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Why Do Guys…?

What Does a Guy Mean When He Says He Is Thinking About You?

in What Does He Mean
When a guy can not get a girl out of his mind, it means he’s more than just considering some kind of future with her.

Let’s take a look at this from the opposite perspective because it makes the answer that much clearer.

As a guy, I never ever, ever call up a guy friend of mine or text him, or for that fact even dare mention to him,

“I was thinking about you and just decided to tell you.”

With that said – When he says he is thinking about you – it means he wants to see you again…  among other things.

Like how something reminded me of you and I thought if I tell you, it’ll be a romantic gesture. It will show you I’m definitely interested.

For some guys they’re “fishing” for a certain response which would reveal how you feel.

If you answer “Awww that’s sweet.” we probably see it (unless we’re already intimate)  as being just a friend.

If you answer back with a clever flirt we assume you’re interested in being more than just a friend.

No matter how you look at this question when a guy says he is thinking about you it means he’s interested in something deeper. Of course how deep depends almost entirely on the situation.

It’s our little way of testing you, or getting you to reveal how much you miss us or would like to see again.

As a guy, under normal “dating” circumstances I don’t think about women I don’t want in some way. Maybe it’s a relationship. Maybe it’s to see you again. Maybe it’s just to pleasure myself although I probably won’t be telling you about that until there’s a deeper connection.

Men are typically action-orientated but we do think about what we’re going to do. It doesn’t mean we’ll act on it but it does mean we’re considering more. And if that includes you our thoughts can lead us  to imagine a plan for the future.

All things aside…

  • When a guy wakes up thinking about you he’s feeling more than just attraction.
  • When a guy texts you in the middle of the night to tell you what’s on his mind and it’s you, he’s looking for you to confirm the attraction.
  • When a guy can not get you out of his mind he WANTS to be with you. He may be considering a greater commitment.

Bottom Line…

When a guy feels the need to tell you he is thinking about you, it means he’s more than just “interested” in you, he also wants to know or find out if you’ve been thinking about him too.

Peter White - Why Do Guy...?

Peter White. Thanks for stopping by and listening to a male’s point view. You can stay in touch by – *receiving my newsletter, *friending my Facebook page here. – Here is where a teach men about you *DiaLteG – and this where I get to talk about meeting and approaching the opposite sex – *The Approach.

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60 comments… add one

  • Bec

    Hi Pete,
    I was seeing a guy who I care about deeply, he also cared deeply about me. The issue was he wasn’t sure about his feelings in terms of love. He liked me, but had been in a relationship previously where he had said all the right things but didn’t mean them and he broke her heart. Since then he has been cautious. We ended things, more him than me but it wasn’t a huge fight, upset and both cried, but no angry words. He wasn’t sure about ending it and said he wasn’t going to say goodbye as he possibly just needed time. After two weeks (longest we have ever gone without contact) I broke and sent him a friendly text about something that reminded me of him. We had quite a few text messages thrown back and forth. It felt positive, but a friend warned me that it was too friendly. Cause she said that, I thought we had no chance and I casually said that “I miss this” ( meaning I miss our contact and convos). He has always been very careful and never said anything to me that he doesn’t mean. He wrote back “I know babe, I’ve been wondering about you. Nice to chat”. I’m confused as to what wondering means.. Does it mean he was thinking about me, or does it mean he was just hoping I was dealing with the break up ok and that he hadn’t hurt me too much. Is it a promising sign or am I reading into it too much. It was such a confusing comment as it was not ‘I have been thinking about you’. Can you shed any light?
    Thank you so much,

  • Nita

    Hi Pete, its great reading through these questions and reading your wonderful responses. Hopefully you can help me. I started talking to a guy in 2006, we never put a label on our relationship, but we talked and hung out all the time. In 2008 he met someone and started dating them, but we kept our relationship the same. In 2009 he got married to the girl. I was extremely hurt and upset because I felt like I lost the person I had lots of feelings for, but I was scared to tell him how I felt about him when he asked me right before he got married. I even went to the wedding :( . We stopped talking for a few years, but he then contacted me asking if we could talk. After we talked, we became really good friends again, maybe even to close of friends. I feel bad because certain things were done and shared (text messages/pictures) that shouldn’t have while he was still married, but my feelings got in the way. His wife left him April 2014 and in May 2014 we had a physical relationship. After that one physical relationship we spoke a few times and we both agreed that we should hold off on that until everything is settled with his divorce and get himself situated. That lead to only 4 text messages since August. What does this mean, should I give him his space, should I tell him how I feel, should I wait until he contacts me? I’m kind of going crazy because I miss him and I just want to know if he misses. Maybe he wants to be single.

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