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Why Do Guys…?

Ever Wonder Why Some Guys Make Such Great Friends? Nice Guy Secrets

Do guys make good friends because they’re attracted to you and are doing everything they can to get you?

This may be a far-stretched assumption on my part – but I’m guessing you want to understand men better…

Well to do that you might want to get a secret glimpse into how some of just happen to show others guys – your secrets. 😀

Here is how it all started for me.

Women were “always” and only ever my friend.

I was the guy they complained to about the “real” guys they were attracted who unfortunately more often than not, were not always what I would call – pleasant.

And let me tell you I was “nice guy” extraordinaire.

If I was attracted to you AND I could put myself in position to be around you, you could get me to do anything for you.

I was the guy who wrote poems, love songs, and dreamed about you every night in a romantic way. I imagined sweeping you off your feet and you coming to me “finally” realizing I was the perfect
guy for you.

I was living in a fantasy world where I was just hoping, just maybe, someday I would find a woman (I actually wanted) who liked me for who I was, not what I looked like, or what I did.

I always fell for the one woman who would never have me AND I was extremely good at becoming her friend. It was like all I had to do was get close to her, talk to her, and I quickly became the guy she confided everything to.

You see I learned this about me and women – since I posed no physical threat and she never found herself attracted to me, women were open to telling me everything and anything about ALL her male experiences.

Which brings up a huge problem because this is what way too many men believe:

“She’s opening up to me therefore she must like me.”

So as we’re teaching guys we must help them to understand that just because you’ve made a connection with her, does NOT mean she is attracted to you.

Trust me.

That simple quote above is key to understanding men and how to attract more of them:

  1. How and why men are afraid of their attractive urges.
  2. How and why men see connections differently from you.

We’ll get into those soon, be patient. and open ALL your emails.

This one’s about me. 🙂

One fateful day I fell for a woman who tried to help me. She made me do things like cut my hair, change my appearance, leave the house, experience life… I know… shame on her right? Haha!

Of course I convinced myself I could “make” her love me even though when I first professed my “love” for her she used every excuse she could find to “let me down easily.”

As you may have guessed, one evening I professed my love for her and she told me,

“You need to get out more often. Your standards are too high.”

Hey I never said SHE was the brightest person in the world. 🙂

Anyways we actually moved in with each other…. as friends. She ended up hooking up with a pretty bad dude.

It was a huge mess.

Drama???

Anger!!!

She lavished me with gifts and cool prizes.

I bathed her in support, comfort, and a stable place to keep her stuff.

Except she was rebelling against her strict parents and running from her home, and I would’ve traded any gift just to be inside her.

I just wanted a chance. I thought we belonged together.

You see, there is a large group of men, more than you and I might believe, who actually believe…

When you reject a guy – you’re choosing not to feel something.

Now I know sometimes you’re choosing to not get close or enter a relationship with a guy because he has too many issues, but you don’t choose how you feel.

It just happens.

Unfortunately, all of these guys believing you’re choosing not to like them intimately means even the smallest rejections are taken very personally.

It also means instead of focusing on chemistry, excitement, and pure attraction, they spend most of their time trying to get you to like them.

They do it by giving you gifts. Offering favors. Being overly nice. Supporting your cause. And so on…

Which is great when it’s coming from a guy you’re feeling something for but when it comes from a guy you’re not, he only makes another great friend.

Which is where I would “swoop in” and become your best friend ever.

And I was a guy so you didn’t have to deal with “her” drama.

Guy friends are easier, right? 😀

Okay so what can you take away today from all this…

Well, when you meet a guy who has no choices, he’ll believe you’re making a choice to not feel attracted to him.

He’ll hide from his attractive urges because he’s afraid they’ll hurt his chances with you.

He may believe a way to your heart is to not be a “physical threat” which means no touching, hugging, being flirty, or anything which may have you seeing him – as just another guy looking to get in your pants or under your skirt.

He will make a connection with you on a deeper level believing that will help you to choose your attraction towards him.

You see, the men who originally helped me to understand you better are not fools.

When they began to base their material on tackling these issues their sales skyrocketed and created a whole new business.

And none of that could’ve happened unless there were in fact, lots of little younger Pete’s running around.

I know, as scary as it sounds, it’s true. 😀

Let’s see where all this takes us so don’t forget to open your next email,

Pete

Comments are moderated – I can NOT answer all of them – Your opinions are always appreciated – Thank you… Peter White – Don’t forget if you’ve found this page by accident you might not belong here 🙂 Go here -> Why Do Guys…?to receive the full email and all the rest too.

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2 comments… add one
  • Fer Weiß

    First of all, Pete I love reading your blog <3
    ok now, I am such a loner, I never get good "girlfriends"(I don´t know why and sometimes I would like to understand girls better) and some years a go when I was around 18,19´s (now I am older and married and I almost have no male friends anymore) I thought guys understood me better than girls, I still consider my best friend a guy and to read this makes me confused… I mean he is such a great person and I feel like I really could share a bed with him (me half naked) and he wouldn´t have any "second thoughts" about me, he always describes his "ideal girl" as something really different than me, he always will say "I love pale fair white skin and green eyes" and my skin is olive and I have brown eyes, he also will say he loves intelligent girls and I´m not saying I am an idiot but he thinks of an intelligent girl as someone more orientated to science and I´m a graphic designer… you see? this kind of things, how can I REALLY know if he has feelings about me? I AM really AFRAID about this because I better die than hurting this guy…

    • Peter White

      Well Hello and thank you. I love encouraging comments. 🙂

      First and I’m not telling you this to scare you BUT feelings always trump preferences.

      Men and women always seem to have a “laundry list” of what they think they’re looking for or want but pure gut-level attraction rarely ever follows some list our mind conjures up.

      When feelings are involved, anything goes. Men have preferences which change over time and sway with their lives but all a woman has to do is engage or “trigger” his attraction and suddenly his preferences not only can change, but can be completely ignored.

      Because all that matters ( generally speaking ) is HOW another person makes us feel.

      Despite all of what you’ve just read, whether or not he has feelings for you ( yes could cause a problem ) should not matter at all unless it’s hurting your marriage and/or stopping him from moving on and dating others.

      If you’ve been friends long enough and the friendship isn’t causing any real problems then it’s a safe bet he does only see you as a friend, a possibly adopted sister, or better yet – a person regardless of your gender.

      Men are perfectly capable of just being friends with a woman without all the attachment.

      Men will from time to time feel attracted to a friend and possibly fantasize about them too. It’s how we’re built.

      BUT we do have the ability to let it pass or not act on it or not let it control over lives and if it happens with someone where the relationship IS a person regardless of gender, most of the time it passes.

      Again, only problems or hurting arises when it becomes an obsession, a secret love, and/or destroys or stops at a negative place.

      Which does NOT have to be your case.

      So unless that is what happening I wouldn’t worry about it. Even if he feels attracted to you once in a while, just assume you’re just beautiful and why wouldn’t that happen. Right? 😀

      It doesn’t have to go anywhere or mean anything.

      Chances are, if he is revealing to you what type of woman he wants, he’s not doing it to throw you off track, it’s because he’s sharing with a friend and believe it or not, that kind of information is rarely revealed from one guy to another so it just might be easier to talk about that kind of stuff with a woman.

      Again, no worries. 🙂

      Thank you and hope that helps you out,

      Pete

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