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A Man’s World Exposed – How To Tell If A Guy Likes You – Is He Really Interested?

in Does He Like You
Is the first kiss the only way to tell if a guy likes you? Maybe…

You’re going to read a lot about signals men give you and how you can use them to figure out if a certain guy likes you or not.

You’re going to be given body language cues which, as a woman, you already know what they mean. I won’t say a guaranteed 100% but trust me on this – when it comes to reading body language you are already equipped with that skill.

You may also have been informed about his flirting techniques. As if every guy who flirts with you is madly in love with you. I’m sure you know that’s not the case. Flirting is a unique form of communication and not a fair assessment of “like.”

Maybe you believe because he always looks so good when he sees you, or he’s always smiling, or even that “when he’s watching you talk to other guys” he must be interested. Assuming when you’re not around he never smiles, he looks like shit, and he never checks out a woman talking to a guy.

Maybe because he always initiates the conversation. He’s always first to call or text you. How he goes out of his way to find you. Even the friendliest gesture can be reasoned and confused with real gut level attraction.

Let’s not forget about when he starts to ignore you. He is playing “man games” with you. He’s here one minute and gone the next. Then he must like you because no guy plays hard to get unless they want you to like them back.

But then how can you tell if he’s just busy. Or if you’re over-thinking it all. If he’s honestly hard-to-get. Maybe distant. Maybe emotionally unavailable with spurts of candidness which keeps you coming back for more.

Well – I’m going to assume you’ve heard it all before.

So it’s also safe to guess the answers you found – didn’t solve your problem. You got lots of things to “look out for” but no definite answer based on your personal case and not some majority ruled generalization about men.

Why is that? Why, despite all those answers, you still find yourself wondering if he is interested in you. If he’s truly attracted to you.

UPDATE: Make sure you read my short little Ebook too: How Can You Absolutely Know If He’s Interested In You?. It was written as a give away but since it’s a little long and hard to follow, I just put it up as a page.

If you haven’t gathered it by now – I’m a guy. Yep. Just another dude and I have the parts to prove it. 😉

Rather than give you the same old tips. The so-called science fact about our wonderfully unique mating process. I want to share with you a guy’s world.

Many guys repeat your frustration,

“Does she like me? She’s flipping her hair. Exposing her wrist. She’s laughing at my lame jokes. She’s communicating 15 out of the 18 signals that she likes me so it must be true. Look!!! Even her feet are facing me. And I know I saw her lick her lips at least once – while we were eating dinner. Hmmmmm?”

Would you believe I’ve known lots of good-looking guys who I’ve caught several times talking to me about a “signal” she was giving and how it must mean she’s interested. And these were guys who needed absolute no help in the dating world.

While all that’s going on you’re looking for the man version and at the same time (I might add) trying to use your female ways to show him you do like him.

This ago old dance sometimes leads somewhere. Sometimes you get that second date. Sometimes you hook up later on. Sometimes you accidentally lead a guy on only to find out you don’t like him.

And sometimes your “maybe relationship” becomes so confused and buried in the mystery of it all you lose sight of what it was all about in the first place.

In a guy’s world – when his lips touches yours and he wants to do it again and again and again – he’s more than just interested. He likes you and is more than likely going to tell somebody about it.

Getting TO that point is what it’s all about.

We don’t date women to become non-sexual friends. We don’t get close to women without wanting to be intimate sooner or later. We don’t feel attracted without wanting more than just a casual conversation.

The instant you start looking for signals you’re taking yourself out of the most important place you can be. The present. And the present is the only way to get TO that first kiss.

In one guy’s world – a man who knows what he’s doing and has real experience with women understands how to take you there. His signals mean absolutely nothing because if he’s wants you there and you’re so inclined to join him – he WILL lead you there.

In another guy’s world – he doesn’t understand the steps. He’s busy looking for your “okays.” In a way HE wants to be lead. He’s unsure of his own esteem. His signals mean absolutely nothing because you’re not really dealing with his “present.” Which as I stated earlier – is the only way to get there.

For “it” to be completely real with a guy – there must be some physical connection. This means he will do everything and anything within his power, lifestyle, situation, skill-set, and probably more to secure an intimate moment.

Truth be told – what you’re experiencing when you’re trying to figure out if a certain guy or a group of men like you is doubt about yourself. Which has little or nothing to do with him or them.

Oddly enough – you know that. Don’t you?

Hell I even knew it myself even while I was sulking in the corners with a sad look in my face mumbling, “Why doesn’t she like me?” Took me a while to make myself actually believe, “Well maybe she doesn’t like me because this is who I am. The type of guy who cries in the background and whines. I don’t even like myself!!”

That’s one of the extreme cases for men.

But in the smaller cases which I’ll assume is yours…

  • Maybe you don’t like one or two things about yourself.
  • Maybe you suffer from mild flashes of doubt which always seems to come at the “perfect” time.
  • Maybe you believe the guy you’re liking doesn’t seem to be into “your type”, or you’re too old, too young, too big, too small, too shy, too nice…

It’s absolutely perfectly reasonable to say you’re experiencing that doubt because you’re feeling attraction. If you didn’t care about “how he sees you” or “if he’s interested” then you wouldn’t even bother asking that question. Would you?

In the “all case” when you don’t feel attractive or likable at all you will actually try to stop yourself from “falling” for a guy because you know how deeply you’ll look inside yourself and how much it’s probably going to hurt.

What I’m saying, without getting too much into some blame game or who’s at fault, without telling you the same old stuff somebody else has already written is the ultimate answer to knowing if a man is interested in you:

In a guy’s world – the moment he feels attracted to you, he also experiences doubt. Some greater than others. Some handle it better than others. Some hide behind a mask. Some hide in the corner crippled by it all…

But the goal is always the same. To secure an intimate moment which is dependent on the intimacy he needs and how he defines a physical connection. Because that is when it becomes real for us.

I’m saying and I’m probably going to take a lot of flack for it but the ultimate test to see if a guy likes you – starts with the very first kiss.

Getting to that point is best left to enjoy and experience (and not question) because you know it then becomes all about you. It takes you out of the very thing you need to make that first kiss happen. The present.

Obviously we’ve avoided the social drama and the complexity of stepping from sight to relationship and how in our world there’s more to getting together than just feeling it for someone.

Let’s leave it at this and see where it takes us…

If everything a guy does seems to be leading up to that first kiss then you keep assuming he feels attracted to you.

If you’re impatient or are interested in time savers – the moment you’re close enough – make that kiss happen! Even if it’s just a small peck on the lips or neck. It doesn’t have to be a make-out session.

After that you’ll know exactly how much he likes you.

Stop looking for signals or body language clues or the deeper meaning behind it all…

The absolute truth of it all is…

We don’t date women to become non-sexual friends. We don’t get close to women without wanting to be intimate sooner or later. We don’t feel attracted without wanting more than just a casual conversation.

Love may be something else in determining how a man feel towards you. I would suggest you watch this informational/sales video because it will give you 7 questions designed to help you figure out if a certain man loves you or not… Does He Love You?

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Peter White. Just some guy every woman should get to know because, well I “think” like a guy. 🙂 Stay in touchnewsletter, Why Do Guys Facebook – Twitter @peterwhite125Thanks for stopping by and be good, be bad, just BE something.

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88 comments… add one
  • Nadya

    Hey there!

    I’m almost completely sure that this guy is into me. But he’s not asking me out! We’ve known each other for about 8 months now and we’ve been flirting back and forth, but nothing has happened.

    I’m so confused 🙁 I’m not sure why he’s not asking me out. Maybe it’s because I’m reading too much into things? But my gut tells me that he feels something for me. I don’t know if I should tell him how I feel and give him a little push or if I should just wait.

    There’s a thing that I heard about guys: if they want to date you, they’ll make sure it happens.

    Is that true?

    Thanks,
    Nadya

    • Peter White

      Hey there to you too!

      Nope, it’s not true. Some guys will NEVER make it happens. They’re either scared, not convinced you like them, don’t know how to ask, don’t know what to do next, and so on…

      Please do NOT tell him how you feel.

      Have you exchanged numbers yet?

      You’re welcome,

      Pete

      • Nadya

        Dear Pete,

        No, I do not have his number. He has attempted to ask for it before, but for some reason that I do not remember, I didn’t give it to him.

        How should I get his number?

        Thanks,
        Nadya

        • Peter White

          If has attempted to get your number and you don’t remember why you didn’t give it or he didn’t get it, then chances are he believes you don’t want to give it to him. This would explain the never-ending flirt session.

          He feels rejected but for some reason is not giving up. I guess you’re just “that” 😉

          You don’t get his number, you exchange numbers.

          I would work it into your flirting session with him. Be a little sarcastic. Accuse him of being a non-stop flirt. Accuse him of having a phone filled with “girls” numbers. My point is, work it into the conversation. You could also “pretend” to send some texts while he’s talking to you and see how he reacts. Then say something like, “Sorry. Haha! How come you never send me random texts?” :p

          The rest should take care or itself.

          • hannah rachel

            Hi Pete,

            So recently i started a new job in retail and have met a guy at work, its really hard to speak to him because we are constantly being interrupted by customers, however when we do get the chance to speak we have numerous common interests. He has such an amazing smile and really caring eyes and I always catch him smiling at me. Whenever were around other co-workers he’s really loud and tries to get my attention, he compliments my style often, and I compliment his, I can’t tell if its just a friendly work vibe, or there is something there, I really want to get to know him outside of work, but am too shy to actually initiate something help please

            • Peter White

              There is always a way to overcome this dilemma so many people face, whether it’s a man or woman. The dilemma being “is he just being friendly”.

              I’ll answer it with the best advice ever given to me which you’ll find on my “Is he interested?” page.

              Stop looking around for signals from men that they’re “interested” in you. Stop CARING whether or not a particular man is interested in you. Instead, start TRIGGERING the interest, and watching to see if men ENGAGE. If they do, then assume that IT’S ON! As long as you use how he’s responding to what YOU do as your gauge, then you’ll have a MUCH easier time spotting the “he wants me” clues… …Because YOU ARE THE ONE CAUSING THEM.

              Good stuff there. 🙂

              Now I am far from shy but I once was so I know where you’re coming from. I also know, cause I’m a guy, how hard it is to transition from work “buddy” to getting a phone number to calling or texting and then setting up something outside of work.

              The best advice I can tell you is to use your common interests as a lead in to exchanging numbers while at the same time grasping the full concept described in the quote above.

              So let’s say there’s a woman who wants my number at work and we both enjoy golf. She might look some stuff up on her phone and want to share it with me because she thought I might find it interesting, funny, or whatever. Remember our phones are great for sharing info and you get the number on the side.

              Once you have a way to contact each other outside of work, those pesky customer interruptions won’t be a problem anymore.

              Now I hear you – you want me to give you something where he will just ask you and save you the anxiety BUT I’m not going there just yet. :p That’s something entirely different and until I’m clear as to what constitutes game plaing or manipulation, I’ll refrain.

              However – I can pass these little tips along.

              http://www.dialteg.org/how-to-approach-guy-at-work-he-wants-be-noticed/
              http://www.whydoguys.com/get-guys-chase-you-two-things/
              http://www.whydoguys.com/should-girl-ask-guy-out/
              http://www.whydoguys.com/how-get-his-attention-without-looking-desperate-scaring-away/
              http://www.dialteg.org/next-step-meeting-people-hardest-part-getting-number/
              http://www.dialteg.org/do-guys-make-you-nervous/

              They will either help or confuse the hell out of you 🙂 Just remember to take the info in slowly. Try not to overload yourself BUT hopefully everything we covered to day will give you all the confidence and strength you need to move forward.

              Your guy friend,

              Pete

  • Ellen

    I’ve been “hanging out” with this guy for a couple months now. We’ve been together 3 times. We text, which I typically initiate. He’s been divorced twice, so he seems very withdrawn for fear of getting hurt. He typically responds immediately. We even have planned for a weekend getaway. If anything is brought up about a relationship he responds, I guess we’ll see what happens. Im so confused if he’s really interested or being nice. Seems like we are moving at a snails pace or a waste of time

    • Peter White

      Men do not typically display romantic or any sort of intimate feelings towards someone just to “be nice”. Men, especially twice divorced ones are expected to move slowly.

      If it’s too slow for you and you don’t have unrealistic expectations about how fast things should be going, then do not rely or expect something to happen.

      Keep other options open and explore them too. You do not have to sit around waiting for one guy.

      I would also refrain from talking about your relationship with him (more than just casual talk about what YOU are looking for in general) because he will feel pressured. Nothing pushes us further away than a woman who is constantly asking or wanting to talk about where WE are going.

      This will only be a waste of time if you allow it to waste your time.

      He’s ONE guy. Seek other realistic opportunities while he’s doing his own thing.

      Your guy friend,

      Pete

  • Harriet

    Hi Pete,
    I need some advice.
    Theres this really kind, good-looking, funny and caring guy who works with me at a shop for sports equipment.
    We gossip, make fun of our boss, laugh a lot and get along pretty well and I might have caught feelings for him.
    I would be more relaxed if his contract didnt end in two months and he didnt start working somewhere else. We havent exchanged numbers and i am kind of scared we wont go on a date and i i wont see him again.
    What can i do?
    Harriet

    • Peter White

      Hi Harriet,

      Okay, I won’t say “face your fears” because it’s been said a million times before BUT I will say you need to find a way to exchange numbers. Take this from a guy, all you have to do is find a reason to do so. Here’s a clever trick. Find something you want to share with him on your phone – something which reminds you of what you talk about – and say, “Give me your number. You have to see this.” and then send it to him.

      In your case, you have sports, gossip (which really – gossip – haha!) and your boss. That gives you lots of reasons to want to send him something funny. If he asks, just show me on your phone – say, “Nope. I have too many naked selfies of myself and you’ll try to see them. :p” OR something like that.

      Trust me – guys WANT your number IF they are attracted to you. Okay, even if they’re not they don’t see phone numbers as meaning more than anything but a way to communicate.

      Send him what you want and as he’s laughing – tell him “Save my number.”

      Yes, it’s that simple.

      Let me know how it works for you,

      Pete

  • Nicole

    Hey Pete,
    Don’t know if you remember me. I’d doubt it but ,y email is semi distinct. Either way it doesn’t matter. I am hoping to gain some clarity on a situation.
    A few years ago I went out twice with a guy I work with, let’s call him Marty, and while it felt like he was into me, nothing came from it. He seemed skittish about the whole coworker situation.
    Well in the last month I was telling a friend about some stuff he said to me and she thought he liked me. I wasn’t sure about it given what happened a few years ago but I decided to try something. I mentioned a outdoor summer movie festival, something we had done together in the past, to see what happened. All I said was it was that time of year and he immediately asked me if I wanted to go to one. I said there was one I’d like to see coming up, which happened last week (we went). He asked about a different park close to my second job, there is one playing in July which we are also going to. So just mentioning the activity got my two nights out with him and somehow a possible game of thrones mini marathon. Again his idea.
    So last week we went out, he asked me if I wanted to get drinks before the movie, we talked and joked a bit. He seemed nervous. He said something self deprecating and I put my hand on his shoulder and sort of lightly rubbed it. He smiled and said he liked it so I did it again real quick.
    We left the bar and drove to the park. We talked about stuff we both like and TV shows. Once we sat down I sat towards the edge of the blanket and he sat in the center about 4 inches from me. We were leaning back and his hand slipped and touched mine. He said he was sorry but touched my hand for a second right after that. He noticed I was cold and told me he would have offered me his shirt but not one needs to see him without his shirt. I smiled and said I would trade him my bra for his pants to which he immediately said yes. After the very long movie was over he said next time we need to bring chairs and some drinks. I agreed. He said he had a great time and later that week he said I looked pretty in the dress I was wearing.
    On Friday I was texting him and asked him if he wanted a visitor in his office and he said absolutely. I went to talk to him until I had to leave for my second job, he asked me how I was getting there. When I told him he insisted he drive me. I said he didn’t have to leave early to drive me. We talked while he got his stuff together. He opened up and told me a story from college. Before we left he said no funny stuff in his car. I asked why and he just said he couldn’t. I asked if there could be funny stuff outside his car and he said yes. We laughed about it. In the car he seemed nervous and distracted. He didn’t seem to be paying to the road as much as he should have. We got to my job and I said thank you and he stuck out his hang to shake mine. When I got to work someone I work with there asked me if that was my boyfriend who dropped me off. I said no and he said it looked like he would be soon. I like this guy. I’m just worried I’m seeing things that aren’t there. My plan was to encourage him just enough to make him comfortable to make a move. Should I relax and let him get there or should I take a more active role in this. Or is it pointless and I should move on. What do you think?
    Thank you,
    Nicole

    • Peter White

      Hey Nicole, really? You went out with a guy named “Marty” :p

      Simply: RELAX. You’re doing fine. Let him get there. Also don’t give in too easily. Allow him to work for YOU just a little harder than he might expect now.

      Trust me. Things are moving forward. Remember guys don’t know the process like most women do. They just plod along trying to getting the sequence right but rarely do which confuses women way too much.

      Have fun with it and please do not become more active. When what you’re doing is working, do NOT change it.

      You’re welcome and give “Marty” a “hey” from me. 🙂

      Pete

  • whitney

    Hey Pete, I need some advice.

    There’s this guy, I’ll call him Josh. We met while I was in a relationship and we had an instant connection.

    Within a month of meeting, he admitted to liking me but said he didn’t want anything. I said I had no feelings for him, although I knew I did. I noticed he always went out of his way for me and treated me differently than he did everyone else and I guess in some ways, I did the same.

    My boyfriend and I broke up and soon after Josh started making moves on me. We hooked up a few times but he made it clear that he didn’t want anything. (While I was still in a relationship he had mentioned that he left a bad long-term relationship and wasn’t ready to have anything for a while)
    I don’t want anything either, I’ve just left a long term relationship myself. But I couldn’t help but develop feelings for him. We get along so well, and we’re very sexually attracted to one another. Hooking up with him felt different, there was so much passion and cuddling and it was always so much fun. We could sit and chat for hours on end without running out of things to say. The one evening we spent the entire time cuddling, holding hands and chatting about our passions.

    But something is different. Since we started hooking up, he’s been very hot and cold with me. One moment he goes out of his way to see me and acts like I’m the only one in the room and other times he ignores my messages and treats me like just another friend.

    I know I have been distant with him recently as well and don’t treat him the way I used to but it’s just because my feelings for him are getting stronger and having recently left a relationship and with him being someone not wanting a relationship and moving away, I feel I need to distance myself to avoid falling for him even more and hurting myself.

    What confuses me is, I don’t know if:
    A) since the break up with my ex, he has lost romantic feelings for me and now only sees me as a sexual pursuit and that’s why he doesn’t put in much effort
    B) he maybe feels the same way as me. He’s developed stronger feelings and feels he needs to kill them because we’re both not ready for anything and he’s leaving soon (in a few weeks)
    C) he’s realized I’ve developed feelings for him and since he only wanted hook ups, he’s pushing me away

    I hope I’ve explained myself correctly, this was far more difficult than I imagined :/

  • Charlotte

    Dear Pete,

    What does a male stranger mean to do when he randomly strikes up a conversation with a female stranger? For example, when I’m out and about on the streets or on a plane/bus/train or something and I’m sitting next to a male stranger, he will casually strike up a conversation, asking me personal questions about my life and stuff. I mean, it’s very nice to know that someone is interested in getting to know more about me…quite flattering. But when a man does this, is there any other intent behind it than just being friendly? Thanks so much, Pete!

    Charlotte

    • Peter White

      That’s a very broad question since there is no real I can give you.

      Sometimes, of course there’s intent. Sometimes not. You just have to read other social clues and objectify the conversation’s context to decide whether he’s being friendly or is possibly into something else with you.

  • Kayla

    Dear Pete,

    While I was getting off from work 3 days ago, a random guy I sometimes see around work struck up a conversation with me and asked for my number, so I gave it to him. A few hours later, he texted me saying, “Hey beautiful, it’s me” and I responded a couple hours later. Since then, he and I have been texting back and forth and getting to know each other. He called me beautiful right away, so I took it as a sign that he was romantically interested.

    I am an insanely busy person, so it takes me some time to respond to his texts and I always make sure to tell him that I am busy and that I can’t talk right now, but that I will text him back later. And he seems to be okay with it, because he tells me not to worry and to take care of my business. But lately, he’s been really slow at responding to my texts.

    For example, the last text I sent him was at 11 pm last night. It’s been over 16 hours and he still hasn’t texted me back.

    Please tell me what is going on his head. Has he found some other girl? Am I losing him?

    Thanks so much!
    Kayla

    • Kayla

      Oh sorry, forgot to mention that he’s 24 years old. Hope that’ll help you 🙂

    • Peter White

      Kayla,

      What you’re experiencing is just a guy who feels like he’s contacting you too much and is holding back a little so he doesn’t come off as desperate/needy or a little too much into you. He’s worried he’ll scare you away because you appear busier (or less interested) than him.

      You’re welcome,

      Pete

      And his age means nothing. 🙂

      • Kayla

        Hey Pete,

        Thank you so much for getting back to me! It has been 5 days and I still have not heard from him. What’s going on?

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