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Why Do Guys…?

Do Guys Take Women Seriously If You Sleep With Us Quickly?

in Dating, Reading A Man's Mind, Sex
Couple Date See her Again Fooling Around

Woman often wonder if us guys fall for women who give it away quickly or too easily.

How if we’re able to kiss you on the second date, you might never hear from us again.

Or how we might not take you (or a relationship with you) seriously if you fool around with us too early.

I’m not talking about just sex either. This could be a second or third date, a serious commitment, or plain old attraction.

Here are some absolute truths about us…

One woman I met was cute. She was wearing a prom dress and yep, a Tiara, and not one guy had the balls to approach her for real… except me of course. I saw it as a challenge and since at that time I was “practicing” my technique, I was all for it. (Well okay I watched a few guys “try” but their tactics were lame and let’s just say pathetically obvious.)

Guess they made it easier for me and nope, NOT going to tell you what I did so, :p

She did NOT give it away too easy. She was a fun challenge and that excited me.

The reason we never started dating was because of a phone conversation we were having. I had the pleasure of listening to her bitch to her Mother and fight  over some pretty stupid shit. She basically treated her like something less than a human.

From the very moment I realized what I was in for and since I didn’t like how she treated her, I never called her again. Just blew her off!

Another woman, a darling on the outside or should I say from afar, but was crazy as they come. She had severe emotional outbursts and although she was a little too easy for a certain guy type, namely me, we didn’t happen for the obvious reasons.

Intense emotional outbursts I wanted nothing to do with.

I wasn’t all that physically attracted to her even though she was “sort of” attractive and some guys would’ve really liked and did.

She had bad breath and a voice which, the more I thought of, would NOT have been a pleasure to hear her scream or moan in bed.

At one point I even felt that If we even went so far as screwing, I would’ve woke up with a knife to my throat IF she was in one of those bad morning moods.

Yet another girl, yes you can guess this one, had absolutely no control over her life. Everything about her was to blame all her problems on other people. She took absolutely no responsibility for the life she created for herself.

Hmmm… maybe I’m just bad at picking them… or maybe not. 🙂 Remember I’m just mentioning the bad ones here and the pattern is clear. As they say, bat shit crazy has to be the number one reason to scare us away.

But as always… it’s never that simple, is it?

You see as a guy I’m torn.

I want it early, that I do. Hell I’d take sex on the first date and to be completely honest, have been there in as little as fifteen minutes with one specific one.

And yes, if the circumstance or timing was right, I would’ve definitely saw her again and again until such time as I was able to figure out who she really was with clothes on. Well most of them at least.

We’re torn because it’s true, we’re going to put in more time and effort with women we’re extremely attracted to in more ways than purely physical especially IF we’re not getting any. I will say, without a doubt, if you can hold out and still keep him interested just long enough, you can keep him around.

But there’s always an exception or two…

For some once we get it, all those habits or bad things we’ve noticed but was ignoring because we haven’t slept together yet, suddenly become deal-breakers after we have sex once or twice or maybe three times.

Depending on the guy and how good the sex is of course.

For others, you can make us wait too long. When you become too much work and there’s no sexual release, suddenly it’s all we can think about and the relationship becomes second to getting some.

There seems to be a timing or balance which works well for us when it comes to “putting out” and since the guys tend to be different it’s probably best for YOU to find one which works for you and stick to it. You can’t keep changing it or you might get results which make it too difficult to figure out.

Remember, we’re torn.

We don’t want a slut who will put out to every stud but if that’s us, then we’re okay mostly with it. It’s the other guys and the number of them and the types of guys you choose to sleep with quickly we have a serious problem with AND in those cases we’re less likely to consider a relationship with you seriously.

Maybe I’m making a point here and I do realize this topic is much too big for one article so let’s keep this to one thing… sex or fooling around.

My point is now clear and although I just wrote it, let me say it again…

We don’t want, or consider relationships with a slut who will put out to every stud BUT if that’s just us, then we’re okay with it.

It’s the OTHER GUYS and the NUMBER OF THEM and more importantly the TYPE OF GUYS you choose to sleep with quickly we have a serious problem with AND in those cases we’re less likely to consider a relationship with you seriously.

Whether or not that sounds good or bad is not my concern. Whether it’s a double standard or not, is again, not my concern. I’m not here to argue that point today.

What I AM saying is, based on my ramblings today, is that early sex or sleeping with or fooling around quickly with a guy doesn’t seem to come into play as much as other things like who you really are or turn out to be after one or several dates.

We will consider or take a relationship with you seriously when the more important things are known to us unless we’re made to realize or don’t unfortunately approve of the other guys you’re dating or sleeping with all too casually.

Let me finish this by putting it in a perspective which has recently occurred to me because she’s famous and well-known.

Selena-Gomez-Would-You

Not sure where I picked this up BUT are you noticing what I am? Maybe it’s a guy thing.

Selena Gomez. 😉

I do NOT know her but I would sleep with her because I’m physically attracted to her with or without any consideration of the future. (If that wasn’t obvious by now. :p )

I would NOT commit to her until I spend enough time with her to see how we connect, who she is, how crazy she was, how our life together would work or fit, and all that is regardless of whether or not I could get her in fifteen minutes or two months. (Granted if she made me wait a year or two I’d probably give up but that’s just me.)

I know at least one person she’s been with, Justin Bieber, and I’m assuming they fucked at least once. Yes. I couldn’t care less about him and my opinion of him is only diluted by media. In other words I do not know him well enough to consider him an ass or not.

My point about Justin is, related to being or committing to Selena, based on my “other guys” theory is, well even if he’s turns out to be a jerk and that’s the type of guy she puts out too early for would NOT affect our relationship negatively (or have me pulling out of it) because if everything between us was good, I could always say…

“She chose ME over HIM and that’s a kind of proof of real love no one could deny.”

BUT if I was to learn her “assumed” sexual promiscuous ways led to her guys who were unknown bastards and was a pattern for her, then sex would be all she would get IF she tried hard enough. 😀

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Peter White. Just some guy every woman should get to know because, well I “think” like a guy. 🙂 Stay in touchnewsletter, Why Do Guys Facebook – Twitter @peterwhite125Thanks for stopping by and be good, be bad, just BE something.

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2 comments… add one
  • Akullu

    Hey Pete,
    Thanks for the above message, it really was eye opening. I have a question though? What if you didn’t consider yourself to have put it out too easily in the past and now you’ve met someone you feel it wouldn’t be that bad to do after all, would it still matter? (The other guy’s theory) I mean? Or would it then be crucial to keep him waiting a little?

    • Peter White

      Thank you Akullu.

      Interesting question.

      Well first it’s about finding a balance which works for you like I mentioned above, “There seems to be a timing or balance which works well for us when it comes to “putting out” and since the guys tend to be different it’s probably best for YOU to find one which works for you and stick to it. You can’t keep changing it or you might get results which make it too difficult to figure out.”

      Second, look at your past dating experience and relationship patterns. If you’ve held out too long in the past or just a really long time and things were not working out for you then yes, maybe it’s okay to get physical a little sooner.

      Third, in my opinion too much sexual chemistry early on, especially when you’re feeling it that much, is not a good start to something more long-term. We spend more time “getting off” then learning about compatibility AND we compromise on too many of the real issues because the sex is that good.

      Look at what I wrote here, “For some (women) once we get it, all those habits or bad things we’ve noticed but was ignoring because we haven’t slept together yet, suddenly become deal-breakers after we have sex once or twice or maybe three times.” Hold out too long and he might just wait around just long enough to get it and then bail quickly after.

      Either way you’re screwed right? 😉

      Well, sort of.

      Again, find a balance (or time frame) which works best to assure that if you”re both getting off then you’re also spending a fair amount of time on compatibility (or future building) AND if you can’t do both then don’t have sex too early OR don’t bother looking long-term and just, see how it all goes on its own. (Probably not the best option for women BUT it’s what most guys do anyways, right? 🙂 )

      Great question.

      Hope the answer lived up to it.

      Your guy friend,

      Pete

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