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Why Do Guys…?

Understanding Men Comes With A Catch – Will It Destroy The Attraction?

If you’re experiencing attraction towards a guy – chances are he’s confusing you just enough.

Do you know what guys are taught on how to make you obsess over them?

The number one thing is to get you thinking about him in a way which has you doubting, wondering, trying to read between his lines, or over analyzing everything he does or says.

Now did you know you will never feel something amazing for a guy if he fails to do any of that?

You can explain it however you like to yourself but I bet not one guy you understood completely… did it for you! (At least in the beginning.)

Now there’s a trick to it.

A sequence for it to work.

There’s no way you would over obsess over a guy who didn’t get certain parts in order or didn’t do them right.

Whether it was on purpose or not means nothing as the results are the same.

For example:

Think about a guy you knew and you didn’t think twice about him. He was just there. He could be anyone from a friend to a co-worker to even your girlfriends ex-boyfriend.

But something happened one day where you began to have feelings for him and from that day and on the questions started to pop up.

Why did he do THAT? What did he mean by that? Why does he ignore me? Could he…? Would he…?

And the list goes on almost forever.

Here was this guy you didn’t really think about at all and suddenly he has you running in circles. He’s driving you crazy because you just can NOT FIGURE HIM OUT?

As you think through it all your feelings develop into something more. You think there has to be something else going on.

Who knows maybe you’re beginning to love him. Maybe it feels like you belong together or like it was meant to be.

But you’re still not sure why he does, acts, or says certain things.

He’s confusing the hell out of you and you can not always literally but sometimes, NOT rest until you know the truth.

Whether it’s for closure, a relationship, or to live out your sexual desires.

Understanding men comes with a catch… the more you know about him the less you’ll desire him.

Sort of… 😀

BUT… since you project what you feel and base it on your past and what your intuition is telling you… the questions will continue and keep you guessing.

Think about a relationship where the spark is gone. Two people who have grown so close over time. The love is still there but it became a different kind of love.

Somewhere it become comfortable, predictable, and both of you became complacent and settled in to some sort of routine.

Hey, it happens. It’s easy isn’t it? We ALL can let that happen because it feels like a natural progression of love and relationships.

In fact it serves a purpose… Children.

Children are often raised more stable in a comfortable safe environment.

Yet I didn’t say predictable.

Yes it’s good for a child to have a fairly predictable place to live but it’s important for anyone to learn how to deal with unforeseeable problems.

It makes us stronger individuals who are better equipped to handle all the problems that life throws at us.

Let’s take my current (relationship? Haha!) for example…

(…more…)

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9 comments… add one
  • Michele

    Hi Peter,

    The situation you describe is so very true. There is a guy I work with even though we work for different companies. He turned me down when I asked for his phone number, but, since that happened he has been flirting like crazy with the extended eye contact. He was driving me crazy because I couldn’t get him out of my head so I sent a letter to his job with my contact info just in case he changed his mind. Since then he acts sometimes like he wants to talk but we only talk about work. We don’t know any personal info about each other. And no matter how many times I tell myself I don’t like him anymore as soon as I see him I change my mind. I can tell when I talk to him that he is wondering sometimes what I am thinking. So this week before I left his store for the night I was able to get him alone. I see him before I leave to get a signature and update him on my workload. I got my signature and we talked about work and then I said “you should be glad that I like you because I was here for 9 hours today”. His response was a huge smile and he turned to face me. We were close together and I smiled too and we laughed about it. His response was “I appreciate all of your hard work”. I said goodnight and left. So even though you might not say it your body language says a lot. And just for the record I like making him laugh and leaving him with something to think about because I only see him once a week. And I enjoy chasing him.

    Michele

  • Peter White

    Thanks for sharing Michelle. I do appreciate it.

    Pete

  • Emma

    I don’t know what kind of women you’re trying to attract with this stuff, but it isn’t me. Honestly a little teasing and intrigue is fun but if I was confused or over thinking, I’d walk. Probably not the type of girl you want though, thank god. You make me puke.

  • tiffany

    Ok, well I do understand the point behind all this, but is it really worth it….. because being in a similar situation I’m left trying to avoid him now and that feeling of being confused and thinking of him doesn’t help it just messes with my mind and I want to move on from him. I doubt were ever going to talk.

    • So true Tiffany which is why I wrote this, “There’s no way you would over obsess over a guy who didn’t get certain parts in order or didn’t do them right.”

      Some guys do take all this advice too far and actually push good women away. Hopefully they learn where the line of teasing and having fun is so the next time they can get it right.

      You also have to remember the guys (generally speaking) who come to “us” will tell you everything and anything on the first date. They leave nothing for you to even figure out.

      They’ll even tell you how amazing you are after talking to you for less than an hour.

      Okay, so it’s clear, a guy has to make you think, feel something, and leave a little for you to figure out on your own. He has to capture your attention enough for you to actually care to find out.

      Beyond that is when things change and revealing himself the “right” way doesn’t destroy the attraction, it actually enhances it.

      If the guy you’re talking about continually confuses you or is so unpredictable it drives you crazy then he’s crossed the line and yes, the better of us actually show them where that line is AND we do at least try to explain to them that being highly unpredictable is normally not an attractive trait. In fact it does the opposite.

      Thanks for sharing Tiffany,

      Pete

  • Becky

    So… If a guy does this? Does he actually like her ?

    • Probably yes Becky. Just remember, not everyone does it on purpose. Sometimes it just who they are. Sometimes they learn it and try it. Sometimes it’s a game he thinks he needs to play to attract you.

      If you want a clear sign that a guy likes you or not, I would NOT use this as one of them.

  • Sandy

    Hi Pete
    After reading this I was shocked. Shocked that you can be so cocky and egotistical. Is this what you are teaching men?! I have to agree with a couple of the other ladies who’ve posted. I would get bored. Been there, done that and left well alone. I think it says a lot more about you really (and I say it without being nasty) that you feel a woman will lose interest in you if she gets to know you. It screams lack of confidence. That you will appear boring to her and she will move on. But in all honestly that’s not true. Personally I think one of the most wonderful things that can happen between a man and a woman is when they each allow their barriers to drop and trust each other enough to learn more about each other. It can intensify the spark! If a man shows behaviour like you described, I won’t invest my time in him and I don’t think any confident, strong minded woman who knows her self worth would.

  • Elizabeth

    Heeey Pete 🙂

    You’d probably remember me from another post hehe.
    Thankyou heaps for explaining this to all of us hehe…..this has definitely happened to me with a few men and once they do an action that contradicts their earlier action, I often find myself overthinking and asking alot of questions lol instead of trying to ask them myself (due to my shyness and I am not used to talking to men in general lol). This then makes my heart hurt soo much and I get a bit sick from overthinking–sounds bad aye lol…..

    I’ll share a few examples…

    The first man was during school who had a crush on me since year 6 and had asked for my number (through his friend lol) and because I freaked out soo much as it was my first confession I have ever received lol, I said no lol…..and then in the next few years, I used to always catch him starring at me (even while he was praying lol) and he always looked away and became embarrased every time I caught him hahaha….but then one day I had to do a favor for one of my high school teachers and went to his classroom . Once I have arrived, and knocked on the door, this person (who didn’t see me at first) came to open the door until he saw me, that is when he walked straight back to his seat lol. After that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and was soooo confused lol, I wasn’t sure if he was mad at me or nervous!

    And the second example is recent lol and it is also with the same person who called me ‘cute’ lol. I get really confused sometimes as I often catch him starring at me (even before the cute/assignment notes incident) and when I am with my sister and she is talking to him, he looks at me instead of my sister lol. It always happens! The thing is I am not sure why lol, as my sister has intellectual disability with a bit of mental illness (which affects her communication skills and she has a habit of not knowing when its time for others to talk unfortunately). hmmm so I guess i am not exactly sure why he often looks in my direction lol. Note: I haven’t told him about my sister’s disability yet (who is often not seen as having a disability until I tell them lol—most people would just see her as a sociable person with sometimes negative ideas). On another note, he does respect her and communicate well with her and he actually has a positive effect on my sister 🙂

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