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Why Do Guys…?

A Month Of Texting, Tells You He Likes You, But Then Disappears…Why?

in Online and Text Experiences, The Disappearing Man
Is he a runner? A guy who gets scared after he makes any kind of move. Even telling you he likes you.

I was texting this guy for like a month and then he told me he likes me, and literally four days later he just stops texting me, and it’s like I don’t even exist anymore. Can you please help me with this?

Hi Kyra,

It’s hard for me to tell exactly what happened based on what you wrote so I’ll give you several reasons why a guy might suddenly stop texting you, and hopefully, one or more will fit your situation.

First: What was your reaction? Did you say it back?

I’m not sure how you reacted to his statement but if you didn’t say it back clearly enough for him, or if he didn’t get your hint that could be why. Lots of men kind of expect the same “sentiment” to be returned or more and if they don’t get it might feel rejected.

Second: It’s only been four days so there’s still a chance something happened beyond his control. Maybe by the time you read this he’ll have contacted you with an encouraging text.

Not long ago I wrote “13 Real Reasons Why A Guy Won’t Text You Back” I’d click on it and give it a quick read if you feel like something went wrong. It’s located at “The Approach”

Third: I’m going to call this one a “Runner!” You’ll find these guys are more common among a younger group. They tend to freak out after telling a woman they either like them, love them, or even if they believe a line was crossed and they have no idea on know what to do next. (As in an awkward or nervous first kiss.)

Those types of guys may not be overly confident, they might not know how to act after, or they just don’t know what to do next.

Sometimes a “Runner” will expect a different reaction or worse yet, want you to take a bigger next step. I realize that’s tough through texting but often a “Runner” has unrealistic expectations based on his uncertainty and perhaps “future” thoughts.

My point is there are lots of guys who just don’t know what to do next in so many situations with women it can easily cause them to disappear right after an event like yours. Although lots of them will eventually come back sooner or later.

Runners always have to rest some time. 🙂

Now… why might a guy text you for a month, tell you he likes you, and then all of a sudden stop texting:

  • You didn’t say it back clearly enough for him.
  • He expected you to make a different next move.
  • He’s not comfortable or confident in how to express his feeling and got scared and ran.
  • He’s not sure what to do next so decided to “freak out” or seek advice from “dudes” like me. 😉
  • He does not know HOW to act next. He’s worried he’s going to screw it up.
  • It may have been out of control.

Thanks for asking Kyra. I appreciate you stopping by. If you have anything to add, be sure to leave me a quick reply below.

Best of luck and let’s hope it was either beyond his control or you found a runner who will eventually “man up”

peter-white-new

Peter White. Just some guy every woman should get to know because, well I “think” like a guy. 🙂 Stay in touchnewsletter, Why Do Guys Facebook – Twitter @peterwhite125Thanks for stopping by and be good, be bad, just BE something.

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4 comments… add one
  • Leigh

    Ok how about this one. There is a guy who is in contact with me daily. Texts all day everyday while we are at work. Very open with his feelings and i have told him i like him as well. We dont live really close but bave both said we would drive to see the other. Then suddenly….NOTHING. Just poof! Gone. Any ideas?

  • Mia

    I can empathize with you here, only, “my” guy takes it a stop further. Btw, I love your web site, it is by far one of the most realistic guy feels site I’ve come across. A lot fo what you’re writing about, I’ve seen in my men friends’ behavior and also in a few of the men I’ve dated.

    Now back to this “Runner”. We’ve known each other for almost a year now. I adore him but every single time he slips and let his deeper feelings out, he disappears! Then he would come back long weeks after.

    I just let him be, I cannot hinge my life on his indecisiveness.

    But then, I also thought, okay, maybe he wants me to be more expressive and assure him I still like him? So I did. I told him the many things I like about him. And then, the minute he was thrilled and responded with deep affection .. you guessed it, Gone Girl (or man).

    So I went on with my life and yep … Runner came running back. I caught him off guard, he was ecstatic, he was the one who sought me out, we dated again, his reactions were genuine, and all the while I had my guard up because I don’t know what this is anymore. What do you know, a week later, he accused me of feeling more for him than him feeling for me?!

    I just said, okay, if that’s how you see it. Life goes on. Sure, we can be just friends. I mean, where do I put myself? That was a huge put down if I ever see one!

    • Peter White

      Thank you Mia. I’ll keep being “real” if you keep coming by and tell your friends about it. 🙂

      Seems like you do have a true runner here. Bent on never committing.

      However – from what I know about men, he WAS telling you the truth. Chances are you do feel more than him, or else he would be committing or doing what is necessary to keep you all to himself. Men tend to NOT want the woman of their dreams to be messing around with other guys. I’m not saying he’s not into you a little, just not enough to “make it happen” if you know what I know mean.

      He’s also hinging on you liking him more than him and probably was waiting for YOU to prove it to him so he could feel better about himself. Now he knows he’s “good” enough, that’s all he was looking for. Hence the eventual pull back and run routine once again.

      Great job on the “sure” we can be just friends. I’d keep it that way with him and certainly introduce lots of other potential men in your life and you’ll be just fine.

      Thanks again – your “guy” friend,

      Pete

  • Hannah

    Coworkers. Close over 5mths, dated, faded overnight. Didn’t explain. He’s 30s/confident, thought he’d be direct.

    Like a stranger in work. Didn’t notice me anymore. I kept friendly, smile/hi/if I initiated he would chat a bit. He wouldn’t approach (but talks to everyone else).

    We text, again faded. Last couple he read but ignored. Temp job ended, I text to tell him / say bye. Read, no reply – it shouldn’t but it hurt.

    How did he go from interest to not caring so easily? I guess he lost attraction but I think I’m a good person and nothing bad happened. It all felt so fake.

    I’m back so may see him, how do I act?

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