does, he shows no indication of not being interested in me, like for example i said i would join him on a trip to thailand and he replied 3 days later with ” alright that sounds divine”, i know he got my message and his phone is practically glued to his side and he generally replies to my messages within the hour, so why would he reply 3 days later?
    Also he flirts about girls and not with them in front of me, for example he showers a girl with kisses and flowers (emoji’s)in front of me, even though the girl isn’t present, but gets moody when a guy shows me a tiny bit of attention.
    I am starting to lose interest in him, but my heart is trying to do otherwise! Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

  • Lilly

    A year ago, I started chatting to a guy who I met on a website where you can meet friends from all around the world (not a dating site), I wasn’t looking for a relationship of any kind at the time as I’d just come out of a serious one. Anyway, we chatted back and forth for a few months everyday and we spoke on the phone everyday too and he admitted that he had fallen in love with me and I told him that I felt the same way. He told me he had plans to move over to UK anyway before he met me (he’s from Canada) and we could meet after he got his visa sorted. We carried on chatting everyday, he was even calling me 3 or 4 times a day at one point and we skyped too. I knew he was under a lot of stress regarding his kids and his ex-wife but since 2 weeks ago, he started becoming cold towards me and now all of a sudden, he has told me that he can not come over here anymore because things have changed regarding his situation and that he wish he could tell me but he can’t and that I deserve more and that he can’t be that guy who can make me happy anymore or make any promises to me anymore and that he’s not coping well with the stress he’s going through at the moment and doesn’t want any relationships right now. I’m very hurt and very confused :/. He was still telling me he loved me 2 weeks ago and that he was getting the paperwork for his visa sorted, still called me 3 times a day and now this. He said he still wants to stay in contact as friends but I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not, I don’t know whether to just ignore his emails and forget about him or stay friends with him even though he really hurt me? Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

    • Rami Abou Hamdan

      Hi ,
      I Just want to tell you that the guy home whom you loved has played with your feelings and he is a liar . Therefore , he is not worth it . Moreover , avoid the married guys and the discovered guys . I don’t trust those guy at all .
      On internet anyone can tell a lie . Have have ever met in person ?
      Did you read his body language rightly , (Ladies have a natural gift in reading men and know if they are lying or not from the starter ) ?
      Meeting on Skype or on any with video chat doesn’t count because the set up of the environment can be set .
      Moreover , he have used to fill his emotions thought and then he will come back to his wife , he won’t leave her at all .
      My advise is move on and forget about this low life person you met .
      Moreover , meet new on in person whom really cares about you .
      Don’t be sad at all . Consider as an experience for avoiding the married and divorced type .
      There is a say about the divorced ones . Whom leave one his marriage can leave the comming times more easier . Personally I don’t trust these type .
      Try to find someone whom don’t have any experience in the relationships and never get laid with any lady . This will be a good chance to control him and make your life happier and make sure no matter what you have did he cannot live without you .
      Buy the way I am married and I am happy with my wife . She means everything to me and whatever happens I cannot live without her .

      Cheers ,
      Have a nice day .
      Rami .

  • Rami Abou Hamdan

    When a woman Ignores you , you have to ignore her back and you shall not care at all about her anymore because most of the women whom ignores their loved ones are trying to leave you . Therefore , ignore her in same way and never get angry . If she stops that habit , then start to care as much as she cares .
    However , if you have proved that there another guy in her life , she is not worth your love at all because she is so low and cheap .

  • Bamidele

    Hi peter
    Am in a relationship with a guy just going to a month ,but I find it difficult to trust him, (not bcus av bin deceived all my lyf, cus pple of such find it hard 2 blif a guy)although he do assure me of his love aand stuffs lyk dt bt i stil av a mixed feeling abt him bt tinkx abt it he’s not really my type of guy cus am dz kind of introverted person nd atimes i feel maybe he he just passx time with me cus he already told me he can’t marry a xristian 4 a wife, he a muslim, i d opp…even weneva we chat or he calls me d conversation is usually very boring and somtims cold bt still he tells me stuffs lyk u’re d best version of lady av eva met… is it dt he just want to get even with me or wt and atimes i feel lyk he has a muslim lady smwhr he love something lyk dt…. i do stress him out atimes and also do ignore him cus i blif if truely he’s into me he’ll lean 4ward wen i pull bk bt it’s lyk am still nt gettx it. of course i do want to operate with him on a deeper level bt i don’t want 2 chase him… nid sm clarificatns… hope to hear from u soon, thanks

  • bella

    Hi :) peter
    What does it mean when an old guy best friend who used to be really close to me and caring ,out of nowhere starts acting cold and pretends he doesnt care ? Like he sometimes gives me his full attention and then out of the blue completely ignores me :/ and he used to tell me a lot of sweet things now our conversations are three words long :( ….

    • Hi Bella,

      My guy instinct tells me he was in love with you and is now retreated because he doens’t like the friends zone. It depresses him and makes him feel worse just being around you.

      That’s my gut and from my heart because I’ve done it to a few old women friends myself… back in the day. :)

      Hopefully my guy is right on this one :)


  • ediri esiekpe

    There’s this particular guy I’ve been getting to know for a while. We always joke smile and tease one another. I find him staring at me when i look back as well. But one day i wasn’t just myself, i was emotionless and angry . The guy attempted to say i to me and i ignored him. Now i feel kinda bad and stuck and dont know what to do ?

    • Peter White

      Give him time to get over it in case he took it the wrong way or personal.

      The “right” guys know how to deal with the emotional ups and downs of others including women and do their best to not take it personal. Hopefully this guy is that person. If not, then it is HIS problem to deal with and not yours.

      The next time you see him, pretend nothing happened. Go right back to what was happening before. If he’s THAT confused, concerned, or interested, let him ask you what happened and feel free to let him know a little. Not too much. Just say you were, “Off your game that day 😉 ” and let it go.


  • Rhian

    I got an instinct he liked me, but he is in another class or section. After few years, we became classmates and I learned how to dress up, then he started to show his attention to me, like staring at me, trying to take my attention, locking an eye contact with me for several times, and would use our common friend to get a chance to have a chat with me which he could not dare with just only us talking. So I did showed him positive signs that I allowed him doing those things, but suddenly for some reasons I thought it ought to be stopped. i stated ignoring him and avoiding him in a nice way. He started to react with a questioning facial reaction with my gestures. I did made it obvious to him I was avoiding his stare, I dont wanna have eye to eye contact with him, nor have a fun conversation. He did not stopped, not until, I planned a scheme, I pretended I was chatting with someone, having fun, and I let him take a peak of it just so he will believe My scheme. it did worked I saw his eyeballs staring at the ipad. That moment immediately he never turned a glance on me which normally he does. He started ignoring and really avoiding me. He never made an eye contact with me,nor tried to look my way. Which I believe my plan worked so well, he did not know, I was chatting with my female best friend which I took the chance to make him believe it was a man. I do not know why I am… I do not know why I care when I planned it all, I dont know why does it matter to me, to e en wonder or ask, why, for what reason or reasons and purpose did he started to avoid me and ignored me? Will he forget me forever? And what should I do? Whyyyy? Thanks

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