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Why Do Guys Hate Being Ignored?

in Quick Guy Question and Answers, Why Do Guys Do
Very insecure men hate being ignored.

Generally speaking, only insecure guys hate being ignored.

Yes, we all have a little approval seeking in us. I don’t think there’s anyway around it.

But some of us take it too far and rely on it heavily. A part of their “existence” depends on being noticed in one way or another. They tend to take things too personal and rely on others to form an image of themselves.

They will often go to extremes to make sure everybody knows they’re there.

The more approval seeking the guy, the more attention he needs, the more he’ll absolutely hate being ignored while a man on the other end might not care as much or at all.

Honestly I don’t believe this is just a guy thing. Woman hate to be ignored too.

And both of us feel more ignored when there’s a third party going on.

Like when you ignore a guy and give all your attention to another guy the first one might not feel he’s not “as worthy” so you can easily trigger a deep jealousy. How he acts on it can be quite unpredictable but it’s always a part of why he hates to be ignored.

Maturity plays a major role in how a guy responds to being ignored too. Also let’s never rule out how the most “passive aggressive” guy (in a relationship) will actually do what is needed so you will ignore him if that is what he wants to happen.

The more mature man deals with being ignored and can simply see it as you wanting space or just living your life independently. You not paying attention to him is not taken personal at all.

The less mature man takes it personal. He feels like he has no say in anything and everything you do or think including how you feel about him. He will be more likely to act out, demand attention in any way he can, and will often piss you off just to get the needed attention.

I would say guys who hate being ignored from one specific woman most likely has feelings for her and has sure signs of insecurity. He hates being ignored by her because he takes it as a personal judgement of hate or a general disliking for him or his actions.

The men who hate being ignored by many women (or people) in general are over the top approval seekers therefore hate being ignored because they feel a lack of control over how others see them. They typically have a lower self-image and the image of themselves are mostly based on how others see them.

It’s safe to conclude while not all men have a problem being ignored, the ones who do hate it feel their voice or actions are not validated or appropriately responded to and it is taken very personally. The hate can build inside and their reactions are quite varied but are often destructive.

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7 comments… add one

  • suzy

    hey peter
    plz help me wid dis.
    There was a guy who was hitting on me,but i ignored him and his stares….after 2 months i decided meeting him and he started clarifying himself that he was just joking with me….why would he change like this?was it because i ignored his interest?
    And now whenever we talk….he clears himself everytime, he thinks that i think he is a bad person.Why does he assume that i feel he is a bad guy?or is it because we know each other now so he is keeping his self respect?
    Plz help urgently….eagerly waiting for ur response

  • Peter White

    Hey Suzy,

    It sounds like he felt guilty for hitting on you and played it off as a joke because you called him out on it.

    When you were ignoring him and he was trying to get your attention in sort of a childish way, well when he finally got it ( the attention ) you suddenly became real and not just another face to stare or gawk at.

    This realness probably caused the guilty feeling to emerge PLUS at this point, he’s thinking he has a chance and now he’s trying NOT to ruin it with you.

    This would cause him to “clear himself” or tell you what a “bad person” he is… Hoping you’ll see past his “immature” attempt to gain your attention.

    Guys do this stuff all the time when they are not sure how to approach a woman or get her attention. This is shown by his actions from first – not approaching you properly probably because of a lack of confidence with you or women – and then secondly, downplaying his attitude or confidence in himself.

    I would expect more of this unless he gets it all in check AND I would expect when things get a little more complicated between you and him, or the next step comes up, or another guy enters, he will continue to prove to you what a bad guy he thinks he is…

    Just something to be warned about.

    Hope that helps you out Suzy and all the best to you and your “bad guy”. :)


  • suzy

    thanks :)
    and what if a guy acts hot and sometimes cold towards a girl?example sometimes he looks at her face to face and sometimes he doesnt even look at her..
    Does it mean he may have felt bad abt somethng?or is he not intersted?

    • Peter White

      Oh Suzy, you’re such a woman… :)

      Sometimes guys are cold and sometimes they’re hot. Sometimes they take a shower just after they wake up… sometimes they don’t.

      My point is that all this trying to read his signals as it pertains to you will only confuse you more.

      The best way to handle it is to first and foremost enjoy the present or hot interactions the best you can by staying in that moment.

      We have a rule we give to guys who constantly find themselves trying to read her signals too… they want to know, “Does it mean she likes me?”

      We tell them this highly profound statement:

      “I’m going to give you a stupid-proof formula for knowing whether or not a woman is interested in you.

      Here it is:

      You engage her.

      She engages you back.

      Yes, that’s it. Please stop the applause long enough that I can finish. You can clap later.”


      I believe the same rules apply to women – except believe it or not – with us guys – we’re really just not that complicated. :)


  • suzy

    i’d like to ask one more thing,
    if he liked me would he mention something abt his future wife?
    Like here is an example:
    he drinks alcohol and i tell him to leave it so he is like i will leave after i marry.
    It looks like he is showing me in every way that he isnt interested.please explain

    • Peter White

      No Suzy – That just means he’s using alcohol to numb himself because without a wife – or girlfriend – or partner – he’s not as happy as he thinks he might be, with one.

      Lots of people use alcohol or drugs to avoid or numb their reality.

  • suzy

    i didn’t understand this,
    u said”just something to be warned about”in the first questions…..plz explain

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